What Do You Get Annoyed By?

Stories that are supposed to be sexy written from a female pov, that are obviously written by a male, and sounds like he's using Grammer of an 8yo. "OH, it made me tingle between my legs" and "I love all the yummy cum in little squishy pussy!"
I'll do one better! Any story that's obviously written by a virgin but is supposed to be realistic or depicting actual lifestyle events. Saying shit like the dog is thrusting in me for hours or omg my first knot felt amazing and so good when nobody who has sex with their first dog is ever ready for what the breeding and tying actually feels like.
 
When I can't find a torrent for something bad and/or obscure, that for whatever reason I want to torture myself with again, even though I've downloaded it via torrent in the past.
 
Pre-2016ish movies using night scenes to hide the crappy ability to blend cgi with live action. "Eh, just make it dark, they won't be able to see enough to tell."
 
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If you can't figure out where the barcode scanner is right in front of you, don't stand there looking like a fucking idiot for 2 minutes. Just type in the damn 7 digit code, it will take you 5 seconds.
 
People that bump into someone they know in the grocery store, and just sit there and chat and block an isle instead of moving the conversation to a corner where they aren't in the way
 
If the self serve machine is giving an error, don't just leave it and move to the other. Tell me so I can come fix it!
 
People in the checkout line in front of you that feel obligated to get into a 15 minute conversation with the checker about some completely meaningless shit..
 
A dumb moron with primitive language and zero education tryin' to hit on me. I'm just like "fuck off, dude"!
 
Leaf blowers, When I’m trying to take a damn work call. It’s quiet for days, phone rings and there is some dude 3 ft from me with the throttle wide open blowing one damn leaf for HOURS. Then I have to shout in the phone like I’m calling in air support back in Fallujah. Awesome. Thanks.

I need a drink now.
 
Using a "football field" as a unit of measurement. "It's bigger than 5 football fields". Yeah, fuck you.
That's not half as bad as Rhode Island.

I've never been to Rhode Island. I've never seen Rhode Island. I'm never going to fucking Rhode Island. I do not know how big Rhode Island is.
 
The EU's cookie law, and websites' method of "complying" with it. "We're required by law to announce that we use cookies, now press ok to use them." Yeah, how about a no option. I probably have more cookie popups element blocked than I do dick pic avatar photos on this site. Can't force me to agree to using your cookies if I block your script waiting for the ok.
 
The number of people who comment on how I can type their phone number without looking at the keyboard. It's just a fucking number pad, it's not hard. Guess what, I can type words without looking at it too.
 
Using a "football field" as a unit of measurement. "It's bigger than 5 football fields". Yeah, fuck you.
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Have they ever heard of metric or imperial system? A washing machine size, really? Fuck off.
 
Have they ever heard of metric or imperial system? A washing machine size, really? Fuck off.
From the number of people that come into my work who can't grasp how big 6 feet by 2 feet is without seeing the size banner (that I'm not even supposed to have) on the wall...

*ring ring*
"How big can you print a poster?"
"3 feet"
"How big is that?"
"Ok, you seriously can just fuck off."
 
Oh yes, and then there's the retards who can't wrap their brain around the fact that, yes, that 6 foot wide by 3 foot tall banner can be turned sideways to be 6 feet tall and 3 feet wide. I have an 8'x3' size chart banner on my wall and 20 feet away there's a 3'x6' advertisement display banner. I can't tell you how many people have looked at the banner on the wall and argued "no, I want it tall like that over there". No fucking shit. Guess what the printer doesn't give a fuck if the artwork is "sideways".
 
From the number of people that come into my work who can't grasp how big 6 feet by 2 feet is without seeing the size banner (that I'm not even supposed to have) on the wall...

*ring ring*
"How big can you print a poster?"
"3 feet"
"How big is that?"
"Ok, you seriously can just fuck off."
Good fucking god, yet another today. "Is that big?" To a 2 footby 3 foot. "I'm a visual person." So visualize a fucking ruler, or yard stick! How can you not know how fucking big a foot it!? I can’t help you. Go back to preschool! I'm not in your brain, and thank fuck for that, I don't know what random object I can use as a measurement to get you to figure out how big 3 feet is.
 
Oh yes, and then there's the retards who can't wrap their brain around the fact that, yes, that 6 foot wide by 3 foot tall banner can be turned sideways to be 6 feet tall and 3 feet wide. I have an 8'x3' size chart banner on my wall and 20 feet away there's a 3'x6' advertisement display banner. I can't tell you how many people have looked at the banner on the wall and argued "no, I want it tall like that over there". No fucking shit. Guess what the printer doesn't give a fuck if the artwork is "sideways".
Seems that you're doomed to work with morons.
 
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