TheRodofGod
Zooville Settler
Absolutely.
Why is it hard to find female partner in beastiality
- Thread starter Okbig73
- Start date
Well no experience but unless a woman is into being watched if a man just wishes to watch grab his dick and screw after why do they or should they want us there. Maybe wrong.
DogBitch2022
Tourist
Bluntly, because all men are a risk until proven otherwise.
Women don't have the luxury of being able to just walk down the street at night, without worrying about her safety to begin with. A woman knows where the cameras are, which streets have the most well lit path, will call friend to talk either them as they walk, let someone know where they are going and when they expect to be back.
Men, outside this community, have a great deal of privilege in regards to navigating the world and not having to think about every details of safety.
Then you throw in something that can result in death or jail for some people... A woman is giving to a great deal of trust to not destroy her life. Anyone in this community, is putting a great deal of trust in each other to not destroy live but women think about this every single day.
Have you though about if these people you opened up to, decide to tell authorities? Do you have a plan in place if they do? What impact this has on those around you? If you had kids, what impact that would have? These are serious questions you need answer to, regardless of your gender.
If someone I know, told me out of the blue, this was a community they would be involved in... I will not tell them I'm in it. I wouldn't react negative, but I wouldn't react positivity. It would be neutral because the risks involved.
I need to know that they would keep it quite. I need to know that they understand that thier openness can mean destruction of thier lives and by extension, potentially mine.
Because there is a high population of men in this community, women are afforded a small luxury in they can sit back, see what men are posting, and cherry pick those who they feel they feel are the safest person to even just DM.
Want a woman to open up? Do the leg work to look into why every man is a threat till otherwise proven. Ask you women friends what men do, all the signs they look for that tell them a man might not be safe. Look into the statistics people not respecting a woman's right to say no and have that no respected.
Without this basic understanding, you will find a unicorn before you find a woman who shared your interests in this community.
I personally know more women, in my local area, who are in this community then I know men. Why? Because I have proven myself to be trustworthy and respectful in their day to day life that over time, they slowly open up more and more about topics that they feel uncomfortable to discuss. The more they feel safer, in those discussions, the more they open up about "taboo" subjects.
So often I lurked, as a woman, because as soon as there was any sign that I was a woman.. it was like a pack of male dogs chasing a female. For every man who was actually respectful, didn't pressure me, didn't make me feel unsafe, didn't make me question there motive... there was hundreds of men who only viewed me as someone to fulfil their need to get off.
Women learn fast to hide, to not disclose they are women to save themselves for the torrent of men who devalue them, whos don't respect that they are living breathing humans who have thier own desires, need and wants.
Are all men like this? No, they are not... but women cannot afford to assume that they are safe.
This isn't a community issue, solely but an every day issue that is excaibated and amplified in such a small community that is heavily dominated by men.
My credentials in all of this? I lived my life as a woman for over 2 decades before I transitioned and I'm telling you right now, your post is every red flag under the sun and there would be no way I would even consider reaching out to you, if I was a woman. Personally, why?
Because you've disclosed to more then one woman, in a year, that you wish to be a part of this community. It signals to me that your desire is stronger then you concerns for your safety or safety of others.
It tells me that you havnt done the leg work to assess if that woman has given any slight signal she shared desire to be in this community and futher tells me your desire outweighs the concerns of safety. You've dropped it in her lap, with little thought, about if she would even be open to it.
You blame a break up on BPD which frankly, is rarely a sole reason. There was something that added to it and the fact you are focusing on someone mental health tells me you may not have a great understanding of mental health, in general.
Your "fed up" tells me that your desire is stronger then safety and trust. Your desire anyone to fill a perceived void in your life over building a mutual, even dynamic relationship. Women are not on this rock in the middle of nowhere space to satisfy you and your desires.
Your lack of a woman as a partner, even outside this community, will not kill you. It can contribute to it but a woman not giving you attention is not the sole reason that will kill you.
My response is based ONLY on OP's orignal post, not responses after because I want you to see how this post, when viewed through the lens of a woman, can signal to a woman you are not someone she may feel safe to even DM.
Yes, this post is going to be uncomfortable to read and if it is then good, it means your listening to a womans perspective.
If my reply make you feel aggressive or combative, I strongly recommend you do some self work and look into why you feel aggressive and combative when the view of a women is expressed.
This is the only response I'm leaving on this post because the amount of emotional labour involved in typing this up, trying to express all these issues and I frankly don't owe anyone my emotional labour. I'm just offering you a perspective to listen to, and hopefully, help you work towards building a relationship that you desire, with someone who desires that, with you.
