Tell it to parents?

J

Jofec

Guest
Hi, I need some advice.
I've been feeling lost lately.
My parents keep asking me when I would start a family and when I would have a girlfriend and children.
I have a girlfriend ... my mare. I even take her home, my mom loves her.
Unfortunately, I'm zoo exclusive, so the baby and girlfriend probably won't be. I don't know if it's a good idea to tell them I'm a zoo. I'm afraid to break relationships. That they would imagine me fucking a mare. That would be bad. I don't know what to do next, but I would probably be very relieved if I told them.
 
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i would say go ahead and tell them but maybe ease them into it just every now and then talk about the science or moral discussions get the idea of zoo into their head. Hopefully that would help them be more understanding about it and less likely to be confused or worried. if you do end up telling them i wish you luck and hey maybe they'll be pro zoo!
 
If they ever ask directly about zoofilia then answer honestly, but i wouldnt bring it up on my own.
Its presented to them all the time and they choose to ignore so let them.
 
You know your parents in particular better than anyone here is going to, so I won't say that you should or shouldn't. However, I've gone through your post history to get a little more information about the situation.

To stick to the basics, you're in your twenties, and last dated as a teenager. You've told your ex-girlfriend, and are still on friendly terms with her. Your father has joked about it, but it's unlikely he thought anything about his jokes was true.

So, in terms of finances and basic ability to live, you are (I think) independent, so telling them won't do something like getting you kicked out of the house or getting them to sell your mare. The only consequences here are to your relationship with your parents. You could stay quiet forever, but if they keep asking about grandchildren, you could simply say you don't want them. At that point, if they keep asking why, it's up to you whether it's important for them to know how you feel about your mare. Without telling him, you will always be a little tense and guarded around them.

As far as their reaction goes, I couldn't begin to guess. At worst, they'd call the authorities, but you would know better than anyone else whether they thought it was a good idea to have you jailed for something which hurts no one. More likely, it would be a private, emotional reaction. Sadness? Anger? Confusion? Indifference? Relief? Positivity? A sense of humor about it? You can get a better idea about it by joking about it, or bringing up news articles, and if the reaction is extremely negative, keep quiet. But most likely, you won't know unless you tell them.

I've told my mother about it, a few years ago, in a moment of depression and despair. She was more shocked than anything, but she still loves me, and our relationship is more or less as it was, except for the occasional joke by me or by her about an attractive dog we see. But my mother is not yours, and I could not say that my case is like yours at all. I'm just letting you know that it won't always result in shouting and crying and being disowned.
 
Kynophile said:
You know your parents in particular better than anyone here is going to, so I won't say that you should or shouldn't. However, I've gone through your post history to get a little more information about the situation.

To stick to the basics, you're in your twenties, and last dated as a teenager. You've told your ex-girlfriend, and are still on friendly terms with her. Your father has joked about it, but it's unlikely he thought anything about his jokes was true.

So, in terms of finances and basic ability to live, you are (I think) independent, so telling them won't do something like getting you kicked out of the house or getting them to sell your mare. The only consequences here are to your relationship with your parents. You could stay quiet forever, but if they keep asking about grandchildren, you could simply say you don't want them. At that point, if they keep asking why, it's up to you whether it's important for them to know how you feel about your mare. Without telling him, you will always be a little tense and guarded around them.

As far as their reaction goes, I couldn't begin to guess. At worst, they'd call the authorities, but you would know better than anyone else whether they thought it was a good idea to have you jailed for something which hurts no one. More likely, it would be a private, emotional reaction. Sadness? Anger? Confusion? Indifference? Relief? Positivity? A sense of humor about it? You can get a better idea about it by joking about it, or bringing up news articles, and if the reaction is extremely negative, keep quiet. But most likely, you won't know unless you tell them.

