Of course! No judgment whatsoever from me, I still feel that shame and probably always will. But I also understand that sexual urges and attraction are not something that can be overwritten or erased. There came a moment where I made a conscious decision that I needed to be with someone who shared what I felt inside instead of trying to stuff it down and pretend it doesn’t exist.
We don’t all get to have that luxury, I understand. There may be families, relationships, and other obligations which we don’t want to forsake for our desires. But we also don’t get to choose who and what we are attracted to. It is a process that is more complex than anyone of us knows. I made specific choices in my life to allow myself the freedom to make this choice, put it into motion, and enjoy the fruits of my labor. So far, this relationship has made me feel very good about myself — even though there are plenty of reasons for me not to, according to the rest of the world. I wanted someone to share this with and I’m thankful for this site for making it possible.