Women don't have the luxury of being able to just walk down the street at night, without worrying about her safety to begin with. A woman knows where the cameras are, which streets have the most well lit path, will call friend to talk either them as they walk, let someone know where they are going and when they expect to be back.
Men, outside this community, have a great deal of privilege in regards to navigating the world and not having to think about every details of safety.
Then you throw in something that can result in death or jail for some people... A woman is giving to a great deal of trust to not destroy her life. Anyone in this community, is putting a great deal of trust in each other to not destroy live but women think about this every single day.
Have you though about if these people you opened up to, decide to tell authorities? Do you have a plan in place if they do? What impact this has on those around you? If you had kids, what impact that would have? These are serious questions you need answer to, regardless of your gender.
If someone I know, told me out of the blue, this was a community they would be involved in... I will not tell them I'm in it. I wouldn't react negative, but I wouldn't react positivity. It would be neutral because the risks involved.
I need to know that they would keep it quite. I need to know that they understand that thier openness can mean destruction of thier lives and by extension, potentially mine.
Because there is a high population of men in this community, women are afforded a small luxury in they can sit back, see what men are posting, and cherry pick those who they feel they feel are the safest person to even just DM.
Want a woman to open up? Do the leg work to look into why every man is a threat till otherwise proven. Ask you women friends what men do, all the signs they look for that tell them a man might not be safe. Look into the statistics people not respecting a woman's right to say no and have that no respected.
Without this basic understanding, you will find a unicorn before you find a woman who shared your interests in this community.
I personally know more women, in my local area, who are in this community then I know men. Why? Because I have proven myself to be trustworthy and respectful in their day to day life that over time, they slowly open up more and more about topics that they feel uncomfortable to discuss. The more they feel safer, in those discussions, the more they open up about "taboo" subjects.
So often I lurked, as a woman, because as soon as there was any sign that I was a woman.. it was like a pack of male dogs chasing a female. For every man who was actually respectful, didn't pressure me, didn't make me feel unsafe, didn't make me question there motive... there was hundreds of men who only viewed me as someone to fulfil their need to get off.
Women learn fast to hide, to not disclose they are women to save themselves for the torrent of men who devalue them, whos don't respect that they are living breathing humans who have thier own desires, need and wants.
Are all men like this? No, they are not... but women cannot afford to assume that they are safe.
This isn't a community issue, solely but an every day issue that is excaibated and amplified in such a small community that is heavily dominated by men.
My credentials in all of this? I lived my life as a woman for over 2 decades before I transitioned and I'm telling you right now, your post is every red flag under the sun and there would be no way I would even consider reaching out to you, if I was a woman. Personally, why?
Because you've disclosed to more then one woman, in a year, that you wish to be a part of this community. It signals to me that your desire is stronger then you concerns for your safety or safety of others.
It tells me that you havnt done the leg work to assess if that woman has given any slight signal she shared desire to be in this community and futher tells me your desire outweighs the concerns of safety. You've dropped it in her lap, with little thought, about if she would even be open to it.
You blame a break up on BPD which frankly, is rarely a sole reason. There was something that added to it and the fact you are focusing on someone mental health tells me you may not have a great understanding of mental health, in general.
Your "fed up" tells me that your desire is stronger then safety and trust. Your desire anyone to fill a perceived void in your life over building a mutual, even dynamic relationship. Women are not on this rock in the middle of nowhere space to satisfy you and your desires.
Your lack of a woman as a partner, even outside this community, will not kill you. It can contribute to it but a woman not giving you attention is not the sole reason that will kill you.
My response is based ONLY on OP's orignal post, not responses after because I want you to see how this post, when viewed through the lens of a woman, can signal to a woman you are not someone she may feel safe to even DM.
Yes, this post is going to be uncomfortable to read and if it is then good, it means your listening to a womans perspective.
If my reply make you feel aggressive or combative, I strongly recommend you do some self work and look into why you feel aggressive and combative when the view of a women is expressed.
This is the only response I'm leaving on this post because the amount of emotional labour involved in typing this up, trying to express all these issues and I frankly don't owe anyone my emotional labour. I'm just offering you a perspective to listen to, and hopefully, help you work towards building a relationship that you desire, with someone who desires that, with you.
OutFarming
Citizen of Zooville
30% of men between 18-30 have not had sex in the last year.
