L
Llandefie
Guest
*hugs*
I completely understand what you're going through. I've been just like this, trying to be with humans because it's "normal", getting obsessive and suicidal when starved of animal company, getting pissed off at the world and how it holds you back. It's fucking shit, everything.
I've sought out pet sitting and shelter work as a means of getting close to dogs and horses. I'd like to be more diverse and I'm more interested in horses than dogs, but you take what you can get. I've had a few exciting encounters, but nothing much, and that frustrates me. For the longest time I thought my sexuality wasn't real because I wasn't even near any horses when I first discovered it. I tried being in a relationship with someone online in an attempt to find some escape, but it didn't work. I don't have patience for humans. I don't find them attractive at all. But show me even just the face of a stallion and my heart fucking melts into molten slurry. I love hairy hooves, too. Something about them is just so adorable XD
Please, please don't hesitate to PM me if you need hugs and support. I've felt a lot of what you're feeling, and what little I've managed to do hasn't changed much. I fucking moved to the opposite side of the world and away from my parents just to rot in solitude in the vain hope that I'd find a way to be around horses more. I'm suicidal every other day, and while I haven't made any serious attempts or put myself in any real danger, gosh damn have I tried to tear my skin off more than a few times. I can't promise everything will be alright, but I can be there to cry about it with you
Aaargh, Horse, that's my dream! Stop being such an ideal person to me XD
I completely understand what you're going through. I've been just like this, trying to be with humans because it's "normal", getting obsessive and suicidal when starved of animal company, getting pissed off at the world and how it holds you back. It's fucking shit, everything.
I've sought out pet sitting and shelter work as a means of getting close to dogs and horses. I'd like to be more diverse and I'm more interested in horses than dogs, but you take what you can get. I've had a few exciting encounters, but nothing much, and that frustrates me. For the longest time I thought my sexuality wasn't real because I wasn't even near any horses when I first discovered it. I tried being in a relationship with someone online in an attempt to find some escape, but it didn't work. I don't have patience for humans. I don't find them attractive at all. But show me even just the face of a stallion and my heart fucking melts into molten slurry. I love hairy hooves, too. Something about them is just so adorable XD
Please, please don't hesitate to PM me if you need hugs and support. I've felt a lot of what you're feeling, and what little I've managed to do hasn't changed much. I fucking moved to the opposite side of the world and away from my parents just to rot in solitude in the vain hope that I'd find a way to be around horses more. I'm suicidal every other day, and while I haven't made any serious attempts or put myself in any real danger, gosh damn have I tried to tear my skin off more than a few times. I can't promise everything will be alright, but I can be there to cry about it with you
So i accepted it, and had a new dream. A dream of land with many different animals and zoo friends. A cottage on the prarie, and a life of peaceful simplicity. Since i dont have human intimate relationships, im now freed from that burden. I have more time to study and meditate on deeper things. I don't have to work as hard since its just myself and my animals.
Aaargh, Horse, that's my dream! Stop being such an ideal person to me XD