Top things not to say during sex

[bayareacpl]

1) Dad is going to be so jealous if he finds out, Uncle Joe.

2) You’re way better at this than your brother/friend.

 

[Chiara2003]

Are u cold?

 

[LoneWolfen]

Fucking whith you Is like to throw a broom in an empty hallway.

 

[Vermilion]

1, 2, 3...... FIRE!!!

 

[doublelemon]

I gotta fart?

 

[KenGinMo]

I thought it was just gas, do you need a towel?

 

[k9Queen]

Hurry up, your Uber is almost here.

 

[Goattobeloved]

Classic one:
"Keep sucking. (this time) I'll warn you before I cum"

 

[Duramax96]

Me: Damn you got a big pussy. Damn you got a big pussy.

Why did you say it twice?

Me: I didn’t

 

[saddlebum66]

No..
Nooooo......
Noooooooooooooooooh!

 

[Vermilion]

Boom, gonorrhea, baby!!!

 

[FloofyNewfie]

"2.2 seconds, well I'll be damned, I broke my previous record!"

 

[K_9River_rat]

Can you taste your sister on it?

 

[Horsefan69]

You're adopted

 

[SweetyK9]

"Honey, i've got VIH!" When you are cumming.

 

[Txcowboy23]

My aunts pussy is tighter than yours

 

[saddlebum66]

This will hurt ME more than it'll hurt you....I think.

 

[BruceD77]

damn, all those were funnier than shit.
i couldn't stop laughing. my sides hurt now. i even have the after giggles. tomorrow im going to be thinking of some and start laughing out of nowhere. you all rock...

 

[Ted Danson Machine]

I don't use birth control

Sweet neither do I

 

[justadsmguy]

Did you cum?

 

[saddlebum66]

Awww, Mooooom.....!

 

[Dutch35]

Wait... You said we were out of peanut butter... But where did the jar go?!

 

[Intriguedbyu]

Hope that pelican worked.

 

[Intriguedbyu]

damn, your mom was right said she was tighter.

 

[Dutch35]

Cancel lunch with my wife tomorrow..

 

[saddlebum66]

Oh...that? Never seen a buggy whip before?

 

[K_9River_rat]

Awww, Mooooom.....!

Gold medal!!

 

[saddlebum66]

Gold medal!!

No it wasnt....she was barely even trying

 

[ZooDonna]

Who let the dog out?

 

[nessaknotts]

It looked bigger in the picture.