Hi everyone
Just wondering if anyone else goes through moments of guilt about their fetish? I have moments where I feel really down that I do this behind my partners back, that looking at animal porn is wrong, that Im taking advantage of our dog, it seems to go through varying degrees. Im even sometimes convinced that after I have moments where I am really into it and being really naughty I then have periods of really bad luck, like something bad happens and the universe is punishing me. Which I know is silly, but then I have thoughts of like, is it really?
And then I kind of try to stop, which lasts a week, two, tops, and then Im so horny and so turned on that I take major risks like pretending to go to the kitchen in the middle of the night for a glass of water just so I can let our dog lick me for a few seconds. And I feel so turned on 24/7 and free for a while, and then will have another time where I am guilty again.
Covid lock downs seem to affect it as well. Being home all the time now I am SO turned on I just want to spread my legs for our boy and I want to share it openly with my husband to stop the guilt from setting in but I am so scared, yet horny.
It's just a constant up and down of wanting it, wanting acceptance, to being ashamed, to trying to ignore it, to then being so turned on I cant think of anything else and can not control it.
Sometimes I think I am going crazy