Tell it to parents?

Katelyn said:
Normally, people don't talk to their parents about their sex lives. You know they are going to see this as a sex thing and not a relationship thing. There is no reason to tell them apart from your own personal validation. You will only risk hurting yourself, and throwing yourself in the clink. What will you expect their reactions to be? Extremely low chance that they will be cool about it, and even astronomically lower chance that they'll be like "WOW SOMEONE ELSE TOO?"

Find your personal validation somewhere else, even here.
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I don’t think anyone could have said this any better! 100% agree
 
My advice would be don’t tell them. I’ve been active a long time. Long before my wife. I’m confident she knows about my equine female affairs but she acts like she doesn’t know. She loves me and I think she just accepts it. I’m sure she has smelled mare on me many times over the years when we slept in the same bed. We now sleep in separate beds because of snoring and we just sleep better that way. I’m sure she has come downstairs to my room at some point late at night wanting laid and I wasn’t there because I was in the barn or pasture balls deep in a mare.
But I do my best not to get caught by her because I’m sure she doesn’t want to have that discussion or have it in her face. I just keep it on the down low. We still fuck regularly so at least she isn’t so disgusted that she doesn’t want me laying her.
I just think it’s best to keep something that taboo and frankly disgusting to most people to yourself. If it blows up it will make the time you are with your animals less enjoyable as you will be dealing with some serious emotions that will stick in your head even during intimacy.
 
Katelyn said:
Normally, people don't talk to their parents about their sex lives. You know they are going to see this as a sex thing and not a relationship thing. There is no reason to tell them apart from your own personal validation. You will only risk hurting yourself, and throwing yourself in the clink. What will you expect their reactions to be? Extremely low chance that they will be cool about it, and even astronomically lower chance that they'll be like "WOW SOMEONE ELSE TOO?"

Find your personal validation somewhere else, even here.
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Elsewhere on the forum is a "did your parents ever know you were playing hide-the-weenie with rover" thread. Like I said there, so far as I know, my parents went to their graves without knowing if I even *HAD* a sex life, let alone any details about it if I did possess such a thing. Not so much as make and model, so to speak.

The idea of popping up and telling them - however carefully or poetically, or round-aboutly, or any other "ly" - that I fuck and get fucked by dogs, love my mares to pieces, and don't mind fucking anything else that shows willing and is physically compatible never occurred to me. Looking back, I can see signs that make me think such a revelation would have gone *REALLY* badly for all involved.
 
The more people you pull into your sphere of awareness the more complicated things will become. It is stressful not being able to share this because we are the most hated group in existence but the stress of having to maintain your family's respect for you once they find out will be even more stressful. What people do not know will not hurt them, but what others know about you can ruin you. My advice is to keep it to yourself. Your life is complicated enough.
 
Our daughter came to us as zoo exclusive, however when she did so she literally was on the verge of suicide, she thought she was a freak. I would like to think other parents would have dealt with the same understanding and compassion but it is highly doubtful. Unless you are suffering mentally and emotionally I would say that your private life and sex life should remsin private, not for others to know about or judge you on.
 
072mf said:
Our daughter came to us as zoo exclusive, however when she did so she literally was on the verge of suicide, she thought she was a freak. I would like to think other parents would have dealt with the same understanding and compassion but it is highly doubtful. Unless you are suffering mentally and emotionally I would say that your private life and sex life should remsin private, not for others to know about or judge you on.
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Just curious.. As a parent of a daughter who came out to you, were you zoos also or did you find this forum afterwards to help understand and support your daughter’s situation?
 
072mf said:
We were zoos although our daughter didn't know. Thats why we are probably re acceptin nd understanding.
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I envy your daughter.
Unfortunately, my parents are not zoos. My mental state is starting to sink. I don't like coming home (I live with my parents) every day questions about children, about a girlfriend. I'm not even happy with the girls (with my two mares) now. I love them, but lately I've been mentally fucked. I don't know what to do next. I am aware that one day I will be left alone with horses only. My friends have girlfriends, children. Gradually, my friends disappear from my life and I am left alone. Not alone. With my mares. But they don't talk to you. They can't hear your problems. It's complicated. I'm sorry about English. I use a translator and it's bullshit.
 
