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Post Dump for Unlock more forum sections + little about me.

Well... this post is just a post to increase my karma and score for my profile to be unlocked for more actions. So it's a Thread Dump.

I'm a Brazilian non-binary trans person, bisexual and I'm a Taurus sign, looking for a relationship, and I'm extremely vanilla and not sexually active for some reasons, which I won't write here out of sheer laziness and lack of elaboration of better words, basically my kinks are sports shoes and feet, hentai recently appeared and Z** came from an almost experience.

I almost had an experience 8 years ago out of pure needy and curiosity... but it didn't go ahead and today I feel like I was left with a trauma... basically I think about it but it's more linked to pornography itself than the desire to to practice. I just want to not feel bad about it...

So sometimes I think I should face it normally but creating this connection with other people in that way and sometimes my morals recriminate me a lot. What I tell you is something extremely personal. But I already know a little about how to find these people and where and the codes. That's why I found you.

It's a long story... so I'll summarize it a lot... Basically this happened eight years ago when my mother had passed away and I went to spend some time at a sister's house, and there she had a Pitbull and I was terrified of it. animals but he ended up doing all that part of rehabilitation and socialization of the space and him with me and after a while he became attached to me... (affectively).

Then, after two days, my sister needed to go away for a day and I ended up being alone with him and then I was using Snapchat at that time, I started using it again recently because I bought a better cell phone and then I was talking to a boy and I had told him what was happening... I was at my sister's house and she had a pet and he was very affectionate with me and then he started to instigate me to do things with him.

Not exactly... But I was left with this memory... It kind of ended up awakening me to this type of pornography consumption... But at the same time as I struggle with not feeding it, I am always in a certain way being unconsciously confronted With this comes the desire to consume and be in contact with people who enjoy it and a need to speak to be heard and I seek absolution of guilt because I don't no it's something tab*oo.
This is a big secret and it is something very complex... With these leaks, I can't talk about it with just anyone, in fact I have already exposed myself quite a bit by posting my story, it is having steady people and with a lot of friendship, connection and trust that I feel open to talking about and in fact we should all be careful about this.
Today I at least work and work doesn't leave me time for anything unfortunately, today all of this is just because I'm on break and I didn't want to go out and just rest and stay on Reddit, Snapchat, Telegram and here.

🇧🇷

Bem... este post é apenas um post para aumentar meu karma e pontuação para que meu perfil seja desbloqueado para mais ações. Então é um despejo de tópico.

Sou uma pessoa trans não binária, bissexual, brasileira, fora dos padrões estéticos hegemônico e heterocentrico e sou taurina, procurando um relacionamento, e sou extremamente baunilha e não sexualmente ativa por alguns motivos, que não vou escrever aqui por pura preguiça e falta de elaboração de palavras melhores. Basicamente, meus fetiches são tênis e pés esportivos, o hentai apareceu recentemente e Z** surgiu de uma quase experiência.

Quase tive uma experiência há 8 anos por pura carência e curiosidade... mas não aconteceu e hoje sinto que fiquei com um trauma... basicamente penso nisso, mas está mais ligado à pornografia em si do que ao desejo de praticá-la. Eu só quero não me sentir mal com isso...

Então, às vezes, acho que deveria encarar isso normalmente, mas criar essa conexão com outras pessoas dessa forma, e às vezes minha moral me recrimina muito. O que eu digo a vocês é algo extremamente pessoal. Mas eu já sei um pouco sobre como encontrar essas pessoas, onde e os códigos. Foi por isso que te encontrei.

É uma longa história... então vou resumir bem... Basicamente, isso aconteceu há oito anos, quando minha mãe faleceu e eu fui passar um tempo na casa de uma irmã, e lá ela tinha um Pitbull e eu tinha pavor dele. Mas ele acabou fazendo toda aquela parte de reabilitação e socialização do espaço comigo e depois de um tempo ele se apegou a mim... (afetivamente).

Aí, depois de dois dias, minha irmã precisou viajar por um dia e eu acabei ficando sozinha com ele e aí eu estava usando o Snapchat naquela época, comecei a usar de novo recentemente porque comprei um celular melhor e aí eu estava conversando com um menino e contei a ele o que estava acontecendo... Eu estava na casa da minha irmã e ela tinha um animal de estimação e ele era muito carinhoso comigo e aí ele começou a me instigar a fazer coisas com ele.

