42yo Conflicted Female with Horse Fetish

H

hwkara

Tourist
Hello. My husband and I have been in the swinger/sharing lifestyle for almost 25 years. In recent years, our relationship has transitioned to "open" for both of us, as he is out of the country most of the year.

Earlier this year, a close female friend, also in the lifestyle, asked me if I ever fantasized about horse-cock. I thought she meant very hung men, but she quickly explained her point and we discussed this for a couple of hours, mostly her answering my questions. Even the moment I understood she was talkng about actual horses, I found myself strangely aroused by the thought. We had many discussions about this subject over the next month, and she admitted that for the past two years, she had not only given blowjobs to horses but had also taken a horse cock in her vagina. She did not hold back any details, and after each conversation I found myself more intrigued and aroused than before.

Long story short, she connected me with the man who has been providing this "service". She trusts him 100% and I trust her the same. She told me that I know others who take part in his offerings, but they wish to remain unknown for obvious privacy concerns. He has been doing this for over 30 years. His farm is less than 30 minutes from our home. My husband is aware of everything, and while not encouraging me, he is okay with whatever decision I make.

For the past three months, I have communicated with this man by email, and more recently by phone and video chat. The fetish is alive inside me, but I just can't seem to pull the trigger and set up a live meeting. I want to try, but feel it is just so wrong. I would like some advice from others who have done it, to try and understand how you felt after. I am scared of having a huge regret that I will have to live with forever.
 
PonyTrot said:
I'd say go do it!
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That is how I feel most of the time, but when I get close to setting it I up I start thinking of the taboo aspects. Trying to find others who overcame similar fears, I guess, and maybe understand how they dealt with it. I know there are people who do it without thinking twice. Unfortunately, that is not me
 
hwkara said:
That is how I feel most of the time, but when I get close to setting it I up I start thinking of the taboo aspects. Trying to find others who overcame similar fears, I guess, and maybe understand how they dealt with it. I know there are people who do it without thinking twice. Unfortunately, that is not me
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I'm sure this guy has had girls get cold feet. Go and just feel it out. Try a handjob, maybe some oral, etc, and I'm sure there is plenty of time to just hang out with horses on a farm. Im jealous of the guy! No one wants to try out my stallions I guess lol
 
Why can’t your friend accompany you? Also, there’s a thread here where a man has posted pics (no faces) of all the ladies who have experienced his horse farm. Maybe contacting him would help you. Good luck!
 
PonyTrot said:
I'm sure this guy has had girls get cold feet. Go and just feel it out. Try a handjob, maybe some oral, etc, and I'm sure there is plenty of time to just hang out with horses on a farm. Im jealous of the guy! No one wants to try out my stallions I guess lol
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My friend and the guy have both suggested that I should just start with touching and see where it goes from there. I would love to bring my friend, but she is in another state until next summer. I suppose just showing up and looking might help.
 
TheZipper said:
Why can’t your friend accompany you? Also, there’s a thread here where a man has posted pics (no faces) of all the ladies who have experienced his horse farm. Maybe contacting him would help you. Good luck!
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Do you know what section that thread is in? I just joined today and am not that familiar with this site.
 
hwkara said:
My friend and the guy have both suggested that I should just start with touching and see where it goes from there. I would love to bring my friend, but she is in another state until next summer. I suppose just showing up and looking might help.
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Probably best to wait in the summer for your friend to help you out if you're feeling uncertain about it
 
hwkara said:
I actually spoke with the owner this afternoon and I am going to his farm on Sunday. My husband said he would go but plans to wait in the car.
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I'm sure we would all love to hear how that goes hon. Wish you the best of luck!
 
Basically your guilt tripping yourself
It’s completely natural to do this as an owner of k9 a cor many years and being in this life style I’ve found that it’s not just the physical side of the the act it’s also the feeling guilty dirty for having these thoughts
I will say to you once you have done it once then those fears and guilty feelings will come back but over time they come less and less the more confidence and comfy with the whole aspect of the zoo life style you won’t bat an eyelid again

It’s human nature to be like this fear of the unknown and what ifs

Good luck and I hope you over come your battle of your mind
Regards

Midlandsk9 xx
 
hwkara said:
Hello. My husband and I have been in the swinger/sharing lifestyle for almost 25 years. In recent years, our relationship has transitioned to "open" for both of us, as he is out of the country most of the year.

Earlier this year, a close female friend, also in the lifestyle, asked me if I ever fantasized about horse-cock. I thought she meant very hung men, but she quickly explained her point and we discussed this for a couple of hours, mostly her answering my questions. Even the moment I understood she was talkng about actual horses, I found myself strangely aroused by the thought. We had many discussions about this subject over the next month, and she admitted that for the past two years, she had not only given blowjobs to horses but had also taken a horse cock in her vagina. She did not hold back any details, and after each conversation I found myself more intrigued and aroused than before.

Long story short, she connected me with the man who has been providing this "service". She trusts him 100% and I trust her the same. She told me that I know others who take part in his offerings, but they wish to remain unknown for obvious privacy concerns. He has been doing this for over 30 years. His farm is less than 30 minutes from our home. My husband is aware of everything, and while not encouraging me, he is okay with whatever decision I make.

For the past three months, I have communicated with this man by email, and more recently by phone and video chat. The fetish is alive inside me, but I just can't seem to pull the trigger and set up a live meeting. I want to try, but feel it is just so wrong. I would like some advice from others who have done it, to try and understand how you felt after. I am scared of having a huge regret that I will have to live with forever.
Click to expand...
Hello and welcome. Don't rush it. You will act upon it when the time is right and once you do you will enjoy it
 
midlandsk9uk said:
Basically your guilt tripping yourself
It’s completely natural to do this as an owner of k9 a cor many years and being in this life style I’ve found that it’s not just the physical side of the the act it’s also the feeling guilty dirty for having these thoughts
I will say to you once you have done it once then those fears and guilty feelings will come back but over time they come less and less the more confidence and comfy with the whole aspect of the zoo life style you won’t bat an eyelid again

It’s human nature to be like this fear of the unknown and what ifs

Good luck and I hope you over come your battle of your mind
Regards

Midlandsk9 xx
Click to expand...
Thanks for the pep talk. I am feeling less apprehension than I have felt recently.
 
