I've been repressing my sexuality for years and it's ruining my life

Llandefie said:
Where's this dictionary? I'd really like to read it.

Thanks so much for your sympathy, though. It's really great to talk to other zoos at last.
Click to expand...

The Official Zoophile's Dictionary 2020

The Official Zoophile's Dictionary 2020 09-21-2019, 05:20 PM Along with the input of several other zoophiles, in combination bringing decades of understanding and observation have come to unite the zoo community with our presentation of the official Zoophile Dictionary. We together hope to end...
www.zooville.org www.zooville.org
 
Llandefie said:
I know the common path for most zoos is to go for humans and realise you're not into them after decades of trying, ...
Click to expand...

i wonder what the exact numbers are on that, as one who does NOT fit that "common" path.

it sounds like you're feeling better since coming here.
 
Llandefie said:
Mm, yeah, I'm already feeling that. I couldn't bear to eat them anymore since I started to accept my sexuality. I've just started seeing so much more in their eyes and their expression than I ever used to, and getting to understand their personality on so much more of a deeper level. I'm sure there's still lots to learn, though.
Click to expand...

This is why I'm a vegetarian (I don't eat meat) -- I think it's wrong to treat an animal as a mere object to be consumed. I'm glad you don't eat animals anymore.
 
Zoo50 said:
This is why I'm a vegetarian (I don't eat meat) -- I think it's wrong to treat an animal as a mere object to be consumed. I'm glad you don't eat animals anymore.
Click to expand...
Mm, absolutely. I used to think I was weird for being a vegan zoo, that other vegans would consider me an enemy, but you're the second non-meat-eater I've found here, so it's starting to look like more and more of an okay thing.
 
juan_doe_drei said:
i wonder what the exact numbers are on that, as one who does NOT fit that "common" path.

it sounds like you're feeling better since coming here.
Click to expand...
Definitely. I've been exploring a lot more about myself and being a lot more open to my more normal friends. Not going so far as to tell them what I am, but being less like an asexual weirdo and more openly a flamboyant sex freak.
 
Painted Pony said:
If you think about it, vegan Zoo makes perfect sense.
Click to expand...
It does. I just... I dunno, I was probably being zoophobic against myself, assuming most zoos are happy to be exploiting animals. Or they'd have some dumb idea about it like that they find it hot to put dead animal flesh inside them.
 
Llandefie said:
It does. I just... I dunno, I was probably being zoophobic against myself, assuming most zoos are happy to be exploiting animals. Or they'd have some dumb idea about it like that they find it hot to put dead animal flesh inside them.
Click to expand...

Unfortunately, some of zoos eat meat. You'd think that being zoo would mean that one would have a greater respect for animals (meaning, they wouldn't eat animals), but apparently this isn't always the case.

That said, it does appear that the number of vegetarians and vegans is higher amongst the zoo population than it is amongst the general population.
 
Zoo50 said:
Unfortunately, some of zoos eat meat. You'd think that being zoo would mean that one would have a greater respect for animals (meaning, they wouldn't eat animals), but apparently this isn't always the case.

That said, it does appear that the number of vegetarians and vegans is higher amongst the zoo population than it is amongst the general population.
Click to expand...
Most zoos refuse to eat the species of their animal mates. That is documented in miletskis research.

And in think that is a fair mid point. How could you eat the same flesh of your lover? Youd have to be pretty cold.
 
Zoo50 said:
Unfortunately, some of zoos eat meat. You'd think that being zoo would mean that one would have a greater respect for animals (meaning, they wouldn't eat animals), but apparently this isn't always the case.

That said, it does appear that the number of vegetarians and vegans is higher amongst the zoo population than it is amongst the general population.
Click to expand...
That's really good to hear.

Yeah, I think one perception I've had is that a lot of zoos are farmers who just wanted to fuck their animals. They'd obviously not be interested in giving up meat. But that's like, basically the stereotype, isn't it? The lonely farmer who goes out and fucks the sheep or pigs.

No, it's clear that what being a zoo really means is truly loving animals, not seeing them as sex objects.
 
mammalsexual said:
I have a secret...You can be straight with humans and bi with animals...?...I wrestled with this fact of my sexuality for many years as well.

