Pizza delivery! But, you have no clothes on...

Kristy said:
I think you do, yes, and there is nothing wrong with asking right when you first call, if they have any female delivery people.
If they don't, call another place.
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Perhaps it will be someone whom you want to make all yours and never, ever leave again. That will have to be a girl.
 
Kristy said:
Good story. Must you have answered the door? Do you have to have been able to answer it?
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Well, I was about to do her in the living room. When I got the knock I shouted something like "God damn it!" Lol. So whoever was at the door would have known I was home. Haha
 
As someone who made pretty good bank driving pizzas as a sideline for a while, I can tell you that unless the driver just hired on last week, they've probably seen it all, and most of it twice.

Some shortened, but real-life, situations I've delivered to:

Delivery to a motel room. Customer was a little old lady, probably 90 years old. She answered the knock in a T-shirt that stopped just above her navel. And nothing else. A bush like a rusted out brillo-pad, and her nipples were dangling about an inch above it. Transaction accomplished in a few seconds, as usual, and she offered to tip me a blowjob on the spot. After some negotiation, convinced her 10 bucks was way more than plenty, but thanks for the offer. Figured I'd use it to buy a bottle of brain-bleach on the way back to the store, but decided it wouldn't do any good... What's seen can't be unseen... <Sigh>

Walking up the porch stairs to a delivery. Sounds like a knock-down drag-out fight going on inside. Screaming, banging, thumping, sound of dishes breaking... "Oh boy, this might be a bad idea, but..." Knock. Ever seen The Green Mile? The guy who opened the door looked like John Coffey - on steroids - through a magnifying glass! I'm not saying this dude was a big black guy - I'm saying he was a FUCKING HUGE black guy! He might have actually needed to turn sideways and squat a bit to get through the door, he was that big. All by himself, he could have been half the offensive line for any pro football team, he was that damned big! And bleeding like mad from a scalp wound. Blood all down his face and the front of him, dripping off his arm - Basically looked like a freshly slaughtered hog. "Sorry", he says, "Wife just threw a skillet at me. Bitch hit me, too but I bet you could tell that, huh?" Hands me a $50 for a $16 order, I hand over the pie and start digging in my apron for his change - "Keep it, bro" and the door closes on him yelling "Kids! Pizza's here! Come and get it! Shannon, get your ass back out here, we ain't done!" in a voice that literally made the glass in the door rattle. Not being an idiot, I just climbed in the car and left... As my little brother used to say, "Not my circus, not my monkeys, I'm outta here before the tent catches fire and collapses!"

Walk up to a door and knock. Hear "Oh shit! Put that shit away, man!" It was then that I noticed the aroma... *DAMN* good smelling weed, obviously in large quantities. Scuttling and obvious panic mode inside. "Dudes, don't sweat it, it's just your pizza. I couldn't give a shit about the pot I can smell from out here unless you wanna share some." Chain on door rattles, sound of an aerosol can spraying (I'm thinking "You really expect spraying some Glade around is actually gonna do any good???") "You ain't a cop are you?" "Nope not a cop. Just your pizza. Hell, I'll light the joint if you want, but I need to get this done." Whispers and mutterings I can't make out, then the door opens and a cloud of "pine Fresh" comes rolling out, pushed by the smell of weed. Kid with what I think was probably a glock in his waistband hands me this spliff that could choke a cow - We're talking Cheech 'n Chong "Big Bambu" grade. On the coffee table behind him is a mound of pot, scales, baggies, and all the rest of what you'd expect to see in such a situation. "Light up", he says, so... <shrug> Who am I to argue? Torched up, enjoyed some primo stuff, and came away with $8 cash and probably half an ounce of what turned out to be some seriously prime herb as a tip. I had to call a "safety meeting" with the manager and the rest of the crew out behind the store when I got back. :)

And those are just the ones that come back immediately.

The only folks who have "Seen it all" more than a Pizza driver are probably cops and doctors...
 
UR20Z said:
As someone who made pretty good bank driving pizzas as a sideline for a while, I can tell you that unless the driver just hired on last week, they've probably seen it all, and most of it twice.

Some shortened, but real-life, situations I've delivered to:

Delivery to a motel room. Customer was a little old lady, probably 90 years old. She answered the knock in a T-shirt that stopped just above her navel. And nothing else. A bush like a rusted out brillo-pad, and her nipples were dangling about an inch above it. Transaction accomplished in a few seconds, as usual, and she offered to tip me a blowjob on the spot. After some negotiation, convinced her 10 bucks was way more than plenty, but thanks for the offer. Figured I'd use it to buy a bottle of brain-bleach on the way back to the store, but decided it wouldn't do any good... What's seen can't be unseen... <Sigh>