My
hwkara said:
Hello. My husband and I have been in the swinger/sharing lifestyle for almost 25 years. In recent years, our relationship has transitioned to "open" for both of us, as he is out of the country most of the year.

Earlier this year, a close female friend, also in the lifestyle, asked me if I ever fantasized about horse-cock. I thought she meant very hung men, but she quickly explained her point and we discussed this for a couple of hours, mostly her answering my questions. Even the moment I understood she was talkng about actual horses, I found myself strangely aroused by the thought. We had many discussions about this subject over the next month, and she admitted that for the past two years, she had not only given blowjobs to horses but had also taken a horse cock in her vagina. She did not hold back any details, and after each conversation I found myself more intrigued and aroused than before.

Long story short, she connected me with the man who has been providing this "service". She trusts him 100% and I trust her the same. She told me that I know others who take part in his offerings, but they wish to remain unknown for obvious privacy concerns. He has been doing this for over 30 years. His farm is less than 30 minutes from our home. My husband is aware of everything, and while not encouraging me, he is okay with whatever decision I make.

For the past three months, I have communicated with this man by email, and more recently by phone and video chat. The fetish is alive inside me, but I just can't seem to pull the trigger and set up a live meeting. I want to try, but feel it is just so wrong. I would like some advice from others who have done it, to try and understand how you felt after. I am scared of having a huge regret that I will have to live with forever.
Click to expand...
My only concern really would be that you live so close to him.

I would not reveal that you lived so close to him - to him. Not because of him necessarily but others involved with him. You don’t know the others or their intentions or issues.

Other than that, I’d say meet him and meet the horse or horses and let him know that you are interested however you will proceed at your own pace which may be very slow. Don’t feel rushed. Feel out the situation and see if you feel like moving forward.
 
SleepyPuppy said:
My

My only concern really would be that you live so close to him.

I would not reveal that you lived so close to him - to him. Not because of him necessarily but others involved with him. You don’t know the others or their intentions or issues.

Other than that, I’d say meet him and meet the horse or horses and let him know that you are interested however you will proceed at your own pace which may be very slow. Don’t feel rushed. Feel out the situation and see if you feel like moving forward.
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He doesn't know where I live and that is not a necessary part of the process. My friend filled me in on the process, and how to remain mostly anonymous, but thanks for the tip anyway. The only other person that should be there is the man's wife.
 
hwkara said:
Thanks for the pep talk. I am feeling less apprehension than I have felt recently.
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It’s not a pep talk as such
but it’s just understanding what your mind and brain are telling you every woman would go through the same

Horse is a big step to go first off
Most start with small dogs m large dogs
Giant breed then pony then a horse
But saying that I did have a gf that went from nothing to giant breed to a horse so it’s very doable good luck dm if you like I’m always here to offer advise
 
midlandsk9uk said:
It’s not a pep talk as such
but it’s just understanding what your mind and brain are telling you every woman would go through the same

Horse is a big step to go first off
Most start with small dogs m large dogs
Giant breed then pony then a horse
But saying that I did have a gf that went from nothing to giant breed to a horse so it’s very doable good luck dm if you like I’m always here to offer advise
Click to expand...
I'm just planning on a meet and greet for tomorrow, and will see how I feel in that environment.
 
Thank you all for your supportive comments. I went to the farm this morning as planned. I was shaking so bad getting out of the car. I can't believe my husband let me go never mind driving me there. The owner met me in the driveway and met my husband. We talked for a while and discussed limits and such. My husband stayed in the car when the owner led me to the barn. His wife was in in the barn already I talked with her alone for awhile, which calmed me down so much. I then followed both of them to a stall where the horse was. It was not as big as I was expecting, definitely taller than me but still a normal looking horse I guess. They both walked me through the process, and his wife then started working on the horses cock. She had already started before I got there. His wife had me kneel next to her while he stood in front of the horse, holding it stready. She guided my hand to it and the moment my skin made contact I thought I was going to pass out from the anxiety. She guided my hand up and down the length, slowly and gently. The horse made some noise and moved a little but was mostly very calm. She then put her hand over mine and had me grip the shaft and actually start stroking it. It felt incredibly sensual but also incredibly wrong. The sensual side eventually won out as she guided my other hand to this cock that was about the size of my forearm and his flare was a little smaller than my fist. I stroked it clumsily for a couple of minutes, adjusting to the strange feel and not really able to get into any rhythm. I then decided that was enough for the day and excused myself to stand up. I thought about doing more but decided to savor the win in overcoming a huge fear. His wife asked if I wanted to see her finish it and I did. She took over and mostly used her hands, but also her mouth a little, and it could not have been more than a couple of minutes when she made the horse cum and it was a lot more than I expected, She asked me if I wanted to smell or maybe taste it, but I declined and told her maybe another time. The three of us talked about the experience as she cleaned herself up a little, and they walked me back out to the driveway. They said I did a lot better than most first-timers. I am not sure how true that is but I want to believe it. We talked a little about next steps and the possibility of me visiting again. I said I would talk to my husband first and let them know. Typical "thanks" and "goodbyes" and we left. My husband is amazingly supportive, but doesn't want to see me doing it in person at this moment. I will probably be going again based on how I feel at this time.
 
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