What dog should I get (but I have insane demands.)

temporaryacc

temporaryacc

Citizen of Zooville
edit: thank you for all of your responses and help. I will not be getting a dog right away, until I’m in a better spot. But when I do it will be a lab!

Welp I’ve finally accepted it! I am in fact, sexually attracted to animals and want to do it. I made a few posts with worries but they’ve all been answered! Thank you to all that helped me :)

I know this post has existed a lot… but I’m pretty weird and don’t live a normal life? I’m very specific I geuss.

I’ll start with this, only tell me characteristics of female dogs. I don’t care about cock size, fuck speed, etc etc.
And for females I’m not particular about pussy size (considering I don’t have a dick and would only use toys her size!)

Activity level:
-I am fucking lazy most of the time.
-But not in winter. If it’s winter I’ll happily be out there, snow, wind, negative degrees? I don’t care. I will be out there.
-I also live near a dog park and don’t mind going there in the summer sometimes (only to see if I can find leeches
-I am happy to provide many toys (because I like buying them!)
-I have physical disabilities that flare up and get in the way sometimes.

Climate:
-Summers can be hot as hell. Why I’m lazy as shit in the summer I don’t have reliable AC atm.
-Winters are pretty cold (why I live here.. considering moving to somewhere colder to be honest)
-I have a backyard (unfenced) that they can spend time in. Lots of squirrels and rabbits.
-they would be allowed on furniture including my bed!

Commitment:
-I am a home body, I will likely be spending a good chunk of the evenings and nights with her. On the weekend I’m home all the time.
-I don’t think I can brush a dog, I might consider a groomer but I believe that may get quite expensive if I have to keep getting her brushed.
-I sometimes feed dry but prefer to feed wet, raw is simply beyond my realm right now.

Sensory needs. (The weirdly specific stuff.)
-I’d prefer a dog that doesn’t bark too much as I have very strong hearing. I’m against getting vocal cords messed with, and I don’t mind a bark, I’d just prefer it not be constant yapping.
-I hate smell, so is there a way to get a dog that doesn’t smell like dog? Yes I realize I sound unrealistic and insane…

Temperament:
-Easy going
-Lower activity level
-Okay with cats.

Please tell me if my demands are unreasonable and that I shouldn’t get a dog. I want to give a dog the best life it can have, and sometimes that means I’m not their owner.
 
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Some of these things are understandable - like you not being able to groom a dog and having to rely on a groomer instead. And by understandable, I mean there are definitive dog breeds that I can point to that will and won't be big shedders/require a lot of at-home grooming.

But you see...there are some dogs in hyperactive breed categories - let's say, a beagle - that turn out to be lazy. Like wise you're sure to find some hyper as heck Basset hounds, a breed known for laziness. Same thing goes for temperament, prey drive, and pretty much everything else. There are breed standards and a reputable breeder can do their best to breed in the most desirable traits, but dogs aren't a paint-by-numbers type of creature. They are all their own unique individuals with their own personalities.

I'm not saying any of this to dissuade you, just to think on it before you make a leap as a dog is a lifetime commitment and you get a dog and it doesn't fit your ideal, to rehome it would be a process that is stressful for your dog!
 
temporaryacc said:
Welp I’ve finally accepted it! I am in fact, sexually attracted to animals and want to do it. I made a few posts with worries but they’ve all been answered! Thank you to all that helped me :)

I know this post has existed a lot… but I’m pretty weird and don’t live a normal life? I’m very specific I geuss.

I’ll start with this, only tell me characteristics of female dogs. I don’t care about cock size, fuck speed, etc etc.
And for females I’m not particular about pussy size (considering I don’t have a dick and would only use toys her size!)

Activity level:
-I am fucking lazy most of the time.
-But not in winter. If it’s winter I’ll happily be out there, snow, wind, negative degrees? I don’t care. I will be out there.
-I also live near a dog park and don’t mind going there in the summer sometimes (only to see if I can find leeches
-I am happy to provide many toys (because I like buying them!)
-I have physical disabilities that flare up and get in the way sometimes.