You want to shoot exclusively for a tiny minority of the population you best have some chops if you don't want to be forever alone
Women here aren't different from women elsewhere on the Internet, well, higher proportion of lesbians and catfish and sorry ladies love you all but higher proportion of mental issues.
they are also outnumbered on here worse than on tinder, you need to stand out from the crowd, now just being a non creeper gets you half way there but how are you going to be the #1 candidate among the 20 guys left competing?
What have you got that they don't?
Even if you win that game and get a date, are you even going to be remotely compatible with her?
Is she going to be happy with you?
Ask yourself if being with a women who is disgusted by this would really be worse than being in here for the next 10 years getting Catfished.
Also check out girls on fet and at munches who like bad dragon, it's certainly not 100% but that hits far more often than even I would have expected, keep in mind that plenty of people of both genders who are turned on by it, here and in fet will NEVER do it, erotic in the mind and in RP but to taboo
.
You want to shoot exclusively for a tiny minority of the population you best have some chops if you don't want to be forever alone
Women here aren't different from women elsewhere on the Internet, well, higher proportion of lesbians and catfish and sorry ladies love you all but higher proportion of mental issues.
they are also outnumbered on here worse than on tinder, you need to stand out from the crowd, now just being a non creeper gets you half way there but how are you going to be the #1 candidate among the 20 guys left competing?
What have you got that they don't?
Even if you win that game and get a date, are you even going to be remotely compatible with her?
Is she going to be happy with you?
Ask yourself if being with a women who is disgusted by this would really be worse than being in here for the next 10 years getting Catfished.
Also check out girls on fet and at munches who like bad dragon, it's certainly not 100% but that hits far more often than even I would have expected, keep in mind that plenty of people of both genders who are turned on by it, here and in fet will NEVER do it, erotic in the mind and in RP but to taboo
.
Where?
Guys, I am not saying l succeeded because I haven’t but showing her your dick telling her she’s hot may get you a thank you or nice dick. Unless you some how stimulate her mind and curiosity your getting NO WHERE!
Renee
Citizen of Zooville
This is good advice. There's more than an incidental correlation. Don't go thinking most of them will be, but in my experience, 50% to 60% of the women that collect fantasy dildos like zoo fantasies as well, and most of those that like the fantasies say that they would probably want to get mounted if they felt safe and the dog are pony were to get aroused and want to breed.
I spent years on the old Bad Dragon forums before it got deleted. I would build up friendships geeking out over big toys there, then after a certain level of comfort I would ask them about zoo sex fantasies or erotic stories. Don't just throw out, "would you like to get fucked by a dog". That's too blunt and lacks nuance. With real people there is nuance.
Someone else mentioned Fetlife and munches. That's another pool where the interest in zoo sex will be higher than in the general population at large. I have gone to just a couple of munches, but never enough to build that much trust. On the other hand, I did go to one particular kink party monthly. I got to know the hosts well enough and after a couple of years asked them if they knew of anyone into zoo sex fantasies. They said no, but seemed to like that I shared something so private.
Then, I was in the polyamory community for years. I'm still on the fringes of it, sort of. At one poly Halloween party I admitted that I liked incest stories and aslo zoo sex stories of women getting bred. There were only 2 women in that conversation. Neither of them I was attracted to. Both admitted to liking zoo fantasies, and one started gushing about tentacle porn (not my thing). I think someone asked the people on the couch what their naughty kinks were, and I threw mines out there, and was glad to see it wasn't shot down. I had a feeling those few people would not be judgemental. I think others at that party would have been. Try to sort the people out that are strict rule followers and avoid those that correct people a lot.
I have been looking for this since I'm an adult. I probably told the most friends with benefits women this, back in my 20's. These women that were having casual sex with me, and were the type to want threesomes, were usually at least somewhat curious about getting mounted. 2 of them wanted it, but I wasn't willing to risk it with them in case they would get mad that I didn't want a long term loving relationship with them after. 2 other FWB's were the type to like BDSM restraint fantasies, and said that after they'd be willing to be mounted if they got tied up and blindfolded. Both of those last 2 were more conservative/lived in more evangelical or Baptist areas.
Overall Opinion
It's wise to peel the onion slowly. Be sure you can have conversations with them about fantasies or naughty things that are maybe kinky, but more tame. Then, if you like stories of consensual incest, that seems to be a baby step to seeing how they will react. For me, I'm more comfortable admitting that. I'm sure there's other mid-way fantasies that reveal how they react to admitting edgy kinks. Maybe it's gang bangs, casual sex without condoms (are they a rule or norm follower? ) maybe it's fantasy dildos...... Maybe it's consensual non-consent fantasies, or maybe it's a threesome with a stranger invited, and she is blindfolded.
