Top things not to say during sex

[Erja]

Fuck You

 

[knotinterested]

Thanks for nothing.........

 

[Bigpaws_Bear]

Yer not the only one who needs some cock.. I'm calling your brother.

 

[Austral]

Did you know that dog's body temperature is 2°C higher than yours?

 

[DLMEM202]

What's that?

 

[Austral]

I hope you have immunity against gonorrhea

 

[Furf2b2b]

OMG !!! GRAND CANYON 2 , it's that BIG HOLE !!

 

[Erja]

My name isnt Fred

 

[Furf2b2b]

HI , I'M the MILKMAN

 

[knotinterested]

I feel sorry for you - this is a pity fuck not the beginning of a relationship

 

[Erja]

Next time please fuck the turtle

 

[knotinterested]

No I did not fuck your father - I only gave him a blowjob

 

[Erja]

Sorry, i tought you past away

 

[Bigpaws_Bear]

Lay back down, I lost my wristwatch in there someplace.

 

[doc]

This one happened to me. We met for the first time and as I was ready to slide in her, she grabbed my cock outside of her pussy with her hand and she said "this means we are dating, right?"

???That is REALLY funny!!

 

[Fiesta]

When getting head from a girl: Your brother did it better

 

[doc]

“We're all fucked. It helps to remember that.”
― George Carlin, Brain Droppings

 

[CetaceanLover23]

“We're all fucked. It helps to remember that.”
― George Carlin, Brain Droppings

I LOVE GEORGE!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[doc]

I LOVE GEORGE!!!!!!!!!!!

I LOVE GEORGE TOO . . . He truly was an American Philosopher. I could read or listen to him for hours.

 

[Furf2b2b]

IS that CUM running from your NOSE ?

 

[CetaceanLover23]

I LOVE GEORGE TOO . . . He truly was an American Philosopher. I could read or listen to him for hours.

I have his HBO specials recorded on VHS.

 

[CetaceanLover23]

Guy: Oops! My condom broke!
Girl: When?
Guy: About 10 minutes ago.
Girl: Well, did you cum yet?!
Guy: About 3 times now, yes.
*Loud gunfire*

--------------------------

*"Authorities say the man who was shot 99 times broke his condom during some steamy hot fucking. I know that because I watched through their window. The woman who shot him is currently in jail being fucked by 5 horny dolphins as revenge. I am Chris Christie channel 5 news. Back to you Dawn and the new guy"*

 

[Bigpaws_Bear]

Man, "Damn your wet, you sure cum a lot."
Woman, "Damn, my water broke."

 

[Bigpaws_Bear]

OMG, are you actually eating my toenails?

 

[Furf2b2b]

SO ? YOU love eat TOE JAM'S TOO ?

 

[Casey1010]

"Wanna grab the dog and make this a threesome?"

I thought we were supposed to be saying bad things to say in bed....

 

[Casey1010]

When does your sister turn 18 again?

 

[Furf2b2b]

DAMN , A BED SPRING just Poked MY ASS !!!!

 

[Fiesta]

You remind me of my dead ex

 

[knotinterested]

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh...........................ok we'll try