I've told my mother about it, a few years ago, in a moment of depression and despair. She was more shocked than anything, but she still loves me, and our relationship is more or less as it was, except for the occasional joke by me or by her about an attractive dog we see. But my mother is not yours, and I could not say that my case is like yours at all. I'm just letting you know that it won't always result in shouting and crying and being disowned.
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Thank you for your extensive analysis! It must have taken a lot of time. You're probably right about everything. My mother certainly wouldn't send the authorities to me. Rather, I am afraid she will be disgusted. After all, for many people, sex with animals can be disgusting. The idea of pushing a penis into an animal vagina.
 
Jofec said:
Thank you for your extensive analysis! It must have taken a lot of time. You're probably right about everything. My mother certainly wouldn't send the authorities to me. Rather, I am afraid she will be disgusted. After all, for many people, sex with animals can be disgusting. The idea of pushing a penis into an animal vagina.
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Oh, it probably is, to her. And if it hurts her that much, you may be better off not telling her. I once told a friend, and then she later said she had nightmares about it.
 
Well, I didn't know at the time, but she was the sort of person who thinks of dogs as furbabies and reads ecofeminist tracts. She went off and looked into it from that perspective, found some horror stories about rape (which is horrible, and which some authors focus on), and then had nightmares.
 
Kynophile said:
Well, I didn't know at the time, but she was the sort of person who thinks of dogs as furbabies and reads ecofeminist tracts. She went off and looked into it from that perspective, found some horror stories about rape (which is horrible, and which some authors focus on), and then had nightmares.
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well cant blame her looking at it that way.
 
Kynophile said:
You know your parents in particular better than anyone here is going to, so I won't say that you should or shouldn't. However, I've gone through your post history to get a little more information about the situation.

To stick to the basics, you're in your twenties, and last dated as a teenager. You've told your ex-girlfriend, and are still on friendly terms with her. Your father has joked about it, but it's unlikely he thought anything about his jokes was true.

So, in terms of finances and basic ability to live, you are (I think) independent, so telling them won't do something like getting you kicked out of the house or getting them to sell your mare. The only consequences here are to your relationship with your parents. You could stay quiet forever, but if they keep asking about grandchildren, you could simply say you don't want them. At that point, if they keep asking why, it's up to you whether it's important for them to know how you feel about your mare. Without telling him, you will always be a little tense and guarded around them.

As far as their reaction goes, I couldn't begin to guess. At worst, they'd call the authorities, but you would know better than anyone else whether they thought it was a good idea to have you jailed for something which hurts no one. More likely, it would be a private, emotional reaction. Sadness? Anger? Confusion? Indifference? Relief? Positivity? A sense of humor about it? You can get a better idea about it by joking about it, or bringing up news articles, and if the reaction is extremely negative, keep quiet. But most likely, you won't know unless you tell them.

I've told my mother about it, a few years ago, in a moment of depression and despair. She was more shocked than anything, but she still loves me, and our relationship is more or less as it was, except for the occasional joke by me or by her about an attractive dog we see. But my mother is not yours, and I could not say that my case is like yours at all. I'm just letting you know that it won't always result in shouting and crying and being disowned.
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Yours is a very logical statement with which I am in total agreement.
 
What do you stand to gain from telling them and what do you stand to lose?

As someone who did, it added some awkwardness for a few years, but largely didn't change anything for the better.
I'd suggest you ignore their invasion silently, failing that, you could tell them that your personal life is not for discussion, but I encourage you to not share that with them. It's really none of their business and I'm willing to bet they won't understand.
 
I told my best friend. She was like eww dood shut up but in a funny way. We're still the same as before.

Its very risky though.

Hope for the best
 
Im a "carry it to the grave" type. There are a MILLION reasons why people dont have families or have kids, best excuse is just "havent found the right person."

I personally dont understand some peoples need to be open or discuss their sexual preferences. It doesnt involve them, doesnt affect them, they dont control or dictate it, their opinions dont matter one way or another, it opens yourself undue risk or judgement, and its not going to stop you from doing or feeling the way you do about your lifestyle.

I personally feel that if you need to tell someone something private about your life for their acceptance, then there's something about that thing that you yourself havent accepted or feel guilty for, which is a side effect for lack of personal acceptance.