Jofec, please don't tell your parents! They love you and you don't want to jeopardise that bond. I am thirty soon and I will never have children. My parents have both passed now and I am the end of the line, but I know I shall never have kids. I don't know if it's a shame or anything, but it is a conscious decision. One day, life may change for me, I am open to whatever comes my way, and you should be too.... Please don't tell your parents though, they are very unlikely to understand.
 
Pretty_Vixen said:
Jofec, please don't tell your parents! They love you and you don't want to jeopardise that bond. I am thirty soon and I will never have children. My parents have both passed now and I am the end of the line, but I know I shall never have kids. I don't know if it's a shame or anything, but it is a conscious decision. One day, life may change for me, I am open to whatever comes my way, and you should be too.... Please don't tell your parents though, they are very unlikely to understand.
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Couldn't agree more. Totally right.
 
Jofec said:
I envy your daughter.
Unfortunately, my parents are not zoos. My mental state is starting to sink. I don't like coming home (I live with my parents) every day questions about children, about a girlfriend. I'm not even happy with the girls (with my two mares) now. I love them, but lately I've been mentally fucked. I don't know what to do next. I am aware that one day I will be left alone with horses only. My friends have girlfriends, children. Gradually, my friends disappear from my life and I am left alone. Not alone. With my mares. But they don't talk to you. They can't hear your problems. It's complicated. I'm sorry about English. I use a translator and it's bullshit.
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Your mares might not talk, but don't underestimate their ability to listen. I pour my heart and soul out to my boy, stuff I wouldnteven tell hubby, he listens, he might not understand or give answers but he listens. If you need to chat I am here for you.
 
As said before, you know them better than any of us. Personally, I would refrain from telling to them. I fear it would likely do more harm than good as I imagine they would not be understanding of the situation. If they were, it would likely be a veneer of courtesy for your and they would struggle to understand.

I imagine they would always be accepting of you, but they would never really understand your orientation. Let sleeping dogs lie and just say that you have no interest in having a (human) family. A lie (if it must be told and then as a protection of self and others) is best told when it is simple, as close to the truth as possible, and at best, when not a lie but a lack of detail within the truth itself.

I wish you luck .... and remember...you always have an understanding family here :gsd_love::husky_love:
 
Jofec said:
I envy your daughter.
Unfortunately, my parents are not zoos. My mental state is starting to sink. I don't like coming home (I live with my parents) every day questions about children, about a girlfriend. I'm not even happy with the girls (with my two mares) now. I love them, but lately I've been mentally fucked. I don't know what to do next. I am aware that one day I will be left alone with horses only. My friends have girlfriends, children. Gradually, my friends disappear from my life and I am left alone. Not alone. With my mares. But they don't talk to you. They can't hear your problems. It's complicated. I'm sorry about English. I use a translator and it's bullshit.
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Can you make friends with fellow zoos—ideally zoos who have animal companions themselves?
 
072mf said:
Our daughter came to us as zoo exclusive, however when she did so she literally was on the verge of suicide, she thought she was a freak. I would like to think other parents would have dealt with the same understanding and compassion but it is highly doubtful. Unless you are suffering mentally and emotionally I would say that your private life and sex life should remsin private, not for others to know about or judge you on.
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Man I wish there were more people like you! It's sad because many children don't feel comfortable enough to have those honest talks with their parents or trusted guardians! And worse yet when they do open up only to be chastised and criticized and judged to the point they might consider self harm! That would be the opposite of your situation it appears obviously...but it had reached such an extreme point!
its very pleasant to hear that you were able to communicate with your daughter and hope she is doing well or at least better since having that conversation and opening up to you both!

I agree that if there's no need to share or talk about your private matters you shouldn't lol
but honesty is the best and healthier too !
So I would still suggest that you encourage her to embrace self love and acceptance of oneself and to not worry so much about what others think!
Y'all accept and love her the same still and the opinion of her parents should be important than that of others!
Freak is just another way of saying unique to me lol but seriously it's all a perspective and opinion, and the latter we should all be free to have our own of!
 
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