Don’t let the social justice warriors here scare you off or her, better yet, don’t let her on here. My girl won’t come on here now after reading some of the nasty shit some of these assholes said when we shared some intimate moments early on.
They sit in their glass house of “THAT bastard is USING those pets like sex toys” They have no clue what’s going on and that this forum is not the place for full disclosure and when some asks a legit and innocent questions any newbie has they throw stones across the internet out of some self loathing or childhood trauma they still can’t accept they are weird and kinky too. Like everyone on this planet.
Now to answer your original question with a little more strategy that I would have wished someone else here told me but I got battered and shamed early on and figured it out on my own.
It’s absolutely possible and loving to help fulfill a sexual desire in this lifestyle with your partner. I sat with this desire for years alone and grew a set of balls and shared it with someone I saw life mate material and now we share this desire, it’s our life.
For someone in your shoes; there’s a number of considerations. I’ll share some that came up for us.
I wanted an adult dog to start, as did my girl, that ultimately didn’t work out and we ended up with puppies. I knew going into this I wanted a pet that we would be sexual with. That was a must have. I’ve had pets most of my life but wasn’t ready or interested or in a relationship where that would work out until recently. So no sex was a deal breaker for us.
That’s not the case for everyone, so know what you want and don’t compromise. I like poking fun at people that compromise their desires because most of them blame their inability to experience those desires as something “outside” their control and they play the victim card, “my pet doesn’t want to have sex with us but I fell in love and we kept him anyway” that’s fine if that’s all you want, but the fact that they are on this forum, and horny about petsex, and have a pet they can’t/don’t have petsex with… I think that’s stupid. But if DEEP down they are happy, “whatever floats their boat.”
Some other thoughts:
1) size matters, bigger is not better - if your gal is at all anxious or safety concerned, get a smaller dog (50-70lbs) not a big one. Also be aware of the dogs energetic state, high energy dogs may naturally jump around a lot and step on her or scratch the shit out of her by accident. Some training and patience helps here. Which is important for any family pet.
2) there’s a lot of hours in the day the pet needs a lot of care, I’m a big believer of behavior and temperament is 50% “baked” and there’s about 50% that can be trained, and certain factors can’t, or at least not by a person without significant training experience. For example we have a lab that is super affectionate, smart as hell, very good motivated and is pretty calm, he’s also more independent and roams around at the park without constantly being my shadow. And we have a Belgian Malnois who is higher energy, also very affectionate, and very much a “pack dog,” he doesn’t go to far from my side when at the dog park. I don’t know how to train the “pack dog” aspect, I think that’s natural or “baked” into the dog or learned at a really young age.
3) older dogs sometimes have baggage, trauma, issues like humans do, we fostered one dog that was sweet as hell but after we got him we started seeing signs of abuse from the previous owner. He was skin and bones when we got him, we nursed him back to health, got him vaccinated. He’d get really stubborn, wasn’t food motivated and was really hard to train. After 3-4 months we gave up. We didn’t love him, he didn’t bond with him like I had with past pets. We tried a professional pet trainer and could get a little better but the commitment and time involved and the bond wasn’t there so we found a divorcee who had experience with big dogs and loves him to death, still sends us photos of them walking and at the beach. This was why went went the puppy route. We struck out several times with adult dogs and are trying this.
I have a do no harm agreement in my human relationships. I do my best to leave my lovers in a better, more resourceful, more embodied, more fulfilled state then when I found them. A version of this translates to the pets we’ve fostered.
This brings up a problem I found. There is no real way to “date” a potential animal companion the way we date other humans. You pretty much need to adopt one and spend some time with it to figure out if the chemistry is right, the temperament, the behavior fits with you and your lifestyle and you have to decide if it’s not a perfect fit, what is good enough? Can some aspect be trained over time. People that say you shouldn’t train your pet to fuck you… bullshit. You train your spouse to be a better lover. You may not even be conscious of it; but she/he is picking up on your breathe, your body movements and responding to it. People and dogs love to please, we WANT to train and be trained for each other. I enjoy authentic desire, authentic lust. If a lover of mine doesn’t express deep desire for me, I will not be interested in them. I didn’t understand that and learned that not all dogs have the desire to mount or be sexual.
So I found the best way to date pets was to foster. I didn’t buy an akc, that may be important too, if I’d dropped $2000-$5000 on a dog and things didn’t work out sexually maybe I would keep him?
Train them some basic obedience, make sure their vaccines are up to date, spend some some time with them, don’t rush things, see where they go.
After some time has passed review your “must haves” and “nice to haves” and make a conscious choice to keep or rehome the pup. Find a good home, do the best you can, sleep well at night that you helped the pup and another family even though it wasn’t a good fit for you and your gal.
Once you get a pup or dog and start getting busy with him, you’ll have a whole mother set of questions if you’re anything like us.
“Whoa, she didn’t like that just a little, she liked it a lot, and confessed to obsessing over it.” Does that shatter your male ego or do you learn the incredible and terrifying truth of feminine desire. That she can out fuck you and six dogs and is insatiable?
