Top things not to say during sex

[oldgoat75]

Bit dry

 

[Michioliphant]

Bit dry

You know that’s a thing, preference and actively worked for in parts of the world ?

 

[Michioliphant]

The Regiment agrees you can work off your debt ($1200?) at 50¢ a soldier per.

 

[Michioliphant]

I’m sorry, this ultra petit condom is just way to big.

 

[Tie and turn]

Gotta say, your father does it better.

 

[PsyTrancerDancer]

Oh btw I'm married sorry I didn't tell you sooner.

Happens every time on here I swear.

 

[oldgoat75]

i'll take the handcuffs off when i'm good & ready,,,the real fun hasn't started yet

 

[DM56152]

Actually said this one, finished whilst mating the (human) missus doggystyle, proceeded to pat her on the rump and say 'good girl' yeh, she wasn't overly impressed

 

[PleasureBear]

your free trial is over. Please enter your credit card number for the full package

 

[oldgoat75]

I'm certainly not paying for that,,if i had i'd want a refund

 

[Duramax96]

Me: Oh baby, your tongue feels amazing!
Lady: That’s the dog!
Me: Oh! She’s better

LOOL

 

[oldgoat75]

I need to pee,,,,oh,never mind ,,taken care of

 

[bee18]

Hurry up, the movie starts in a minute

 

[lanenasexy]

How much do I owe you?

 

[FireShire]

Hold that thought, i just heard my mare squeal out in the barn.

 

[Duramax96]

I wouldn’t fuck you with my dogs dick

 

[oldgoat75]

F#ck Off

 

[saddlebum66]

Face down, Girlie....My dinner isnt sitting right

 

[Pillar]

Y'know, I really don't want to do this...

 

[FloofyNewfie]

Why does my dick taste like that? You should go ask that well satisfied dog in the corner over there, she'll tell ya.

 

[Pillar]

Spoiler: WARNING: messed up statement

I was hired to kill you.

 

[saddlebum66]

"Oh, Pillar, I love you!"

 

[Cajlatsa]

Sorry I can't concentrate..there's far too much ZV noise happening!

 

[saddlebum66]

You picked off the scabs?

 

[oldgoat75]

be back after the race,,,,,keep yourself amused till then

 

[Pillar]

"Oh, Pillar, I love you!"

I know, I know, I'm not likable. ?

 

[ZooDonna]

I need to pee,,,,oh,never mind ,,taken care of

I can’t tell you how many times that’s happened to me. Not hearing those words but having him pee inside me.

 

[oldgoat75]

I can’t tell you how many times that’s happened to me. Not hearing those words but having him pee inside me.

I love that feeling...

 

[Michioliphant]

I’m sorry. I don’t really care what your name is. Here. Now. Your name is Bitch.

 

[oldgoat75]

I know i promised not to laugh but the is the smallest dick i have ever seen,,,hahahahahahahahahahaha