I understand what youre going through because my mom does the same thing. It can be annoying and hard to keep explaining, but its honestly better than the alternative in my mind.
 
waarom170 said:
Dont ever tell them, they will not understand and they will always wonder if they did something wrong. Try telling them you are simply asexual, they will have better chances of understanding that.
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I very much agree with this! Don't do that to them. Telling them you're just asexual will be much easier too accept and will take the pressure off you to have a family.
 
I think we all will suffer this the rest of our lives really. Unless your lucky. I still tear up looking at my boy and saying I really wish I could speak my mind. At least my grandmother would have a clear mind. Regardless if she would hate me or not. Ok, I think I’m talking to much
 
Jofec said:
Hi, I need some advice.
I've been feeling lost lately.
My parents keep asking me when I would start a family and when I would have a girlfriend and children.
I have a girlfriend ... my mare. I even take her home, my mom loves her.
Unfortunately, I'm zoo exclusive, so the baby and girlfriend probably won't be. I don't know if it's a good idea to tell them I'm a zoo. I'm afraid to break relationships. That they would imagine me fucking a mare. That would be bad. I don't know what to do next, but I would probably be very relieved if I told them.
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I'm certainly no expert but I believe that being honest is always the best way, however only you can really guess at how they may take this news after all it's quite a big deal to most every day people. I hope you get things sorted and will be interested in knowing how you get along with it. Good luck Jofec
 
Think it's pretty common for parents wanting grand kids, I know my mom pestered me about it for decades and still mentions it from time to time. She's a stubborn one :p I just said I didn't want kids, she didn't like that answer but no need to explain further. And she did push on why and when. Just told her dont want them and never will lol.

You never know how people are going to react to the knowledge of you having a relationship with another species, no mater how much you think you know them. I had thought about telling her but as @egoldstein mentioned the reward just isint there and the risk was all mine.
 
My parents were the same way as you. I still live with them because I can't afford to move out yet.
There was a time they would push it really bad, always asking about girlfriends, children, grandchildren.
So what I've been doing lately is stating clearly that I hate kids, and that I will never have children. And it seems to be working.
I don't think telling them that my female dog is my girlfriend will make things easier. But it may change in the future, we don't know.
 
i'm lucky enough to have siblings. all of them have either a partner/spouse or kids so my parents don't question me that much. the occasional "when will you have a girlfriend?" does come up, but i just change the subject which as a downside led to my mother asking me directly multiple times if i am gay, because "if you don't have a girlfriend you must be gay" is apparently a rock solid logic... not like being gay required me to look for/have a boyfriend or something, guess i just don't know how gay ppl work :gsd_laughing:
 
I wouldn't, my brother suspects I fuck my horses but I deny it jokingly.
My dad has made odd references in convos that made me suspect he knows. ?
Just say naw fuck having a family or girlfriend to them that can't ever get u in trouble, and who knows man beastiality is illegal it could go south very quickly.
 
Were I facing such a situation (I'm not - my 'rents have been in the ground for several years now) the answer would be simple: "I'll settle down and have kids when, and ONLY when, in my sole opinion, it stops looking like the world is on the verge of blowing itself to hell. Until then, quit asking - all you do is annoy me when you keep harping on it."

Now, granted, me and my family were never particularly close, and the whole "mind your own fucking business" concept was S.O.P., but even without that, I didn't feel they were entitled to have any say of any kind in my life once I left the parental home. If you're somehow stuck living with them, your milage may vary, but if you're out on your own, you're under no obligation (that you don't put on yourself) to share so much as "I'm still breathing" with them, never mind anything as totally not their business as your sexuality or plans (or lack of them) for making them grandparents. By my way of thinking, if that's a problem for them, it's their problem to deal with, not yours, and you're under no obligation to do anything about it.
 
Fire Metal said:
Im a "carry it to the grave" type. There are a MILLION reasons why people dont have families or have kids, best excuse is just "havent found the right person."

