Deep quotes you heard or made up?

This is from a hentai discord server im in: "Post nut clarity only exists if you have morals." Sadly i'll never know who said the truest of words
 
"Hard work beats talent when talent doesn't work hard."
That's what it said in the bathroom at my former high school.
Then someone peeled off some of the letters until it said:
"---- ---- beat- -alen- when -alen- doesn't work ----."
 
"The world we are told was made for man. A presumption that is totally unsupported by facts. There is a very numerous class of men who are cast into painful fits of astonishment whenever they find anything, living or dead, in all God's universe, which they cannot eat or render in some way what they call 'useful' to themselves..." ~ John Muir
 
"I am known by many names. I've been called The final Cause, The Supreme Judge, The Infinite Spirit, but you can just call me God."
 
It is better to piss in the sink, than to sink in the piss.

~ Diogenes probably
That's just Saturday night at the local pub. (in Australia alcohol is often called piss) So after you sink enough piss you tend to get a bit confused about where is appropriate to recycle your drinks, so pissing in the sink might well seem like a good idea.
 
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Better stack the odds then and get married at a make your own sundae bar.
The quote is from a Big Bang Theory episode, and Sheldon was telling Howard why he should have a make your own sundae bar at his wedding reception like another professor at the university did.
 
"I heard my mom coming into my room while I was going to town on a sandwich, so I quickly put my penis into a dog instead, because that would be easier to explain."
 
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