There's going to be some zoo women that are not into BDSM or other edgy kinks. The only advice I can give with them, is look for the type that genuinely loves animals. They might have studied biology in college. Try your best to see their opinion about social norms and strict rule following before mentioning anything zoo.
For example, I'm friends with a woman that works in the field of biology right now. She owns a male dog and is against neutering. I've been very tempted, but I haven't taken the risk to mention zoo sexual stuff. I'd have to figure out a way that isn't blunt or overboard, but maybe is more about zoophilia and zoo relationships, rather than from a kink or fetish angle. She's also not monogamous.... so.... yeah. She does think outside of the box.
Meeting from Zoo forums
The best advice is as those people said, just build friendships here. If you engage on more of the non sex-focused threads, you might learn how to more accurately tell the sex of the person posting. They might reveal it in a few posts out of hundreds, but also appear real in a number of ways.
Don't be naive and move fast. I've mentioned it on other threads, but I was setup by an undercover the hooked me on Beast Forum. Thankfully I was much wiser in person than I had been on the tech savvy front. I never propositioned her. Her questions became more reaching, and I sniffed out the rat. I was tempted to become a smart ass, but I ended the visit smoothly and safely went home.
I had also met with a man/woman couple off of BF. They were indeed real. She was reluctant to get mounted that day, but she called me a few weeks later and was ecstatic that she had experienced it. Weeks later she was more comfortable and ready, and a different owner had an experienced stud. She thanked me for the visit again. Sometimes real couples only post to the personal ads section. They are more used to the swinger / hotwifing world, and they don't engage in the long conversations elsewhere on forums. They are used to going in and posting an ad, then meeting up, when it comes to adult sites. Even though I think most of these couples are real, still be careful and try to be wise, if anyone reading this is considering meeting with a couple. Now and then real couples are owners and are looking for women that will go have an experience with them, especially a first time experience.
Good luck!
Edit to add:
I mentioned my Bad Dragon toy collection on an Okcupid profile once. It didn't help me, but I also didn't get into any trouble or get my profile deleted. That was probably 5+ years ago. Things might be different now. It's probably worth mentioning fantasy dildo play on an r4r ad on reddit, but again, don't go asking for zoo sex interest soon. Supposedly, before Craigslist personals was done away with, posting an ad about your horse dildo might get you some unwanted replies from people that want you to do time, if you actually had a dog or pony available too.
xaranit436
Tourist
If the requirement for your partner is to share a sexual fetish with you, and you just wanna see her getting railed by a dog, you should try and reconsider that. A loved one is much much more than just someone to satisfy your sexual desires, is someone you trust, someone you wanna share your entire life with, someone you are confortable with,...
I met my partner without ever speaking about beast, and we started dating without a single mention about beast, he is someone that makes me happy and i trusted him, later on since i trusted him a lot i layered the ground to tell him about beast, and he accepted it nicely, he never looked into it but he is ok with me being into it, even more he dosent mind at all if i practise it.
Just find someone that you both love, trust, and respect each other, any fetish you have is just an extra if its shared or not, it should not be a requirement.
I met my partner without ever speaking about beast, and we started dating without a single mention about beast, he is someone that makes me happy and i trusted him, later on since i trusted him a lot i layered the ground to tell him about beast, and he accepted it nicely, he never looked into it but he is ok with me being into it, even more he dosent mind at all if i practise it.
Just find someone that you both love, trust, and respect each other, any fetish you have is just an extra if its shared or not, it should not be a requirement.
Renee
Citizen of Zooville
You bring up a very wise point, but some of us feel that we might not be able to be as happy if we don't get compatibility on the issue of zoo sex. I know that it can be okay, because I was with a woman for 6 years that accepted my fantasies, but..... it was still hard to not have that be a part of our life, especially coming back home after vacations, etc..... Big highs can lead to deeper lows, then I think about what I don't have.
The same argument is often made in the world of cuckolding online. Lots of us don't want to be in a relationship that does not include our most favorite types of sex.
On the other hand, those of us that are aware don't expect to have a "kink dispenser" as a partner. Also, having only a sexual practice or preference in common is not enough.
I think what most of us guys want to do is check off the fetish box...... then also look for common ground on the non-sexual things. Occasionally I see women doing the same thing, except they look for a guy that checks the Dom box, then they also screen for compatibility in other areas. That may be the less ideal way of falling in love, but..... those of us that have been sexually mismatched have a fear of being sexually mismatched AGAIN.
