Deep quotes you heard or made up?

[humananimal]

I saw a poster quoting Bill Gates :
“I choose a lazy man to a difficult job - he will find an easy way to do it “

 

[humananimal]

“I wonder what my parents did before the internet was invented ?
I asked my 14 siblings, but they didn’t know it either.”

 

[dartel]

"Oh jesus christ monkeys."
- my newesy curse of exasperation

 

[dartel]

"Assuming you don't want your tongue used for raw materials the next time I have to resole one of my boots, I suggest you stop moving it."

 

[MrsShemon]

"With coffee and tampons, you are prepared for everything"

 

[lucyninfomana00]

when you can't buy what you want, you just have to steal it.

 

[dartel]

"Knock knock

...

You're supposed to say 'who's there?'

Why would I give away my location? I would simply smash through the door and face my assailant."

 

[humananimal]

"Knock knock

...

You're supposed to say 'who's there?'

Why would I give away my location? I would simply smash through the door and face my assailant."

As Mick did in Crocodile Dundee 2

 

[dartel]

"Wealth is nothing more than a prison."

 

[JazzyPaws]

"Your whisper from the dark has now become a plea, we cannot turn our backs."

-Picard

 

[dartel]

"'Equestrian', by the by, that's the gayest language in the English language."

 

[dartel]

"There's no such thing as bad language. I don't believe that, it's ridiculous. They call it 'debasing the language'. No! We are adults. These are the words that WE use to express frustration, rage, anger. In order that we don't pick up a tire iron and beat the SHIT out of somebody."

 

[dartel]

"I prefer to stockpile my patience rather than spend it frivolously."

 

[dartel]

"Death is just nature's way of telling you 'hey, you're not alive anymore',."

 

[astol]

“Be Careful Who You Trust, Sergeant. People You Know Can Hurt You The Most.” - Ghost MW2

 

[ShanoirII]

The less braincells that go into making an argument, the more braincells that are required to debunk it.

 

[humananimal]

A fool can ask more than ten wise can answer.

 

[humananimal]

And a fool can answer more questions than ten wise can ask.

 

[dartel]

"Pub. Ah yes. A meeting place where people attempt to achieve advanced states of mental incompetence by the repeated consumption of fermented vegetable drinks."

 

[humananimal]

Not sure where I found it - An explanation of why alcohol feels to improve ones thoughts :

 

[HugDoggy]

Not sure where I found it - An explanation of why alcohol feels to improve ones thoughts :

View attachment 384229

Ah yes, a prime example of the Watermelon + Banana = 4 approach to logic.

 

[dartel]

Not sure where I found it

You found it on the sitcom Cheers.

 

[LustyGSD]

"We're all gonna make it brahs" - Zyzz

 

[AngryGoose]

More dollars than common sense.... You're supposed to say it out loud so it sounds clever

 

[dartel]

"When it comes to idiots, our country is like whack-a-mole. You get rid of one and three more will pop up."

 

[ShanoirII]

"Aversion to an idea, simply because of its long association with crackpots, gives crackpots altogether too much influence."

 

[CetaceanLover23]

"Suppose, you swear on an upside down, backwards, Chinese, old, brail bible with half the pages missing? Would that count"

-George Carlin: It's Bad For Ya' (2008)

 

[humananimal]

"Suppose, you swear on an upside down, backwards, Chinese, old, brail bible with half the pages missing? Would that count"

-George Carlin: It's Bad For Ya' (2008)

But ‘swear’ can mean “make a solemn statement or promise …”, but also using offending language - so what’s the count then ?

 

[TheZipper]

“Give them bread and circuses and they will never revolt” - ancient Roman poet Juvenal

 

[dartel]

"I shall now start the paperwork to make you a god."