Top things not to say during sex

[Beasttom]

"I know we just met but can you drive me to the doctor tomorrow for my appointment? Don't worry, I'm like, 75% sure it's an all-clear"

 

[Bigpaws_Bear]

"I wiped a booger on your pillow."

 

[Furf2b2b]

Dude ? Your dick is Dripping Green Slim !!!

 

[basseybber]

somebody!! save the whales

 

[Pillar]

Show some respect, bitch! (Or DO you say that? Maybe I gotta get my BDSM on ?)

 

[Furf2b2b]

Oh Pinocchio ? that's MY ASS !!

 

[oldgoat75]

The size of yours gives ''Bottom''a whole new meaning

 

[saddlebum66]

Darling, I have good news and bad news....the GOOD news is....its not known to be fatal......

 

[lilfarmsluts]

Are you in yet?

 

[saddlebum66]

Am I OUT yet?

 

[oldgoat75]

hold your nose,,,big fart coming

 

[FloofyNewfie]

It's your own damn fault that I keep losing an erection. You have a decent body, but have a butterface looking like a komodo dragon!

 

[saddlebum66]

Ummmm....nooo....thats not a board strapped across my ass...nope....why do you ask..?

 

[Kristy]

So, what's on TV...

 

[draco7215]

Does it always take this long?

 

[oldgoat75]

no teeth,,no teeth for fucks sake

 

[Bigpaws_Bear]

"Whose daddies girl, yeahhhh, good puppy.....clean daddy up now... "

 

[Furf2b2b]

YOU my daddy ? BAAA baaa BAA

 

[Andyan]

Where am I?

 

[Miss_Rachel]

That's one hell of a bogey up your nose......

 

[Furf2b2b]

SO ? YOU are Into NOSE Fucking then !! MMM in THE Left or Right ???

 

[Pillar]

OMG these last few comments made my night, especially @FloofyNewfie's comment ?

 

[FloofyNewfie]

no teeth,,no teeth for fucks sake

No teeth = One hell of a blowjob! Lol

 

[Reconscope]

stranger danger

 

[Miss_Rachel]

If you don't like it, there's plenty of room under the patio............

 

[Deleted member 76481]

Hurry up, would you?

 

[oldgoat75]

i'm tired, &bored lets finish another time

 

[FloofyNewfie]

Him: I see that you're an old cougar. So I don't have to worry about getting you pregnant.

Her: I'm only 28!

Him: Holy hell! Father time was not kind to you! Err... umm... You still wanna smash?

 

[Bigpaws_Bear]

Shaddap, yer not supposed to be talking with your mouth full.

 

[oldgoat75]

just going to put this pillow over your face ,I get more pleasure from my victim,,er i mean lover,,struggling to breath & bucking around under me