Not every animal is open to sex with humans, but it seems more common than humans that are open to sex with animals. It's also been my experience that just that there are zoophile humans, there are also "humanphile" animals (that is animals that enjoy, even perhaps to prefer, sex with humans...?
Click to expand...

This exact thought has been on my mind a lot lately. I find myself fantasizing about playing with male dogs more and more lately, yet have NO interest in human males that way. Ive never actually had interests in male dogs either until recently when i got some alone time with a friends lab and I guess Im zoo bi?

As for the OP, self acceptance is a long road, but at the end of the day, its just sex. We love animals emotionally and taking it a step further to make it physical isnt really that far off. Love yourself as much as you love animals, that always sets me straight (or animal bi ?)
 
Fire Metal said:
This exact thought has been on my mind a lot lately. I find myself fantasizing about playing with male dogs more and more lately, yet have NO interest in human males that way. Ive never actually had interests in male dogs either until recently when i got some alone time with a friends lab and I guess Im zoo bi?

As for the OP, self acceptance is a long road, but at the end of the day, its just sex. We love animals emotionally and taking it a step further to make it physical isnt really that far off. Love yourself as much as you love animals, that always sets me straight (or animal bi ?)
Click to expand...

Me too - I'd never been with a male anything till about a year ago. I by chance ran into a male pony that was receptive for a little butt play, none of the surrounding mares were interested, so I just went for it. He seemed to groove on it, and I did too. I've had two other male/male interactions since then. Guess I'm bi too at this point.
 
Painted Pony said:
If you think about it, vegan Zoo makes perfect sense.
Click to expand...
Animals also eat meat so it kinda invalidates the whole point of going vegan because of zoophilia. Some animals are carnivores, some are herbivores and some like humans are omnivores.
Zoophilia not about saving the planet and all the animals, but rather consensually enjoying cross species relationships on a higher level.
 
I don't wanna turn this from a pity party to a veganism debate, but while it's not what being zoo is about, it doesn't mean it can't be part of what it means to you. And that certainly is what it means to me. I'm actually more attracted to horses specifically because they're herbivores. I think it makes them smell a lot nicer.

I'm much more happy to share breath with a horse when they smell like a warm meadow.
 
Gigelina said:
Animals also eat meat so it kinda invalidates the whole point of going vegan because of zoophilia. Some animals are carnivores, some are herbivores and some like humans are omnivores.
Zoophilia not about saving the planet and all the animals, but rather consensually enjoying cross species relationships on a higher level.
Click to expand...
Not to mention meat is so tasty
 
I know some equine zoophiles!

I will say this: if you want horses, then I suggest getting established in a very good, very stable career. Horses are expensive.

What is your home country, by the way?
 
Gigelina said:
Animals also eat meat so it kinda invalidates the whole point of going vegan because of zoophilia. Some animals are carnivores, some are herbivores and some like humans are omnivores.
Zoophilia not about saving the planet and all the animals, but rather consensually enjoying cross species relationships on a higher level.
Click to expand...

Unlike other animals, humans do not have to eat meat. It is not necessary for a human to eat meat. The "omnivore" argument isn't a good argument.

arcticwolf69 said:
Not to mention meat is so tasty
Click to expand...

An animal's life is more important than how something tastes. In other words, the justification for killing an animal (that it "tastes good") isn't good.

Plus, there are plenty of vegetarian foods that taste better than meat -- instead of eating a burger made of cow flesh, one can eat a plant-based burger.
 
Zoo50 said:
Unlike other animals, humans do not have to eat meat. It is not necessary for a human to eat meat. The "omnivore" argument isn't a good argument.



An animal's life is more important than how something tastes.

Plus, there are plenty of vegetarian foods that taste better than meat -- instead of eating a burger made of cow flesh, one can eat a plant-based burger.
Click to expand...

the more improvements are made to such, the closer i get to becoming vegetarian.
i do _want_ to be vegetarian, but i'm too set in my ways (and where i am, vegetarian options aren't as common, though it's getting better)
 
SigmatoZeta said:
I know some equine zoophiles!

