Same bro.
I want nothing more than to step up, lube up and glide into that thick-muscled ring... I've held out all my life, hoping against the odds to someday plant my seed in a stud's guts; to shed my virginity in the manner as I've dreamed of for so long.
I wanna rut slow, root myself in a stallion's shitter and blow pearly lances of steaming-hot spunk balls-deep.
That fantasy lives rent-free in my mind like 24/7... And every night I slump into bed to slumber without having been able to do just that feels as though it saps my will to live bit by bit. I want nothing more than to fruitlessly breed a fag-steed's doughy pucker day after day, night after night.
I'd rut that donut at least once daily, more likely twice or thrice a day though... Or more if I get particularly needy. Fuck I want it so bad...
The idea that I may, very likely never, have a stallion-wifey...
It's a soul-crushing possibility that I face every time I wake up and in the hours before I pretend to be comatose.
All the same the euphoric high of sating that desire even if only vicariously through porn, man... It's bliss. A moment of escape and indulgence.
I feel so envious of those with such a lucky lot in life, with the resources, know-how and finances to be able to afford such a lifestyle.