Bad Genie

Granted. You was able to think of many new things to wish for, but the thread died for two months.

I wish I had better metabolism
 
Granted. You now are average in every way, making you completly uninteresting to everybody. (Please don't be like that, enjoy being not normal, whatever it means. Everybody needs to have some unique characteristics.)

I wish more people would think before they ask something in PMs.
 
Granted. You now get absolutely no more PMs as the dumb ones disappear and the smart ones find better things to do than to bother you with PMs. However, no one replies to your PMs.

I wish I had wings as a human being and still have all my arms and legs.
 
Boom! Done! You have the long delicate wings of a dragonfly...don’t get wet or crinkle them!

I wish my German Shepard could speak to me in English...
 
Granted. Your dog speaks English but in the most unpleasant way possible, as per the nails-on-a-chalkboard sounds.

I wish I could meet a zoo in person.
 
Granted. You're now the Michaelangelo of priapism.

I wish for 4 inches to be removed from my cock length.
Granted. Four inches of your cock are now grafted to the end of your nose.

I wish my most despised enemy would be struck by a minimum of 12 tons of granite chunks that each weigh 10 pounds or more that have fallen from no less than 1000 feet.
 
Granted. Four inches of your cock are now grafted to the end of your nose.

I wish my most despised enemy would be struck by a minimum of 12 tons of granite chunks that each weigh 10 pounds or more that have fallen from no less than 1000 feet.
Granted. You will spend the next 120 days throwing 10 pounds chunks of granite without rest and without end.

I wish I knew who his most despised enemy was.
 
Granted, you learned that just as they stabbed you.

I wish the postal service would be more reliable
 
Granted. You leave but we miss you and you miss it too. So you come back anyway.

I wish drinks would stay cold longer
 
Granted. The world now has a new ice age, drinks will never be warm again.

I wish I could levitate.
 
Boom! Levitation granted!!! Unfortunately you float away...but are very happy doing it.

I wish I had a new car
 
Granted. You now have a brand new Yugo, untouched and covered in dust from sitting in storage for decades.

I wish I had superpower.
 
Granted, now the CIA wants to shoot you.

I wish too have better hair
 
Granted the Amazing Clumsy Body Modifiers just entered your bedroom all sharpened teeth and claws a-ready.

I wish Ghosts could have sex with us again.
 
granted, all who ever died on earth is back to have sex with you. hope you stocked up on water and viagra, the line starts with the ones who died the longest ago.

I wish i had more friends.
 
Granted. You now have a wooden nose that's all jagged and splintered - Seems Pinocchio was involved in a nasty bar fight last night...

I wish MTG's new bill to abolish the ATF would pass.
 
Granted. Your tongue doesn't fit your mouth anymore, it adapted to keep hanging and catch insects as you're going.

I wish I could type faster
 
Granted. You now remember EVERYTHING you didn't want to remember. Failures, hateful moments, bad smells, unpleasant memories and unpleasant experiences will now repeat themselves eternally until you reach the age of dementia.

I wish I could live without suffering.
 
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