Top things not to say during sex

[oldgoat75]

Please pass my anti-biotics

 

[humananimal]

I lost the bet with your mother, she is better

 

[FireShire]

Can we hurry, my mare is waiting in the barn.

 

[humananimal]

When I am ready again, please hold her tail.

 

[breakingbeard]

I think your my mom

 

[Kristy]

*speaks gently* "I'm sorry, but your free trial hour has ended. Any more will cost ya."

 

[Phenex7]

Finally!!!! Fucked me a muskrat!!!!

 

[Klondike bar]

The dog is better

 

[humananimal]

Growling and shouting the name of the bitch.

 

[yariscode867]

I love you

 

[Steven Raccoon]

Let's get married!

 

[Michioliphant]

Are you sure you understand how this works?

 

[Steven Raccoon]

I'd be shitting in my pants, hauling ass and laying burning rubber on asphalt for miles if some person said that while we're fucking

 

[NobodyHereButUsMice]

(after having sex) "Uh... where did my condom go?"

 

[Dm2192]

"I was wearing protection! I was wearing my armor!!"
(Props if you get the reference!)

 

[Jef]

the entrance to the seventh sky is very covered with brush, when you were last shaved?

 

[Farmhand640]

What is that?

 

[Steven Raccoon]

Hey! That looks like the Grand Canyon.

 

[Klondike bar]

If I wanted pussy covered in fur I'd have just fucked the dog again

 

[sarahsingletono98]

Singing “baby orgasms doout doout dout doot
baby orgasm doout doout dout doot
daddy orgasm doout doout dout doot

 

[Steven Raccoon]

What's that green shit dripping out of my dick?

 

[Steven Raccoon]

I lied. I'm actually your uncle and brother. And our son is my father and yours.

 

[LeoHusky01]

You are my son and you are a mistake

 

[wandererlusting]

Singing “baby orgasms doout doout dout doot
baby orgasm doout doout dout doot
daddy orgasm doout doout dout doot

Thanks for that... You've likely created an imprint that will be triggered in my mind's eye every time I hear "baby shark" from now on bahahaha

 

[sarahsingletono98]

Thanks for that... You've likely created an imprint that will be triggered in my mind's eye every time I hear "baby shark" from now on bahahaha

You’re welcome

 

[Judas_Trying]

"does it come in a bigger size?"

 

[Steven Raccoon]

"Damn! You got a big pussy!
Damn! You got a big pussy!"

"Why did you say that twice?"

"I didn't."

-- A joke told by a character in the film 'Predator'.

 

[FloofyNewfie]

My dick has a boo-boo. You think you can kiss it for me?

 

[Dm2192]

My dick has a boo-boo. You think you can kiss it for me?

This could be really cute and make me morbidly curious about how you hurt yourself, or this could be really bad and I would have to call it off right there. Thanks for that.

"If this video gets to 100,000 likes, I'll make another video where I cum! Make sure you subscribe so you don't miss it!"

 

[TigerGuy31]

"You're just as tight as your sister."