Top things not to say during sex

[Reconscope]

You gotta try this cherry pie.

 

[bee18]

get of me

 

[saddlebum66]

Ouch!

 

[FloofyNewfie]

To a prostitute: I know you normally charge $500 for an hour of your services, but if I only last 30 seconds will you accept $4.17?

 

[Animallover]

Sorry sir, I will put her in the coffin as soon as I finish.

 

[Duramax96]

Prostitute - My time is money honey.

Man - Yeah… about that. See, we talked about me fucking around with the dog. And since she values the love and attention people give her, your TIME don’t count

 

[Duramax96]

Man - Damn you have a big pussy! Damn you have a big pussy.
Woman - Why’d you say it twice?
Man - ??? I only said it once. ?

 

[bee18]

When you go to sleep?

 

[Michioliphant]

Uhm, do you mind putting this bag on your… oh never mind. Coffee? I can run?

 

[saddlebum66]

No

 

[bee18]

Not again......

 

[saddlebum66]

More? Of Course, more....you think THAT was a Dollar's worth?

 

[139HUNTER139]

Oh you itch there too

 

[humananimal]

Dairy farmer : I am used to females, I think you is stall number 8.

 

[Duramax96]

I’m not putting my dick in THAT hole!

 

[Cjarsa831]

Well that was some shitty anal

 

[Michioliphant]

Your father and sons, in fact your grandfather are much better at this, do you people not discuss techniques around meals and barely?

 

[Reconscope]

Why the hell does this towel smell like a tortilla

 

[Pillar]

Not again......

...I think I'm going to show myself out the door now.

 

[humananimal]

I prefer the cow

 

[saddlebum66]

Attagirl, Bessie!

 

[oldgoat75]

will ya' douche next time,shit what a mess

 

[Beasttom]

Echooooo

 

[sarahsingletono98]

That was it?

 

[Farmhand640]

Her sisters name!

 

[Bigpaws_Bear]

Singing "Tie My Kangaroo Down."

 

[oldgoat75]

Please pass my anti-biotics

 

[humananimal]

I lost the bet with your mother, she is better

 

[FireShire]

Can we hurry, my mare is waiting in the barn.

 

[humananimal]

When I am ready again, please hold her tail.