Climate:
-Summers can be hot as hell. Why I’m lazy as shit in the summer I don’t have reliable AC atm.
-Winters are pretty cold (why I live here.. considering moving to somewhere colder to be honest)
-I have a backyard (unfenced) that they can spend time in. Lots of squirrels and rabbits.
-they would be allowed on furniture including my bed!

Commitment:
-I am a home body, I will likely be spending a good chunk of the evenings and nights with her. On the weekend I’m home all the time.
-I don’t think I can brush a dog, I might consider a groomer but I believe that may get quite expensive if I have to keep getting her brushed.
-I sometimes feed dry but prefer to feed wet, raw is simply beyond my realm right now.

Sensory needs. (The weirdly specific stuff.)
-I’d prefer a dog that doesn’t bark too much as I have very strong hearing. I’m against getting vocal cords messed with, and I don’t mind a bark, I’d just prefer it not be constant yapping.
-I hate smell, so is there a way to get a dog that doesn’t smell like dog? Yes I realize I sound unrealistic and insane…

Temperament:
-Easy going
-Lower activity level
-Okay with cats.

Please tell me if my demands are unreasonable and that I shouldn’t get a dog. I want to give a dog the best life it can have, and sometimes that means I’m not their owner.
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Have you looked into Akitas?
 
mslullaby said:
Some of these things are understandable - like you not being able to groom a dog and having to rely on a groomer instead. And by understandable, I mean there are definitive dog breeds that I can point to that will and won't be big shedders/require a lot of at-home grooming.

But you see...there are some dogs in hyperactive breed categories - let's say, a beagle - that turn out to be lazy. Like wise you're sure to find some hyper as heck Basset hounds, a breed known for laziness. Same thing goes for temperament, prey drive, and pretty much everything else. There are breed standards and a reputable breeder can do their best to breed in the most desirable traits, but dogs aren't a paint-by-numbers type of creature. They are all their own unique individuals with their own personalities.

I'm not saying any of this to dissuade you, just to think on it before you make a leap as a dog is a lifetime commitment and you get a dog and it doesn't fit your ideal, to rehome it would be a process that is stressful for your dog!
Click to expand...
I expected personality from each dog and I do have work arounds

For activity level I’m happy getting someone to walk them, but it’s not ideal. But possible.

And I’d never rehome if i can help it. I have rescued pets many times (all of my cats are rescued) I don’t like the idea of rehoming since I saw how the cats were after they got here. Took so long for 2 of them to come out of hiding away :(. I’d rehome if the dog was in danger or my other pets were.

Appreciate your feedback, I understand that my demand are a bit too specific and unmanageable.
 
Sheppermutt said:
Huskies have high prey drives, so I wouldn't recommend them. Also lots of shedding, very loud, lots of exercise required. I went with a shepherd mix (looks like 85% german shepherd) and she works with cats pretty well, nobody has died. German Shepherds also need lots of exercise and in general they have high prey drives so that might not work either...
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Thanks for informing me! I’ll keep that in mind.
 
Sheppermutt said:
Now, if you went with a puppy and you are on top of your training game you do have a decent chance of making any breed work well with cats. But it's also half on the cats and while cats are trainable its mostly on their terms. We have 1 feral cat that was raised in our house from a kitten (eyes barely open) and even in that situation he hides 24/7, is terrified of everyone, dog included, etc. My girl doesn't really chase him but if a cat runs by uncontrollably at hyper speed it does get her going. Basically, you can't guarantee a dog will work with cats, even if you try your best.
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I really only worry about on of my cats being kinda a dick, he’s a meanie to my male dog. He’s gotten better but I think he’s my biggest worry.
 
Ted Danson Machine said:
Have you looked into Akitas?
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From what I understand they would not be a good fit. They're hyper, they have a very high prey drive, and they require a lot of exercise. Pretty much everything she isn't looking for.

