Bad Genie

granted, your garbage cans, dishwashers, washing machines, and brooms are now possessed.

i wish nofap really gave you superpowers
 
i wish that i could send telepathic messages to characters in movies to make the story change and have new animations/lines/etc be produced in real-time as if the characters were actually making decisions and not following a premade script
 
Granted, but you will always forget the whole movie 5 minutes after the end.

I wish pink colour to be banned worldwide.
 
granted. the law of conservation of energy must be violated to fulfill your wish, since any light waves with a wavelength in the visible pink spectrum must either spontaneously gain or lose energy to be converted to another color, resulting in runaway hot and cold snaps that occur with no cause. this also has the effect of eliminating near-pink colors, like many reds and whites, because colors are as well-defined as a shoreline during a tsunami.

i wish our bodies were self-sustaining so we would not die if we did not have food, water, or air
 
Granted. Since you're self sustaining, all pores, holes, sphincters anal or otherwise becomes nonessential therefore are all sealed up. Never to eat, piss, shit, fuck and even not able to get that delicious greeny that took 10 minutes to fish out of your nostril.

I wish I could murder God to take over just like he murdered hundreds of gods and millions of people in the old testament.
 
granted. you are now responsible for the entire universe, meaning you will be the target of all the collective expletives and profanities that all lifeforms hurl into the void, since they will have you to blame for every little thing that goes wrong. "Oh, Steven Raccoon damn it" will be the most common blasphemous cuss word from now on

i wish i had clothes and sheets that kept themselves clean
 
ShanoirII said:
granted. you are now responsible for the entire universe, meaning you will be the target of all the collective expletives and profanities that all lifeforms hurl into the void, since they will have you to blame for every little thing that goes wrong. "Oh, Steven Raccoon damn it" will be the most common blasphemous cuss word from now on

i wish i had clothes and sheets that kept themselves clean
Click to expand...
If I was the target of collective profanities that's a price worth paying if I didn't have to lift a finger.

And your wish has been granted. Each square foot of self cleaning cloth is $150,000 meaning that obtaining the fabric you want is above your net worth.

I wish I was more omnipotent and omniscient than God.
 
Granted, but you are one of the gods that no one believes in anymore so you can't change anything.

I wish I could sleep for 1 minute and feel fully rested.
 
Ted Danson Machine said:
Granted, but you are one of the gods that no one believes in anymore so you can't change anything.

I wish I could sleep for 1 minute and feel fully rested.
Click to expand...
Granted. Due to the little need for sleep your lifespan is now cut by 99 percent.

I wish I could know why people need to believe in a god for things to change.
 
Granted, you now know how scared the masses are of there being nothing out there and are depressed

I wish I could read every language that has yet to be deciphered
 
Granted. It only works once and the destination is the Jurassic Age prior to the Chixilub impact.

I wish I knew what I looked like if I was god this time (not the same as the last one).
 
Granted, you look like yourself because we were made in his image, you feel depressed even more than when you learned about the scared masses

I wish I could create a cure for cancer
 
Granted, you see the fallacy and your mind cannot handle the paradox (should have wished for god brain too lol), you are now insane as well as depressed

I wish I had unlimited resources to conduct psychological research
 
Ted Danson Machine said:
Granted, you see the fallacy and your mind cannot handle the paradox (should have wished for god brain too lol), you are now insane as well as depressed

I wish I had unlimited resources to conduct psychological research
Click to expand...
Granted, you’re the test subject.

I wish I had the exact amount of money to pay for something in my pocket in the least possible amounts of bills/change of the local currency.
 
granted, you have untangled the paradox and found that, nothing is interesting when it's easy to understand.........you are depressed and bored now
lol

I wish my internet wasn't being a little bitch today and being slower than molasses
 
Granted. It only works at night and is melted into your skin and cannot be surgically removed.

I wish to have a long conversation with God.
 
granted. the conversation is at the Great White Throne Judgment before the Lord casts you into the everlasting Lake of Fire, and the subject matter is all of your sins, blasphemy, and unbelief. youre not a zoophile, but youre going to the same place that zoophiles go when they die
🔥🔥🔥😭🔥🔥🔥😱🔥🔥🔥😭🔥🔥🔥

i wish, when i was typing a message and get a notification, that when i clicked on the bell box it would just show me the popup menu instead of taking me to a separate page and erasing the big chunk of text that i will have to rewrite
 
granted. you meant "God's Power", as in the move in Breath of Fire II for the SNES, where Deathevn steals 30% of all party members' HP and MP, right?

i wish for an unlimited supply of sugar free french vanilla iced coffee that never went stale or got warm
 
No, I meant being all powerful.

Granted, your iced coffee is stored at absolute zero and will vaporize the moment it gets a degree warmer than that.


I wish I was a mind reader.
 
well, Breath of Fire II was a game about destroying a church made by a demonic god who created an evil religion with a loving facade for the purpose of devoting the world to him so he could channel the power of their fanaticism. so it may be mildly relevant lol

granted. you now know exactly how little everyone around you actually thinks about you, which is simultaneously liberating and kind of depressing

i wish that mcdonalds frappe machine worked.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top