Bad Genie

YIMBY said:
You mean explicitly? 'cause our moral framework kind of depends on that already being true.
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yeah that was the joke lol
YIMBY said:
I wish I weren't so tired right now.
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granted, you will now never know when your body needs to sleep until your brain forcefully passes out after three straight days

i wish that i could remotely see and hear things.
 
granted, the plate appears before your face then falls onto your computer and smashes and makes a mess.

i wish that barry b benson from the bee movie was real
 
Granted, but now all predatory animals starve to death due to their pacifism.

I wish that sasquatch and nessie hunters had better camera equipment
 
Granted, now the thread gets locked and we cant play anymore.

I wish that computers could be powerful enough and the software would exist to actually simulate an entire functioning world
 
Granted, but it's so convincing it's impossible to tell which is which.

I wish that I could remember what I was going to type here a minute ago.
 
Granted, every time it rains you get pelted by a hail of hard candies.

I wish I had a fox pelt. With a fox still attached.
 
Granted, the skin is dead, but the flesh under the skin lives yet.

i wish i could represent e as a ratio of two integers
 
How horrific! The fox thing is pretty bad too.

Granted. Having broken mathematics, you are now convinced reality is based on false principles.

I wish for a flying car. Like in The Jetsons, except quieter.
 
Granted. You are now the subject of UFO sightings and whenever you fly your flying car, the News wont stop talking about aliens for weeks.

I wish the texts from the Library of Alexandria were preserved.
 
Granted. We now have many more examples of ancient poetry.

I wish for something really impressive but not harmful to happen outside my window.
 
Granted. Ball lightning drops out of the clear blue sky right outside your window, settles on the ground, then disintegrates. However, another person happened to be looking out their window at the same time, saw the ball lighting, and started a religious cult around it right next door.

I wish that I had a notebook that caused whatever items that are written on the lines of its pages to be materialized right before it in three dimensional reality.
 
ShanoirII said:
...and started a religious cult around it right next door.
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That sounds pretty harmful.
ShanoirII said:
I wish that I had a notebook that caused whatever items that are written on the lines of its pages to be materialized right before it in three dimensional reality.
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Granted, but somebody has written "ball lightning" halfway across every margin, so it has a 50/50 chance of appearing every time you write something else.

I wish I could ride a unicycle.
 
YIMBY said:
That sounds pretty harmful.
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the cult didnt start without your window, it started in your neighbor's basement

Granted, but it's to a floppy disk.

I wish i could think into existence thought creatures to live in my mind and talk to me
 
Granted, you know have the ability to create imaginary friends. But you also have to run a home for all of them.
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I wish that I could spend more time on reading.
 
Granted, your reading comprehension speed is now slower.

I wish the interior of my closet was an infinite plane of procedurally generated wilderness
 
Granted, but it's the same type of wilderness and completely uninhabited.

I wish I had more self-motivation.
 
Granted, you are even more motivated to stay in bed all day long.

I wish I always knew what to have for dinner.
 
Granted. You are such a good cook that Gordon Ramsey hears about you and comes to your house to personally taste your food. Best of luck.

I wish I could see ultraviolet and infrared colors outside the visible human spectrum
 
Granted, but it is cursed such that all the ink ground using it will relocate itself once applied to a page to spell out evil hexes and incantations. (i had to stretch on that one)

I wish that, the next time a self-important person goes to sleep, they will have a 3D trumpet man tell them in their dream that they're not perfect.
 
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Granted, but I stole their secret recipes and start making bootleg mcdonalds that i sell in back alleys for a fortune.

I wish for a chalice with a bezoar stone in it
 
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