Tell us a joke.

a nun and a priest are driving on an overnight trip to a new assignment. they get to the motel late and the clerk tells them they only have one room with 2 beds. being as how its late and they are people of integrity. they take it.
they get settled and after a few minutes the nun starts saying shes cold so the priest turns up the furnace. shes still cold minutes later and asks the priest if they can share the bed. he ponders a moment and agrees. minutes later she's still cold and wants to get closer. he finally says ok and so they get closer to each other. the nun is smiling. she asks the priest if he can get some more pillows and blankets to make it more comfy. the priest smiles and looks her eyes and says, "Just for tonight we will act like a married couple..."
the nun affectionately agrees with him. He looks at her kindly and says, "My dear, get your own fucking blankets and pillows..."
 
Little Johnny is on his way walking home from school... A guy in a car pulls up next to him, winds down the window and says ''Hey little boy, if I give you Lolly, will you come in my car...?"
Little Johnny replies, "If you give me the bag, I'll cum in your mouth...!!"
 
BruceD77 said:
whats the difference between parsley and pussy?
nobody eats the parsley...
Click to expand...
I don't mind parsley... maybe from the throw back days of Pizza Hut where they served a basket of hot chips with a sprig of parsley... 🥦
In saying that, I would happily bypass parsley straight for pussy desert... 🍨
 
Q. What do you call a Deer without eyes...??

A. No idea

Q. What you call a Deer with no eyes and no legs...??

A. Still no idea

Q. What do you call a Deer with no eyes, no legs and is having sex...??

A. Fucking still no idea
 
A milkman is delivering milk to a lady’s house and hears her call out that the front door is open and to come inside. He finds her sitting naked in the bathtub but there’s no water. The lady tells the Milkman that she wants him to fill the tub with milk.

The Milkman ask if she wants the milk pasteurised to which the Lady replies, “No thanks, just up to my breasts so I can splash it into my eyes”

🍼🍼
 
Yorick the donkey was walking through the forest and suddenly saw Winnie the Pooh and Piglet. Piglet's whole face was smeared with blood and shits.
—OMG, Piglet, what happened to you? — asked Yorick
—Abbvv gvvv gr... gr...avbbd... — the piglet tried to explain, but nothing was understood.
—Pooh, why is Piglet's whole face covered in shits?
—Well, because he ate shits.
—Holy fuck...! And why is he smeared with blood?
—Because he didn't want to eat shits.
 
Q: Why do Elephants have flat Feet?
A: From jumping out of trees

Q: Why do elephants jump out of trees?
A: To stamp out Flaming Ducks
 
Q: How do you shoot a Blue Elephant?

A: With a Blue Elephant Gun.

Q: How do you shoot a pink Elephant?

A: No, not with a pink Elephant gun. You hold his nose til he turns Blue, then shoot him with the Blue Elephant gun
 
Q: How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?
A:Very hard!

Q: How can you put a mouse in a refrigerator?
A: Even harder because the elephant is in the fridge!
 
Lil Red is bopping down the trail to Granny's when she meets a rabbit
Rabbit says"Red Ridinghood! Don't you know if you keep going down this path, the big bad wolf is gonna jump out from behind a tree, pull down your lil red pants and fuck your brains out?"

Little Red says serenely, "Oh....I'm not worried".

Little further down the trail, Red sees a fawn....and the fawn looks at lil Red with a fright in her eyes...
"Red Ridinghood...." says the Fawn...." Please dont go further into the woods...That bad old wolf is gonna jump out, Pull down your lil red britches, and fuck your ass off!"

Little Red says, still serenely, "Oh....I'm not worried".
A little further and Red sees a little flock of Bluebirds, who startle, fly into a tree and tweet.....

" Oooooh Little Red Ridinghood! Please .....oh please, dont take another step! That bad, bad wolf is on the prowl! Hes gonna jump out, drag your red pants down to your ankles, bend you over a limb and fuck you til you can't stand up!"

Little Red says even more serenely, "Oh....I'm not worried".

Sure enough, twenty paces further and out jumps the slavering nasty big Baaaaad Wolf, who says..."Little Red....I am going to pull your little red panties down around your ankles, bend you over this here tree limb, and Fuck you within an inch of your little RedRidinghood life!".....
And Red reaches under her
Riding hood, pulls out a 12 ga, and tells him....
"Oh nooooo, you're not.....YOU are gonna EAT ME, just like that book says!"
 
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Im curious....why a virgin? It was an Italian in NJ, a Polack in Ct, a Squarehead in Mn. and a Mexican in Texas...Probably a German in France, a Dago in Spain....the unfortunates change with location, but I never heard it with a virgin.
 
You hear about the guys on Oak Island that had their old cottage gutted and totally redone? Contractor came and started ripping plaster off the walls, and he found the walls were stuffed full with coconut fibers for insulation..He ran and got the guys and showed them his discovery..They asked him if pirates could have built the cottage, and he replied, "It most definitely was pirates because of the rare fibers" They asked the contractor how he was so sure and why coconut fibers for insulation...He said only pirates used coconut fibers to insulate because of the Arrrrgh value...
 
The tribal chief and his youngest son were sitting around the fire when the son asked, “father, how did you come to name us?”

The chief recalled, “when your older brother was born, I stepped out of the teepee and I saw the eagle flying high above. So I named him Soaring Eagle. Tell me Two Dogs Fucking, why do you ask?”
 
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