I was young when it first happened.
A glance here, a look there. Why was I feeling strange things while looking at dogs and horses? At the time, with no reference, I thought it was 'normal'. I would come to find out, society would see it as anything but.
It was when we had our first computer that I first discovered zoo porn. The old BeastForum had so much. It quite literally changed my life, to know that I wasn't alone in my struggle, to know that there were others out there just like me, to know a mating like this was even POSSIBLE. So much changed that day.
I realized I had been a Zoo my entire life.
Playing as an animal as a child, always watching Disney films with animals in them, preferring the companionship of even a stuffed animal over a human sometimes. A part of me always leaned towards the 'wild'.
But to know that somewhere out there, there were others like me, like this, that I wasn't a freak... it changed my life.
There was guilt. Oh, there was guilt. I felt guilty every day of my life once I found out how people truly felt about those who are like us. It was so natural to me I never considered the other side until I read responses for myself.
I even tried to kill myself over it, how guilty I felt that I looked at animals in such a 'disgusting' way. Having such hate for myself for something I couldn't change for a while ruined my life. I had an abusive childhood, a whole lot more going on that made me depressed, but it didn't make things any easier to come out to myself as an 'animal fucker' and even though I knew for years I denied.
This is why I want to explain why this community is important to me.
More to come in Part 2, explaining WHY I am a zoo and WHY I am proud to be one.
A glance here, a look there. Why was I feeling strange things while looking at dogs and horses? At the time, with no reference, I thought it was 'normal'. I would come to find out, society would see it as anything but.
It was when we had our first computer that I first discovered zoo porn. The old BeastForum had so much. It quite literally changed my life, to know that I wasn't alone in my struggle, to know that there were others out there just like me, to know a mating like this was even POSSIBLE. So much changed that day.
I realized I had been a Zoo my entire life.
Playing as an animal as a child, always watching Disney films with animals in them, preferring the companionship of even a stuffed animal over a human sometimes. A part of me always leaned towards the 'wild'.
But to know that somewhere out there, there were others like me, like this, that I wasn't a freak... it changed my life.
There was guilt. Oh, there was guilt. I felt guilty every day of my life once I found out how people truly felt about those who are like us. It was so natural to me I never considered the other side until I read responses for myself.
I even tried to kill myself over it, how guilty I felt that I looked at animals in such a 'disgusting' way. Having such hate for myself for something I couldn't change for a while ruined my life. I had an abusive childhood, a whole lot more going on that made me depressed, but it didn't make things any easier to come out to myself as an 'animal fucker' and even though I knew for years I denied.
This is why I want to explain why this community is important to me.
More to come in Part 2, explaining WHY I am a zoo and WHY I am proud to be one.