I personally dont understand some peoples need to be open or discuss their sexual preferences. It doesnt involve them, doesnt affect them, they dont control or dictate it, their opinions dont matter one way or another, it opens yourself undue risk or judgement, and its not going to stop you from doing or feeling the way you do about your lifestyle.

I personally feel that if you need to tell someone something private about your life for their acceptance, then there's something about that thing that you yourself havent accepted or feel guilty for, which is a side effect for lack of personal acceptance.

I understand what youre going through because my mom does the same thing. It can be annoying and hard to keep explaining, but its honestly better than the alternative in my mind.
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I fail to see what personal acceptance has to do with it.
 
I wouldn't try directly. In my case they probably already know or suspect it, so I don't want to confront them. I'm already very uncomfortable talking anything sex related in front of them.

Maybe start telling them you don't want kids. They used to ask me a lot and I always said that I don't want kids because I don't like babies neither I I want to bring kids to this awful world. They don't ask me any more, only my grandmother once in a while.

Also tell them that you don't want a partner, that you're better by yourself and you want to focus in your career, job, hobbies, being an entrepreneur, what ever suits your profile better.

As last resource you could tell them that you're asexual (which is not a lie if you feel like that about humans and you are zoo-exclusive). This could backfire though, in my case the problem is that my dad doesn't even understand that concept, for him if you are not straight, then you're gay, even bisexuals don't exist for him (they are "gays that try to dissimulate their gayness"). My mom maybe does understand the concept of asexuality, but probably it will make her suspect even more about my zoosexuality...

In any case, I don't see why they will imagine you having sex with a mare. A normal parent shouldn't even imagine their son/daughter having sex with their human partners (unless they are into incest...)
 
No, no, no. Don't do it ever, take it to your grave. The only people you should be talking about this with are other like minded people.

I used to think like you, that getting it off my chest to my family would help me. I'm glad I was always too afraid to because looking back as an adult I know more and know that there's no point. Even the best possible outcome isn't worth the risk of what'll happen to you if the reaction is bad.
 
Pillar said:
I fail to see what personal acceptance has to do with it.
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Some people cant define their self worth internally and seek validation from other people and in doing so attribute that external value internally.

We're social creatures, so we all seek some sort social validation within a group, but some people value that social validation too much which is why some people are such attention seekers or trying to always be the center of attention, they want others validation so they can feel valued. Not everyone needs this kind of attention or external validation though.

As far as the need to express sexual preference, deviant sexual behavior is fairly looked down upon in society and that social weight bears down on people even if they dont directly receive it from anyone. This is why so many people feel guilty for what theyre in to or do, especially in our zoophilia realm.

So, it stands to reason that if you feel the need to tell others about your sexual preferences for the purpose of them accepting you despite that sexual preference, that deep down inside you dont accept yourself, and thats the real issue.
 
are your parents ok with gay relationships? with polyamorous marriage? If they are open-minded with this sort of stuff, maybe they will accept you as a zoo... if they are closed-minded conservationists who hate LGBT people, telling them that you are a zoo will only create fights, and they won't even want to look at your face anymore.

You can test the ground by bringing up the topic of zoophilia seriously (don't tell them yet) if they react like "THIS IS A HORRIBLE CRIME AGAINST NATURE AND AGAINST THE WILL OF GOD!" forget it. if they say something like "Uh... to each it's own... I guess...? Kinda gross..." you can go ahead, explain the consent thing, make them more comfortable with this subject (mere-exposure effect), and, later on, tell them the truth. They may get kinda disconcerted, maybe even shocked, but with time, they'll accept.

Me? I will never tell this to my parents. They are the conservative, religious kind. But maybe you are a little luckier.
 
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Normally, people don't talk to their parents about their sex lives. You know they are going to see this as a sex thing and not a relationship thing. There is no reason to tell them apart from your own personal validation. You will only risk hurting yourself, and throwing yourself in the clink. What will you expect their reactions to be? Extremely low chance that they will be cool about it, and even astronomically lower chance that they'll be like "WOW SOMEONE ELSE TOO?"

Find your personal validation somewhere else, even here.
 
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