Walking up the porch stairs to a delivery. Sounds like a knock-down drag-out fight going on inside. Screaming, banging, thumping, sound of dishes breaking... "Oh boy, this might be a bad idea, but..." Knock. Ever seen The Green Mile? The guy who opened the door looked like John Coffey - on steroids - through a magnifying glass! I'm not saying this dude was a big black guy - I'm saying he was a FUCKING HUGE black guy! He might have actually needed to turn sideways and squat a bit to get through the door, he was that big. All by himself, he could have been half the offensive line for any pro football team, he was that damned big! And bleeding like mad from a scalp wound. Blood all down his face and the front of him, dripping off his arm - Basically looked like a freshly slaughtered hog. "Sorry", he says, "Wife just threw a skillet at me. Bitch hit me, too but I bet you could tell that, huh?" Hands me a $50 for a $16 order, I hand over the pie and start digging in my apron for his change - "Keep it, bro" and the door closes on him yelling "Kids! Pizza's here! Come and get it! Shannon, get your ass back out here, we ain't done!" in a voice that literally made the glass in the door rattle. Not being an idiot, I just climbed in the car and left... As my little brother used to say, "Not my circus, not my monkeys, I'm outta here before the tent catches fire and collapses!"

Walk up to a door and knock. Hear "Oh shit! Put that shit away, man!" It was then that I noticed the aroma... *DAMN* good smelling weed, obviously in large quantities. Scuttling and obvious panic mode inside. "Dudes, don't sweat it, it's just your pizza. I couldn't give a shit about the pot I can smell from out here unless you wanna share some." Chain on door rattles, sound of an aerosol can spraying (I'm thinking "You really expect spraying some Glade around is actually gonna do any good???") "You ain't a cop are you?" "Nope not a cop. Just your pizza. Hell, I'll light the joint if you want, but I need to get this done." Whispers and mutterings I can't make out, then the door opens and a cloud of "pine Fresh" comes rolling out, pushed by the smell of weed. Kid with what I think was probably a glock in his waistband hands me this spliff that could choke a cow - We're talking Cheech 'n Chong "Big Bambu" grade. On the coffee table behind him is a mound of pot, scales, baggies, and all the rest of what you'd expect to see in such a situation. "Light up", he says, so... <shrug> Who am I to argue? Torched up, enjoyed some primo stuff, and came away with $8 cash and probably half an ounce of what turned out to be some seriously prime herb as a tip. I had to call a "safety meeting" with the manager and the rest of the crew out behind the store when I got back. :)

And those are just the ones that come back immediately.

The only folks who have "Seen it all" more than a Pizza driver are probably cops and doctors...
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OMG! I loved all these stories! I'd wondered if they were out there. Thanks!
 
Kristy said:
The doorbell rings. There's your pizza delivery at the door, but you have no clothes on.
Women and men: To what extent do you cover yourself before answering the door? A few days ago, I ordered pizza. I'd forgotten to put on clothes for the pending delivery. If you don't wear clothes, it feels very normal and can be easily forgotten in some cases.
I remembered right about when I started opening the door. Oh well...no big deal. I do get turned on showing my body, so...

I answered the door and nicely greeted the delivery guy, somewhere between 18 and 19yo, and he almost dropped my pizza. His mouth was open and his eyes were wide open. He said, "Oh...uh...pizza? I think?"
I smiled. "You think you have a pizza?"
His eyes were all over me. "Yes...pizza...I have..."
"Very good!" I took the pizza, set it aside and pressed against him on the porch, my breasts against his chest, my erect nipples against his shirt.
I told him, "I think next time, you'll get here a little quicker, right?"
He said, "Uh...yes...yes ma'am...I...think I will..."
I got way too close to his mouth and said softly, "I pretty sure you will....I think you'll come pretty fast, actually."
"Yes! Yes I will!"
I gave him a good tip. He thanked me, backed away from me and off he went.

So, folks, if your doorbell rings and you're wearing no clothes or not enough, to what extent do you cover yourself?
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That is creepy. :D I would have backed up with a confused face and probably thinking you are either drunk or drugged.

But I have a similar experience. I just finished sucking my dog and had an erection when somebody knocked on the door. It stressed me quite a bit and when I opened the door the lady asked me what the hell is the mess on the stairs. She said it in a way that I assumed she thinks my dog is responsible for it and because I was stressed I kind of exploded saying that if my dog did that I would have cleaned that. She backed away a little bit and I kind of feel sorry for her now because she did not mean it that way.
 
pes said:
That is creepy. :D I would have backed up with a confused face and probably thinking you are either drunk or drugged.

But I have a similar experience. I just finished sucking my dog and had an erection when somebody knocked on the door. It stressed me quite a bit and when I opened the door the lady asked me what the hell is the mess on the stairs. She said it in a way that I assumed she thinks my dog is responsible for it and because I was stressed I kind of exploded saying that if my dog did that I would have cleaned that. She backed away a little bit and I kind of feel sorry for her now because she did not mean it that way.
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Creepy? Nope. Not creepy. And good thing I'm 100% drug and alcohol free, or the event might have been different.
 
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