Não exatamente... Mas fiquei com essa lembrança... Isso meio que me fez despertar para esse tipo de consumo de pornografia... Mas, ao mesmo tempo em que luto para não alimentá-lo, estou sempre, de certa forma, sendo inconscientemente confrontada. Com isso, vem o desejo de consumir e estar em contato com pessoas que gostam e uma necessidade de falar para ser ouvida e busco a absolvição da culpa porque não sei, é algo tabu.
Isso é um grande segredo e é algo muito complexo... Com esses vazamentos, não posso falar sobre isso com qualquer pessoa, na verdade, já me expus bastante postando minha história, é ter pessoas estáveis e com muita amizade, conexão e confiança que me sinto aberta a falar e, na verdade, todos nós deveríamos ter cuidado com isso.
Hoje eu pelo menos trabalho e o trabalho não me deixa tempo para nada, infelizmente, hoje tudo isso é só porque estou de folga e não queria sair e apenas descansar e ficar no Reddit, Snapchat, Telegram e aqui.
 
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First and foremost, welcome to the forum. It sounds like you have a lot of conflicting emotions about your relationship and experience with zoophilia/sexuality, and it's definitely not a bad thing.

It's okay to have conflicting feelings, especially for something as complex as this; there's never any easy way to discover yourself—at least I haven't personally found any—so you'll need to spend some time thinking about how you feel about zoophilia as a whole. Such as, grossing you out but feeling compelled to watch, enjoying it but don't feel you should, and every other feeling.

Once—or if—you can figure out your thoughts on the actual activities of it rather than how you feel about the porn itself, it'll be a whole lot easier to bring your mind to a much better state by understanding if you are—or are not—zoophilic.

I don't think I'd be alone in saying that everyone, or most everyone at least, would be more than happy to talk with you and hear more about your struggles or just you in general. I know personally just how hard it can be to have such great confliction in your head, so I understand partially what you're going through. So feel free to reach out to me, the mods, or anyone else that you think you'd want to talk to.

In terms of the forum itself, I would start by using a tor browser if you aren't already, especially if you're going to be browsing here at work, then—obviously—don't give out personal information to people, don't post easily identifiable information (this one is why I can't post about my biggest hobby, because I'm basically one of a handful with it), and especially don't give anyone else your other social media details; it can ruin your life. Most of the people here are very kind, so don't hesitate to reach out if you'd like—to anyone.

Finally, I sincerely hope this helps you feel comfort in any way, I'm mainly just trying to say things that I would have appreciated when I was going through something similar.

I hope you enjoy your stay in our not so little slice of solidarity here in the forum! (⁠ ⁠◜⁠‿⁠◝⁠ ⁠)⁠♡
 
First and foremost, welcome to the forum. It sounds like you have a lot of conflicting emotions about your relationship and experience with zoophilia/sexuality, and it's definitely not a bad thing.

It's okay to have conflicting feelings, especially for something as complex as this; there's never any easy way to discover yourself—at least I haven't personally found any—so you'll need to spend some time thinking about how you feel about zoophilia as a whole. Such as, grossing you out but feeling compelled to watch, enjoying it but don't feel you should, and every other feeling.

Once—or if—you can figure out your thoughts on the actual activities of it rather than how you feel about the porn itself, it'll be a whole lot easier to bring your mind to a much better state by understanding if you are—or are not—zoophilic.

I don't think I'd be alone in saying that everyone, or most everyone at least, would be more than happy to talk with you and hear more about your struggles or just you in general. I know personally just how hard it can be to have such great confliction in your head, so I understand partially what you're going through. So feel free to reach out to me, the mods, or anyone else that you think you'd want to talk to.

In terms of the forum itself, I would start by using a tor browser if you aren't already, especially if you're going to be browsing here at work, then—obviously—don't give out personal information to people, don't post easily identifiable information (this one is why I can't post about my biggest hobby, because I'm basically one of a handful with it), and especially don't give anyone else your other social media details; it can ruin your life. Most of the people here are very kind, so don't hesitate to reach out if you'd like—to anyone.

Finally, I sincerely hope this helps you feel comfort in any way, I'm mainly just trying to say things that I would have appreciated when I was going through something similar.

I hope you enjoy your stay in our not so little slice of solidarity here in the forum! (⁠ ⁠◜⁠‿⁠◝⁠ ⁠)⁠♡
Thank you for your beautiful and sensible words... I will think more about everything you and everyone who will come to say something and see what I will do with it... A pleasure to hear from you and meet you.

xoxo from 🇧🇷 😘 ⚧🫰🏾
 
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