Bad Genie

[Valkiria]

Granted, but he speaks so much, you can't say a single word.
I want to have my own Famous criminal syndicate.

 

[Ted Danson Machine]

Granted, you only steal from dumpsters though
I wish I could see Nightwish lol

 

[Valkiria]

Granted, but they won't play music until you watch them

I want a crocodile leather jacket!

 

[Ted Danson Machine]

that is still a win lol

Granted, but it's alive and tries to eat you

I wish I could have a new computer

 

[ice bear]

Granted, "new" to you lol

I wish my dick was magic so I could fuck the world

 

[Ted Danson Machine]

Granted, your dick turns into John Holmes and runs off lol

I wish I could understand string theory

 

[SultryHellhound]

Granted, your dick turns into John Holmes and runs off lol

I wish I could understand string theory

Granted, but you now have to explain it in depth to every person you encounter.

I wish I could change events in the past.

 

[Pillar]

Granted. You can now change the world's history worse, never better.

I wish I had unlimited resources.

 

[ShanoirII]

Granted. You can now change the world's history worse, never better.

I wish I had unlimited resources.

granted. an infinite amount of mass fills up the entire universe, and everything implodes under the pressure and the immense gravitational force.

i wish in my mind i could see and hear things happening in far-off places without actually being there

 

[Pillar]

Granted. All you can hear is the silence of the cold, dark vacuum of space.

I wish I could defeat God.

 

[CarolinaHorseGirl]

Granted. All you can hear is the silence of the cold, dark vacuum of space.

I wish I could defeat God.

Granted, but now you are in a tournament of the gods and your next opponents are the norse ones.

I wish I was more popular with the ladies.

 

[YIMBY]

Granted. All the grandmas in town dote on you.

I wish I had a motorcycle.

 

[Pillar]

Granted, but now you are in a tournament of the gods and your next opponents are the norse ones.

I wish I was more popular with the ladies.

Wait, if you're a woman why would you need to do that?

Granted. All the grandmas in town dote on you.

I wish I had a motorcycle.

Granted. It's a 1960s vintage bike and it's beyond repair and can't be used for salvage parts.


I wish I could know the secrets of the universe.

 

[ShanoirII]

granted. you have now reached a state of such immaculate enlightenment and wisdom that, by comparison, all other people seem brutish and foolish, and you cannot stand to be in the company of other people, for they are either unable or, more likely, unwilling to "get on your level".

i wish my closet door was a two-way portal into an extradimensional space, leading to a wide plane consisting of a fantastical wilderness scape, full of a variety of biomes and creatures

 

[Ted Danson Machine]

Granted, however you lost the key and can only listen to the fun everyone is having on the other side of the door

I wish I had a key to Shanoirll's closet

 

[YIMBY]

Granted, and he'll come out of it just for you.

I wish I were a talented scientist.

 

[Ted Danson Machine]

Granted, you are the most talented scientologist

I wish I could read

 

[SashaHonda]

Granted, but he speaks a language you cannot understand.

I wish I was not awake right now lol I hate waking up so damn early >.<

 

[Ted Danson Machine]

Granted, you are dreaming all of this!!!

I wish I could use the force

 

[Valkiria]

Granted, you're now locked forever in a cage in Vader's palace to practice.

I wish I was a singer in a famous metal band.

 

[Ted Danson Machine]

Granted, you are Ozzy....the old disheveled version

I wish I could have wifi that didn't suck

 

[Pillar]

Granted. You now have no wifi at all. I wish I could see my afterlife.

 

[Valkiria]

Granted. You see yourself in Hell and me on the throne on the right side of Satan. Now pray for mercy!

I wish I could travel in time.

 

[Ted Danson Machine]

Granted, but you can only go back to before women had rights........you hate it

I wish I could run at the speed of light

 

[Valkiria]

Granted. According to relativity theory, your mass is now infinite and you turn into Black hole.
I wish I could see through walls.

 

[Ted Danson Machine]

Granted, but only walls made of the glass partitions

I wish I could walk through any type of matter

 

[Pillar]

Granted. You now exist as subatomic particles and can exist in two places at once.

I wish to defeat Satan.

 

[ShanoirII]

granted. now everything in the universe conforms to god's immaculately holy will.
which means no more fornication, gambling, exotic dancing, pot-smoking, masturbation, cussing, women usurping authority over men, etc.

i wish my mind had the processing power of a supercomputer

 

[Valkiria]

Granted. You gain speed, but, now your brain is much much more primitive than an average human brain with all that quadrillion synapses.

I wish I had a house on the Moon!

 

[farmergalwi]

You do butnit is not air tight and you suffocate.
I wish I could make people orgasm at will.