bad life advice to live by

[stumpy bill]

Poison ivy will dry up acne. Don"t be bashful rub in a hand full

 

[fistingmike]

It's better to cum in the sink than sink in the cum.

I would love to sink in the cum!

 

[stumpy bill]

Chicks dig the scent of fish! Rub a dead fish on you...When their eyes water and nostrils
flair, then walk away. Fear not, follow...She's just playing hard to get.

 

[Puhp]

You know what they say, an apple a day keeps the apple farmer happy

 

[Chiara2003]

You know what they say, an apple a day keeps the apple farmer happy

Also makes a pie in about a week?

 

[Puhp]

what do you mean a week? TOMORROW is 3.14 day! ?

 

[Chiara2003]

what do you mean a week? TOMORROW is 3.14 day! ?

I do knowing what pie is???… 3.1456…..??‍

 

[dartel]

3.1456

Fail.
3.14159

 

[Chiara2003]

Fail.
3.14159

Em….??…. Darn auto correct ?

 

[Puhp]

I'm willing to let four thousandths be four thousandths

 

[Chiara2003]

I'm willing to let four thousandths be four thousandths

When I am wrong I admit it ??…..

 

[Chiara2003]

*darn auto correct ?

 

[Japip]

Anal without lube is fun...

 

[Puhp]

You can magnify your phone's screen by putting it in a glass of water.​

 

[knotty365]

Pull a muscle? Try pushing it.

 

[knotty365]

See cop lights in your mirror? He’s signaling he wants to race.

 

[MrsShemon]

If you get cold, pee in your pants, it will feel warmer for a while.

 

[Steven Raccoon]

I pee every which way and all over that way. Because Miss (it's miss not mrs to me) Demon scares the piss out of me!

 

[TheZipper]

Father to son at report card time: “B’s make honey….A’s make MONEY!” ?

 

[knotty365]

Father to son at report card time: “B’s make honey….A’s make MONEY!” ?

Mother to daughter : A’s are great but D’s are the best

 

[TheZipper]

Mother to daughter : A’s are great but D’s are the best

I’m actually a fan of the A and even the nearly A.?

 

[Kristy]

While sliding down the banister of life, be careful not to get a splinter in your ca-rear.

 

[Taopony]

A yellow stoplight means "go as fast as you can"

 

[Ren]

If you put too much water in your rice, drop some phones in to soak up the extra!

 

[FoxandtheHounds]

Cross threads are better than no threads.

 

[Labraguy5]

Thick bleach is cheaper than lube and will protect you from STDs and unwanted children ?

 

[Demigod]

Tired of your job? Just don't show up to work.

 

[Puhp]

So I WAS going to wear a condom, then I asked myself "When am I ever going to get back to Haiti?"

 

[Ren]

If you wanna fuck a mare and she's too tall, try a running jump to get in there.

 

[lucyninfomana00]

If you are thirsty drinking ocean water is not a bad idea.