Bad Genie

[Ted Danson Machine]

Granted, you were just eaten by a large predator

I wish I could steal the predators weapons to fight the Alien Queen

 

[acuriouslurker]

Granted, chloroform and candy did not intimidate Alien Queen and you got eaten.

I wish to be abducted by aliens.

 

[FloofyNewfie]

I wish to be abducted by aliens.

Granted... But...

you got eaten.

I wish that all the doggos and catos of the world found a loving home.

 

[acuriouslurker]

Granted, but they got too comfortable and banished all the humans to the streets. Posting from under a bridge now, thanks man.

I wish to only want to sleep when I choose to.

 

[FloofyNewfie]

Granted, but sleeping doesn't take away the feeling of tiredness.

I wish that I made $100 of passive income an hour.

 

[acuriouslurker]

Granted, too bad it's Monopoly money.

I wish to have friends.

 

[FloofyNewfie]

Granted, but they only exist inside of your head.

I wish acuriouslurker a nice day!

 

[acuriouslurker]

I wish acuriouslurker a nice day!

Granted, but same goes to FloofyNewfie

 

[acuriouslurker]

I wish to become a rap artist.

 

[FloofyNewfie]

Granted, but the genie misunderstood and you became a "wrap artist" that's good at wrapping gifts and nothing else.

I wish that my house cleaned itself automatically.

 

[acuriouslurker]

Granted, but it yeets all the trash and dirty dishes inside your car.

I wish to write a bestselling book.

 

[FloofyNewfie]

Granted, but it's a murder mystery novel that inspires all those that read it to commit murder.

I wish my vehicle had more horsepower.

 

[acuriouslurker]

Granted, but you now barely can drive from one gas station to the next one. Genie doesn't even need to be griefing you, that's just literally what will happen.

I wish to be able to read other peoples memories and thoughts.

 

[FloofyNewfie]

Granted, but each time you do you lose half an IQ points worth of intelligence.

I wish I could play basketball professionally.

 

[acuriouslurker]

Granted, but you lost your leg and it's a professional wheelchair basketball.

I wish to not disappoint my parents.

 

[FloofyNewfie]

Granted, you're abducted by an Aliens and they never see you again. They can't be disappointed if you're no longer here. (Hey, your earlier wish came true!)

I wish that I had a YouTube channel with 14.44 million subscribers.

 

[acuriouslurker]

Granted, but the sub count goes up to 14.88 and you get banned for extremism.

I

 

[acuriouslurker]

I

lol, i'll just leave it like that

 

[Ted Danson Machine]

Granted...ez clap

I wish I could go back in time and invest in Bitcoin

 

[MrsShemon]

Granted, back in time you traveled, have fun in the emptyness of space.

I wish I was much more funny than I am.

 

[Ted Danson Machine]

Granted, you turned into me.
I wish I could turn into a wolf

 

[MrsShemon]

Granted, now get over here.

I wish it was easier to tame a wolf.

 

[Ted Danson Machine]

Granted, you now are immobile around wolves and the tame themselves using you.

I wish I had a camera lol

 

[FloofyNewfie]

Granted, but it only has 0.00000001 megapixels.

I wish that I got paid to do nothing all day.

 

[Ted Danson Machine]

Granted, welcome back Mr. President

I wish I were more knowledgeable about topical humor

 

[Deleted member 76481]

You now know everything about tropical humor

I wish I wouldn't make typos

 

[Ted Danson Machine]

Granted. You no longer can use the O button

I wish I didn't have wolves looking through my fridge

 

[Deleted member 76481]

Granted, they are nw hwling inside yur washing machine. Try running it n 40°C

I wish I got my ?️ back

 

[Ted Danson Machine]

Granted, but.......it's actually just another 0

I wish the wolves would just come chill. I'm friendly lol

 

[Deleted member 76481]

Granted, they are n0w chilled inside y0u fridge again

I wish the heatwaves would leave and never came back