Bad Genie

Pillar

Prized Citizen of ZV
BANNED USER
Granted. You have the drives but don't have the keys.

I wish I could understand this allegedly "perfect" will of GOD (no fornication, pot smoking, etc.).
 

ShanoirII

Citizen of Zooville
Granted. You have the drives but don't have the keys.

I wish I could understand this allegedly "perfect" will of GOD (no fornication, pot smoking, etc.).
granted. you now understand the will of god, and - oh no! - its all so clear to you now, and you agree with it!
you are now just as much of a puritanical crusader as god is! his most devout follower!


i wish i could withstand blazing heat or fatal cold as if it were standard room temperature
 

Pillar

Prized Citizen of ZV
BANNED USER
Granted. Your nerves no longer exist and you can no longer feel anything, no pain, no pleasure.

I wish I could kill God and Satan and both their armies simultaneously.
 

ice bear

Zooville Settler
Granted, now because you can kill something immortal we suddenly live in a universe where paradoxes are possible and logic has no meaning, and everything falls apart at the quantum seams....

I wish I could cum like a fire hose.
 

Pillar

Prized Citizen of ZV
BANNED USER
Granted. You get pushed off an airplane with skydiving gear that may or may not malfunction on you in order to overcome your fear.

I wish to know the truth.
 

Cajlatsa

Citizen of Zooville
Granted. Your nerves no longer exist and you can no longer feel anything, no pain, no pleasure.

I wish I could kill God and Satan and both their armies simultaneously.
Granted

But how are you going to deal with the left-overs? :)
 

Cajlatsa

Citizen of Zooville
Granted. You get pushed off an airplane with skydiving gear that may or may not malfunction on you in order to overcome your fear.

I wish to know the truth.
Granted - Come visit me in the here-after, and I'll tell you my truth!

I wish I could swallow a double edged sword!
 

Pillar

Prized Citizen of ZV
BANNED USER
Granted - you swallow that sword and you die.

I wish I could know the truth WHILE ALIVE.
 

Shalik

Tourist
Granted - You will know the truth, but the longer you know the truth, the less inteligent you will be

I wish i could increase a probability of something happening, just by thinking about that thing while crossing my fingers
 

Pillar

Prized Citizen of ZV
BANNED USER
Granted. You now suffer aphantasia and you can't think clearly about what you want anymore.

I wish I could meet God in person without dying.
 

ShanoirII

Citizen of Zooville
granted. to meet god in person without dying, you must walk daily in a perfectly righteous and sinless life, so that you can be raptured into his kingdom and given an immortal body, and will have the honor of singing his praises for all eternity (and fighting as a soldier in the end-times war against the seven-headed dragon of Revelations).

i wish peoples' pants really did catch on fire when they lied
 

Pillar

Prized Citizen of ZV
BANNED USER
Granted. The flames last only 1 billionth of a second and are invisible to the naked eye.

I want to see God while alive and as a sinner.
 

ice bear

Zooville Settler
Granted. To your surprise, God is an alien that hasn't been to earth in thousands of years. He happily dissects you.

I wish all the raindrops were lemondrops and gumdrops.
 

Taopony

Citizen of Zooville
Granted, but the candy is molten hot and burns through everything it touches.

I wish stupid people no longer existed.
 

Pillar

Prized Citizen of ZV
BANNED USER
Granted. The world no longer exists.

I wish that if I met that alien God that tried to dissect me I could kill him first.
 

ShanoirII

Citizen of Zooville
granted. the interplanetary police department charges you with deicide

i wish that information from body language and tone of voice could be transmitted across internet forums, so what people were saying could be more easily interpreted than plain text
 

farmergalwi

Tourist
You get there and your Tour Guide is Benito Mussolini and he leads you right back out of hell.

I wish I could bring Anime characters to life.
 

Taopony

Citizen of Zooville
Granted, but they only speak Japanese and not English

I wish it was possible to teleport to different places on a whim
 

Pillar

Prized Citizen of ZV
BANNED USER
Granted. It's the old style of fuel that's incompatible with newer vehicles.

I wish I had sex with women every day.
 
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