Top things not to say during sex

[StarbardRed9]

Mulligan?

 

[Puhp]

Hang on, I think I lost my watch in here... here.... here... here...

 

[blackstallion93]

It was like throwing a hotdog down a hallway

 

[Hotdognationking]

Sorry, I usually cum by now.

 

[longhairedviking]

That’s not how your grandad does it…

 

[StarbardRed9]

4/10, your sister was better.

 

[AllKnottedUpIn210]

I love your lingere, does it come in kid sizes?

 

[StarbardRed9]

You're much better than the simulations.

 

[Puhp]

Your mom was right.

 

[Chiara2003]

Ur auto warranty is about to expire…

 

[Ted Danson Machine]

I think I'm about to shit

 

[StarbardRed9]

Anyone ever tell you that you sound like a deaf seal with those noises?

 

[Chiara2003]

Shut up!…. I can nooo thinking ?

 

[AllKnottedUpIn210]

If you're not good enough fr your brother, you're not good enough for me!

 

[Puhp]

um, what's this Valtrex for?

 

[Ted Danson Machine]

um, what's this Valtrex for?

winner

 

[amorousdog5]

Sorry, I was just expecting something very different when my buddy told me you were a bitch.

 

[Puhp]

"whoops"

 

[Godhorse77]

Just the tip madam

 

[suzyk9]

Is it in yet?

 

[Chiara2003]

No refunds

 

[Ted Danson Machine]

No refunds

But, I have my receipt!

 

[StarbardRed9]

No, no, we went over this...the crocs stay on the whole time.

 

[stumpy bill]

can't believe I've stooped this low

 

[Ted Danson Machine]

can't believe I've stooped this low

that's what happens when you bang midgets

 

[stumpy bill]

that's what happens when you bang midgets

A midget was way higher on the ladder...

 

[Ted Danson Machine]

A midget war way higher on the ladder...

I once paid a midget hooker to go up on me

 

[Ted Danson Machine]

I haven't been fucked this hard since grade school.

What is the first dam rule of Fight Club??

 

[goodboy1uk]

Can you pass me the TV remote.

 

[Ted Danson Machine]

Hurry, we need to finish before the cops show up