I was young when it first happened.

A glance here, a look there. Why was I feeling strange things while looking at dogs and horses? At the time, with no reference, I thought it was 'normal'. I would come to find out, society would see it as anything but.

It was when we had our first computer that I first discovered zoo porn. The old BeastForum had so much. It quite literally changed my life, to know that I wasn't alone in my struggle, to know that there were others out there just like me, to know a mating like this was even POSSIBLE. So much changed that day.

I realized I had been a Zoo my entire life.

Playing as an animal as a child, always watching Disney films with animals in them, preferring the companionship of even a stuffed animal over a human sometimes. A part of me always leaned towards the 'wild'.

But to know that somewhere out there, there were others like me, like this, that I wasn't a freak... it changed my life.

There was guilt. Oh, there was guilt. I felt guilty every day of my life once I found out how people truly felt about those who are like us. It was so natural to me I never considered the other side until I read responses for myself.

I even tried to kill myself over it, how guilty I felt that I looked at animals in such a 'disgusting' way. Having such hate for myself for something I couldn't change for a while ruined my life. I had an abusive childhood, a whole lot more going on that made me depressed, but it didn't make things any easier to come out to myself as an 'animal fucker' and even though I knew for years I denied.

This is why I want to explain why this community is important to me.

More to come in Part 2, explaining WHY I am a zoo and WHY I am proud to be one.
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petite-pony
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  1. Part 2

    Long awaited part 2 :) I knew I was zoo from a very young age. Maybe itw as mistreatment, maybe...

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I love hearing your have come to grips with your guilt and feelings - I am always interested in how people started down this road. Looking forward to part 2!
The zoo community needs more female perspectives on the zoo lifestyle. It's very refreshing to read real life events that apply to a lot of zoosexual's from a woman's point of view. Keep writing and I'll keep reading! Thanks
You're wonderful, hope we can chat soon...
Good to know others felt the same
petite-pony
petite-pony
Always good to know you're not alone <3
The truth is not always our friend. While I never actually felt guilty for these feelings, I did struggle (and still do) knowing that most people around me would find my lifestyle abhorrent. I'll keep an eye out for the next installment :-)
petite-pony
petite-pony
Coming soon is part 2!! I'm sure you still struggle with that part of it, heck I do too, but you're fine as you are and nothing will change that :)
Waiting for part 2
petite-pony
petite-pony
i'm writing it now it's just taking a while :) because i want to make sure it's great
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