bad life advice to live by

[AppleGrassi]

Alright y'all, title says it all. Give your worst life hacks/tips/tricks/whatever the fuck. I'll go first:

If you bring a gun to the bank, they will give you free money!

 

[blijftniksover]

Tired of being broke, just win the mega jackpot.

 

[Estafantom]

You are depressed? Stop it, smile and be happy.

 

[blijftniksover]

Buy a cow and you're never out of milk.

 

[Estafantom]

You want to loose weight? Starve yourself.

 

[knotty365]

Wife is upset? Just tell her to get over it.

 

[Redrocket2085]

Hurts to move a body a partpart, (Like arm, turn you head, flex youe wrist, etc) then don't do that.

 

[Estafantom]

Try going on dates instead of loving your pets too much.

 

[dartel]

Have a child.

 

[AppleGrassi]

Feeling lonely? Climb to the top of a skyscraper, people will want to talk to you then!

 

[knotty365]

Want to brown nose your boss? Toss their salad.

 

[knotty365]

Surprise your SO. Stick it in the back door without warning or lube.

 

[Valkiria]

You hate your neighbour? He constantly pisses you off? Go get a gun and get rid of him once and forever!

 

[dartel]

You hate your neighbour? He constantly pisses you off? Go get a gun and get rid of him once and forever!

Sounds like good advise to me.

 

[Valkiria]

Sounds like good advise to me.

But it's not.

 

[dartel]

But it's not.

I'm gonna need to see your work on that answer.

 

[Valkiria]

I'm gonna need to see your work on that answer.

I didn't kill anyone. Yet. No matter how much I want.

 

[thecdbeast]

Hate your work? Burn it down

 

[knotty365]

Wife acting up? Tell her shes acting like her mother.

 

[Taopony]

Put all of your net worth into Bitcoin

 

[knotty365]

Trust a politician when they tell you theyre not lieing

 

[FloofyNewfie]

Feeling hungry, but don't have a lot of money? Punch a random police officer in the face. You'll receive 3 free meals a day for the next few or more years.

 

[AppleGrassi]

Struggling to fall asleep? Get a bowling ball, lift it above your head, and drop! Youll be asleep for a long time after that!

 

[knotty365]

Dont like doctors? Throw apples at them to keep them away

 

[knotty365]

Think someone’s dog is sexy? Ask them if you can fuck it.

 

[Valkiria]

Who told you can't jump from the top of Burj Khalifa? Go prove him wrong!

 

[knotty365]

Want to impress a woman? Send her a random dick pic

 

[GoddessMS88]

Have a child.

?

 

[Steven Raccoon]

Punch a law enforcement officer in the nose and you will get a private room with 3 meals delivered daily and all for free!


Never mind. @FloofyNewfie posted before I could.

@Chiara2003 See! I'm slow as fuck!

 

[GoddessMS88]

some of us really do like that