I will say this: if you want horses, then I suggest getting established in a very good, very stable career. Horses are expensive.

What is your home country, by the way?
Click to expand...
Wales, and there seems to be literally just one other guy from this country on this forum. Although I'd be willing to travel if I could get a date with a stallion anywhere in the UK.

Stable career though? Yikes, that's scary. I'm not a stable person to begin with.
 
Zoo50 said:
Plus, there are plenty of vegetarian foods that taste better than meat -- instead of eating a burger made of cow flesh, one can eat a plant-based burger.
Click to expand...
plants refined with all sorts of chemicals .... no thanks ... i will stick with flame broiled cow flesh for my burgers
 
Oh gosh, here we go.

Should we just accept that this is gonna turn into a veganism debate or try to stop it?

EDIT: Actually, nah, if people wanna have a debate here, I'm just gonna lock the thread. That sort of discussion belongs somewhere else.

In fact, I think I'll make a thread for it right now.

EDIT 2: Oh, I guess I can't lock the thread. That sucks. Well, hopefully it'll be fine anyway.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
I can also relate with the op. It’s nearly destroyed me as a human being to accept my zoo side and numerous years of self destruction. All I can say is I have had the most mind blowing sex with a mare that I could never find with humans. The self destructive tendencies almost cost me my life numerous times and I finally get it in my late 40’s. We were never meant to be miserable. If you think that’s the case you need professional help. The first step is acceptance and then believe in yourself and your need for love and compassion. One you accept this the rest will sort itself out. This isn’t a curse it’s just what makes you an individual and it’s ok.
 
Bit late reading your post @Llandefie but much the same been repressing my zoophilia since I was a teenager, tried lots of things, now I am just happy to go with the flow, shame it took me so long to work myself out. I have a deep attraction to horses and dogs, I will have my own again soon of both, and live happily ever after (I hope) cheers and yes it is a great place to download repressed feeling and thoughts. cheers LL
 
Llandefie said:
I wish I had some discussion or questions to ask that were more positive or something, but honestly I've been desperate to talk to other zoos for a long time and I just need to try and get stuff off my chest.

I realized I was zoo when I was seventeen, and I didn't understand the gravity of it at the time, but it's slowly been tearing my life apart. I feel like neverending, quiet, invisible explosion, and I completely failed the last year of high school even though I was a top student at everything until then. I've been riddled with so much shame and self-hatred that I've isolated, humiliated and harmed myself, along with doing horrible things to myself out of sexual frustration, and causing huge rifts in my friendships until I started fully hiding everything about myself.
I tried some things to get near the animals who interested me, dog sitting, horse riding, even working at that riding school, always putting myself through huge struggle and pain just to spend a few hours around them. The riding school I went to was eighteen kilometres away, I went there at eight and left at five every day for two weeks, and all I had was a bike. It didn't matter to me though, because all of it seemed worthwhile just for that time around them. Yet I never got to be alone, never got to feel safe, and lately I haven't had any way of being around horses at all. No matter how many friendly people I hang out with at college, I always feel lonely and terrified of anyone's company, and usually come home at the end of the day to quietly cry and scream until I finally manage to sleep. I wanted to be alone, so I left my parents and moved back to my home country on the other side of the world from them, but I've ended up with housemates who I can't stand living with but am absolutely stuck with.

I'm sure none of you want to hear my sob story, but I come dangerously close to killing myself at least once a week, and this shame, guilt and loneliness is crippling my ability to achieve anything in life. For whatever reason I was afraid of reaching out to other zoos, too, but somehow I finally found the strength to do it.

I do love what I'm reading hear though. If I can get through this, I really want to become an active part of this community and contribute to efforts to normalize our sexuality. A lot of the ideas here are ones I had thought of too, but had no one to discuss them with and certainly no one to agree with me on them.

I dunno, just, thanks for reading if you got this far.
Click to expand...

Society sets us up for failure, because they think loving animals is sinful.

Unfortunately, because of this it's a battle for every one of us against self loathing and the drain on your mental resources that constant secrecy causes. I hope that finding a group of people who understand how you feel will help. A society that gets you.

You deserve love and you deserve to get what you need.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top