This happens on occasion. Just a few weeks ago some WoW guild member said that his home city is so small that almost everybody knows each other, which turned out to be rather bad for some woman who filmed herself having sex with a dog, which leaked online. Usually I remain silent. If I need to say something, for example being asked about an opinion, I talk about specifics, like how filming oneself doing something society doesn't accept and then being careless with the video material is totally stupid. I miss the topic on purpose and comment on the unimportant, losely related specific instead.
If however I have to comment on the subject at hand, I do so, right to the point. I give those who want to know an abridged version of the facts as I see them:
"In this context, there are two types of people: Those who abuse animals and those who don't. I'm against the people who abuse animals and I always will be. I'm not against the latter. If anybody involved is wanting it and anybody involved is mature enough to know what they want and of sound mind, consenting to the action to take place, either by clear word or by participating and clear absence of refusal of the advances of the other party and nobody gets forced to anything and nobody gets hurt, then I don't object, no matter who or what is involved. If some involved party is coerced and forced to participate, might take physical or mental damage from it or is otherwise unwilling, then my tolerance ends. I despise people doing that (not only to animals, but in general) as much as the next person. But if that doesn't happen, who am I to judge?"
I usually end there, as I made clear that I'm totally against abuse. I know that outsiders can't or don't want to see the differences between an animal abuser and us, but to us the differences are clear. And that's why I make that my point. We don't want abuse. They don't want abuse. Nobody wants abuse. So we are on the same page. Of course, some people might want to argue, that all forms of sexual relationship with animals are abuse to them or something similar. To which I simply repeat, that if all parties are clearly willing and nobody can or will be hurt, that I won't object, as that would not be abuse. If they see it as abuse, then we have different definitions of abuse, but I already stated mine, so they have to come up with reasons why it would be abuse. So far nobody ever went that route before.
And even if that was supposed to happen, I can always play the breeding card. Some people might call it a "Whataboutism", but this can be deflected, because it's a related topic. Animals get forced to breed and nobody objects. Collecting semen and artificial insemination is okay, because it's for financial gain, but if somebody puts passion into similar activities, caring for the sexual wellbeing of the animal in the process, then suddenly it's bad? I then want to hear examples for why it is worse. If for example somebody who is jerking a stallion off is doing something worse to the stallion than somebody who is using the crumping method to collect semen from the stallion, I want to hear a reason for why this would be worse. It's basically the same action and it doesn't make any difference for the stallion. Just the motivation is different. So the true "bad" thing happens in the head. People are so indoctrinated that sex is something inherently abusive and bad that they can't accept that it can be something natural and harmless. They are used to turn a blind eye to activities they deem necessary, but are overly zealous in hunting down people who do pleasurable things for fun. And I make clear that I don't participate in the witch-hunt because I can differentiate between doing actual harm to an animal, which I despise, and just breaking a taboo, which I am indifferent to. And if I deem something bad, I'd have to deem any similar action bad, the cognitive dissonance based on the motivation of the person doing the deed is irrelevant. It's either harmful and therefore bad, or not. If someone decides to consider those actions harmful, then I encourage them to overthink their current livechoices, because they most likely then not have benefited from socially acceptable abuse for financial gain and if someone decides to consider it not harmful, then the actions of people enjoying doing it shouldn't be considered harmful either. Note, that I don't take any particular position here, I just try to establish a more consequential thoughtpattern. Or at least that's what I would do in this case.
Luckily this only ever happened on the web, I never had to get that deep into that topic iRL.
In RL the topic is usually over when I say, that I'm absolutely against abuse, no matter how it is called, while I'm indifferent to anything else, however it is called. People (at least the non-religious kind) are usually just interested in hearing, that you don't like abuse. If you agree to that, they usually won't go into any more detail. They might define abuse differently, but as long as they don't bring it up, you don't have to jump up to defend zoophilia with a flaming sword.
But if they bring it up, you have to always think about what's best for your pets and yourself as well as for your reputation. Don't try to defend a mental construct like the conception about what an animal-fucker is supposed to be agains an intolerant mob. You won't succeed and just put yourself in harms way. You don't have to play along either. Be indifferent. If someone makes a joke, you don't have to crack an even bigger one. You also don't have to remain silent either. React like you feel suits the situation best. If you didn't find the joke funny, a small courtesy laugh will do. Nobody blames you if the joke doesn't just straight hit your humor center.
It's only important to remember that there isn't just black and white. You don't have to publicly be pro or contra, you could always be indifferent instead. Not openly supporting a group doesn't mean you despise them. Sometimes you just have to get by somehow. And only, because you don't support a group in public, doesn't mean you hurt it or couldn't help it in different ways.
Don't beat yourself up to much about it.
Stay safe out there!
