My plans went out the window

[Sramichoo]

Well, damn. Cliffhanger. An IRL story of adopting an abandoned puppy and raising her with love and devotion. It's quite the emotional roller-coaster. Quite possibly the best/my favorite thread I've found on here. Can't wait to here the next update.

Happy update...my golden is still alive and doing better than ever. Better still, she's finally heartworm free!

That is great news. Congrats to you and your golden, plus the rest of the family since I'm sure they're happy about it too.

On a side note, I'm honestly wondering if it would be best to get my younger dog spayed. When the two go in heat, they take turns jumping and jumping each other since they no longer can have their sexual needs fulfilled. As much as I am against spaying them, would it be more ethical of me to just do that? I feel like they're almost being tortured when they're in heat.

Ethical to spay them because they're horny?...no. I'd say that, that is an unethical reason to spay.

Spoiler: So I don't derail this by making this a debate about it

I'm sure there are at least a few threads on here (and a lot of other places) that talk about the pros and cons of neutering/spaying, should/shouldn't you do it, etc.
It's a big decision with a lot of variables, especially with females and their possible predisposition for health problems.(Pyo, mammary cancer, etc.) Not to mention the different types of spays available. (OVE, OVH, OSS,)

Spoiler: WSAVA suggests:

• Dogs living with responsible guardians should remain intact as they are able to prevent unwanted breeding by keeping female dogs in heat under direct supervision and prevent the free roaming of male dogs.
  
  
• In rescue shelters or living in situations where unplanned pregnancies can't be avoided, dogs should undergo hormone-sparing sterilization: vasectomies and ovary-sparing hysterectomies.

This protocol ensures that dogs grow up benefiting from sex hormones and avoiding the health problems linked to conventional neutering and spaying.

The time to bring it up is before you get married and have a child. Otherwise unless you walk in on your partner mid sex with an animal you are risking everything.

I agree. It's a decision that should be made long before you consider marriage and starting a family.

"Honey, i'm going to finger our dog to help her get off during heat".

Better yet, suggest she does it.

Hiding your zoo from most people I get, but from your spouse? For the rest of your life? That sucks. That's a big deal. So I figure he should at least try to find out how his wife feels about it. This is a relatively safe way to do that.

I also agree with this but find it might be a little suspicious to her that his dogs have been sexual mature for a long time...and yet, it's only now he's worried about them being sexual frustrated/in need of release? If she brought that up, the only option is to admit you've been pleasing them yourself up until now, or sound like a jackass saying you've never noticed or thought of it before.

 

[amorousdog5]

I also agree with this but find it might be a little suspicious to her that his dogs have been sexual mature for a long time...and yet, it's only now he's worried about them being sexual frustrated/in need of release? If she brought that up, the only option is to admit you've been pleasing them yourself up until now, or sound like a jackass saying you've never noticed or thought of it before.

I honestly don't believe many people would consider it so deeply, and if she did bring up that question I don't see anything suspicious in saying that this is the first time you thought of it. My understanding is that his dogs have only been mature a year or two at most. The people of the world are not on high alert, carefully examining every individual to see if they are a zoophile. Most folks never even think about it.

Simply put, raising this idea once is not nearly enough to raise any serious suspicions unless his wife is an ardent member of some anti-zoo group. I'll grant that he really ought to have talked about this before getting married, but there's no use crying over spilled milk. The best he can do now is carefully feel her out, and yes, abandon the idea of ever telling her if it seems like she could not accept such a thing. But before giving up all hope, an effort should be made.

 

[Sramichoo]

I don't see anything suspicious in saying that this is the first time you thought of it. My understanding is that his dogs have only been mature a year or two at most.

Him: What do you think about helping our dogs get off during their heats?
Her: What makes you think we need to do that?
Him: I feel like they're almost being tortured when they're in heat, because their needs aren't being met and they're humping each other.
Her: Haven't they been sexually mature for years now? I mean, one is like 9 or 10 right? What's different now from then?
Him: "this is the first time I thought of it."
Her:So you've been watching them be "tortured" for years and only now you feel like helping them? i.e., Wtf, you're lying or you're a POS if you're telling the truth.

That's just one random example, but I can't think of anyone that would be asked such an usual question from their SO and not think about it. A, "sure yeah, that's fine" is highly unlikely and the most likely end to the conversation I could see would be, "we can talk to the vet about it." In which case, I don't think many vets would say it's normal or necessary to do it.

Tons of variables and unknowns, but it just seems like bringing it up wouldn't lead anywhere.

Simply put, raising this idea once is not nearly enough to raise any serious suspicions unless his wife is an ardent member of some anti-zoo group.

Agreed. Once is worth a shot.

I'll grant that he really ought to have talked about this before getting married, but there's no use crying over spilled milk. The best he can do now is carefully feel her out, and yes, abandon the idea of ever telling her if it seems like she could not accept such a thing. But before giving up all hope, an effort should be made.

Meant to make this point before but forgot, but once again, I agree. Coulda, shoulda, woulda, don't matter.

 

[Goattobeloved]

Him: What do you think about helping our dogs get off during their heats?
Her: What makes you think we need to do that?
Him: I feel like they're almost being tortured when they're in heat, because their needs aren't being met and they're humping each other.

Just at this point the natural answer would be:

Her: Damn, you might be right, lets call the vet have them spayed ASAP.

Good luck changing her mind

 

[amorousdog5]

Him: What do you think about helping our dogs get off during their heats?
Her: What makes you think we need to do that?
Him: I feel like they're almost being tortured when they're in heat, because their needs aren't being met and they're humping each other.
Her: Haven't they been sexually mature for years now? I mean, one is like 9 or 10 right? What's different now from then?
Him: "this is the first time I thought of it."
Her:So you've been watching them be "tortured" for years and only now you feel like helping them? i.e., Wtf, you're lying or you're a POS if you're telling the truth.

Her: Haven't they been sexually mature for years now? I mean, one is like 9 or 10 right? What's different now from then?
Him: I only just got her last year, so this is only her second heat with me. Honestly it's the first time I'm stopping to think about it.

...yeah, doesn't seem unreasonable to me. But we're on the same page with the other points.

Her: Damn, you might be right, lets call the vet have them spayed ASAP.

This would be a lot more likely, but at this point they've certainly already had the spay talk. He'll have given her his reasons for not having spayed them up until now, so it's not likely something that she'll insist on even if she does suggest it, because she already knows and has accepted that he's against it.

 

[Sramichoo]

Yeah, all speculation until we hear differently. Though if he's committed to "burying" his zoo side. He may not post anymore.

 

[amorousdog5]

Yeah, all speculation until we hear differently. Though if he's committed to "burying" his zoo side. He may not post anymore.

Speculation perhaps, but the only alternative is that they married without ever talking about it despite it being unusual for a person not to spay. In which case she's so carefree a person that she'll not be asking any of the hard questions you suggested earlier, no?

I must admit I do worry that at some point, maybe even already happening, we'll just never hear from Sultry again. He's a good guy, and I'd be sad to see him go. But I guess I also have to be happy if he's doing what's right for him.