A dog breed that would fit most (but not all) of your requirements would be something simple like a Labrador. Almost every dog is going to bark and even the low bark breeds are still going to bark/yelp. Another good option would be a gray hound. Despite being known as one of the fastest dog breeds they will happily be couch potatoes as well and in fact enjoy being lazy.
 
FloofyNewfie said:
From what I understand they would not be a good fit. They're hyper, they have a very high prey drive, and they require a lot of exercise. Pretty much everything she isn't looking for.

About the only dog breed that would fit most (but not all) of your requirements would be something simple like a Labrador. Almost every dog is going to bark and even the low bark breeds are still going to bark. Another good option would be a gray hound. Despite being known as one of the fastest dog breeds they will happily be couch potatoes as well and in fact enjoy being lazy.
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that makes sense. My Akitas were mixed with Lab, so they weren't too cray cray
 
FloofyNewfie said:
From what I understand they would not be a good fit. They're hyper, they have a very high prey drive, and they require a lot of exercise. Pretty much everything she isn't looking for.

About the only dog breed that would fit most (but not all) of your requirements would be something simple like a Labrador. Almost every dog is going to bark and even the low bark breeds are still going to bark. Another good option would be a gray hound. Despite being known as one of the fastest dog breeds they will happily be couch potatoes as well and in fact enjoy being lazy.
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Labradors are beautiful. They seem like a fantastic fit.

Grayhounds are so sexy, so sleek and gorgeous.
 
rockymountaindog said:
If its really hot during your summers and you are opposed to brushing than I would probably stay away from the long furred breeds. If it is really cold in the winter than you could always get doggy jackets and booties to help them cope on the really cold days.
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That’s a good idea. I love to buy things for my pets so. They’d definitely be geared in good stuff!
 
Sheppermutt said:
So I'm not sure what you are looking for. You have a male dog already but you are looking for a female dog? If you're not looking to penetrate then really the only thing that matters is if they will work in your home situation and if you can handle and care for them properly. If your male dog is unfixed and you get an unspayed female you will have to worry about keeping them off each other unless you want puppies. (too many puppies in the world as it is)
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The dog is not exactly mine. And I am not interested in male dogs sexually. I would like to give her pleasure (if she accepts it, I’d only get toys her size, so she isn’t hurt!)
 
Labs are pretty easy going and generally get along well with anyone as long as you introduce them😊.

By the way I'm glad you're finally ready to take this step. You have good intentions and are a decent person. I wish you the best of luck.
 
MypupandI69 said:
Labs are pretty easy going and generally get along well with anyone as long as you introduce them😊.

By the way I'm glad you're finally ready to take this step. You have good intentions and are a decent person. I wish you the best of luck.
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Ya labs seems like the right breed so far. I’m gonna make sure I get everything I need and welcome one into my home! And thanks, it’s been hard to accept it, but now I’m finally feeling good about it.
 
Or a golden doodle they only require occasional grooming and don't shed very much. Like most living things if she starts smelling funky it's bath time and there is such a thing as dog perfume. But I think you're just going to have to deal with some things dogs are going to bark (or yodel apparently) it's kinda unavoidable. And certainly you want a dog not a floor mop or a lazy blob. Use them as inspiration to get out and do things or you'll miss out on the better half of nature ya know.
 
MypupandI69 said:
Or a golden doodle they only require occasional grooming and don't shed very much. Like most living things if she starts smelling funky it's bath time and there is such a thing as dog perfume. But I think you're just going to have to deal with some things dogs are going to bark (or yodel apparently) it's kinda unavoidable. And certainly you want a dog not a floor mop or a lazy blob. Use them as inspiration to get out and do things or you'll miss out on the better half of nature ya know.
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Haha floor mop. I do get bursts of energy so an always lazy pup might get boring. Especially in the winter.
 
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