Top things not to say during sex

[Cheekymonkey2021]

Why do you call my dogs name as you orgasm?

 

[Deleted member 76481]

Oh hi mom!

 

[bee18]

Oh, fuck off !

 

[Chiara2003]

I’m glad I had the “operation”…

 

[Duramax96]

Me blindfolded

Is that a fursuit you’re wearing or the dog?

 

[Ted Danson Machine]

You sound just like your mom

 

[Big g]

The rash has nearly gone now

 

[purpleponyman]

calling out your ponys name not the wifes name

 

[Ted Danson Machine]

Wow, this is really helping with that burning feeling I had

 

[Valkiria]

Just "Oops..."

 

[Ted Danson Machine]

Just "Oops..."

Oh yea, that's never a good thing to hear lol

 

[Duramax96]

Oh yea, that's never a good thing to hear lol

Or an emphasized "SHIT!"

 

[Ted Danson Machine]

Or an emphasized "SHIT!"

Depends on the inflection lol
like "Ohhhh SHIIITTT" vs "Oh...SHIT!"

 

[Dlikes2]

Oh... by the way, did I tell you what that rash really is....

 

[Cheekymonkey2021]

Can you pass the dill pickles?

 

[hoedog]

Are you almost there? We need to hurry

 

[CetaceanLover23]

Nah.

 

[Johan Wagner]

You better then your dad

 

[bee18]

Next gear...

 

[Cheekymonkey2021]

Times up?

 

[NewExperiences37]

Your sister is tighter why can't you be more like her?

 

[Chiara2003]

U got something on ur nose

 

[Jindolover]

Calling him/her 'mom' / 'dad' during sex unconsciously. (I think I saw it on Big Bang Theory.)

 

[Chiara2003]

Omg…. That’s sooo cute!

 

[Chiara2003]

It’s jus not hard enough

 

[Chiara2003]

Sorry…. I was totally somewhere else!

 

[Cheekymonkey2021]

Hold my beer...

 

[Chiara2003]

It’s not hard enough

 

[Duramax96]

I know we’ve been having sex for an hour, but I came the moment I stuck it in…. I just didn’t want to tell you

 

[FloofyNewfie]

What do you mean it burns and hurts?? Used 10w-30 motor oil makes for fantastic lube!