For some of us it feels like less of just getting what we want, but instead a big fear of being mismatched. Maybe we've seen a lot of mismatched relationships between other people and also been in that position ourselves.
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ralphertonj
Tourist
I wish my gf was into it but I don't think she would be and I'll still love her just the same
Dogdaddy69
Esteemed Citizen of ZV
It's not hard.
You have to put in the work though.
The dogslut fairy isn't going to knock on your door and deliever.
Gotta earn it, but it isn't hard at all.
You have to put in the work though.
The dogslut fairy isn't going to knock on your door and deliever.
Gotta earn it, but it isn't hard at all.
ZooswingingMD
Tourist
Had a few ask me over the years how I’d been so fortunate to have been in a relationship with 3 different women who were zoo. It’s my opinion that looking for a partner who is zoo is an awful long shot.
In my case, I was in relationships where I knew she was open minded sexually and I had built enough trust to enable honest and candid talks about what excited us sexually. Their reactions ranged from “that’s interesting” to “that’s fucking hot!”
So in a nutshell, I feel that you have to build a strong foundation of trust in a relationship first, then open up after that foundation is built. Putting your sexual desires out there first comes off as creepy and desperate, IMHO.
In my case, I was in relationships where I knew she was open minded sexually and I had built enough trust to enable honest and candid talks about what excited us sexually. Their reactions ranged from “that’s interesting” to “that’s fucking hot!”
So in a nutshell, I feel that you have to build a strong foundation of trust in a relationship first, then open up after that foundation is built. Putting your sexual desires out there first comes off as creepy and desperate, IMHO.
Swezoo6
Zooville Settler
Ive talked about it with a cpl but none that would take it one step further from just being a fantasy. I have met a few girls WITH experiences in their early 20s but no one wants to do it again. Social anxiety and such doesnt help and many girls here stay as far away as possible because of all the begging and creeps roaming.
But I still hope I will meet "the one"
But I still hope I will meet "the one"
Dogdaddy69
Esteemed Citizen of ZV
I feel you there. And, you're right about the females here. The site is a little too lenient with all the silly shit some of these men accounts are allowed to do and do freely. I, and many others, feel they really should set the bar for acceptable behavior/comments/actions a little higher than it currently is, because it does have an effect on how the real females here interact with the site and the members here. And, who can blame them?Ive talked about it with a cpl but none that would take it one step further from just being a fantasy. I have met a few girls WITH experiences in their early 20s but no one wants to do it again. Social anxiety and such doesnt help and many girls here stay as far away as possible because of all the begging and creeps roaming.
But I still hope I will meet "the one"
The good news for you is that the site really IS a good resource for meeting and talking to females who share your tastes. Be normal, be rational, be grounded and level headed in your interactions with EVERYONE on site, by that I mean male and female alike, no need to tolerate abuse and all that.
Above all, just be a regular guy, and don't be afraid to show that. People will notice that, and they will respond in kind. It takes time to establish who and what you are here, just like it would in any in-person situation.
The biggest fail here is that people want instant gratification, and, this isn't a store, and it's not craigslist for dogs.
Time and patience pays off here, but acting like it's a shopping center for dogsluts is just not going to work.
Take the time, and take time to to interact with the overall community. Just be you. You can damn well believe people will be looking at your comment history. Why? Because this is the internet, all we get here are words, and you can make those up on the spot. So, people pay WAY less attention to what you say when you are talking to them directly than they pay to what you've been saying when you weren't talking to them and you had no direct agenda.
That concept is an area a lot of people neglect. But, you can believe me when I say it's important, and you should pay close attention to it. It matters.
Swezoo6
Zooville Settler
Freakin A dude!
Spot on there. Many users (mostly men) throw their hooks out like a trawler immediately after joining. Even going as far as stalking female users.
No introduction, no hello, no nonsexual talk. Just a "Hi I wanna f#ck a dog or watch a girl do it hmu". And it is so annoying when you just wanna chit chat with someone likeminded.
I also feel like there are too many gay/trans/cd men on here giving no space at all for anyone wanting a regular chat without being sexual in nature. I am quite tolerant about others sexuality but it gets my gears grinding when you can't express your own because they feel they are more privileged than everyone else.
I know what I want and I do NOT see animals as pleasure toys. People need to educate themselves a bit more and stop watching commercial crap with animals being abused.
And for anyone who wants to talk I am here. But try to stay away from too many sexually loaded questions etc.
Have a Nice one
Dogdaddy69
Esteemed Citizen of ZV
I would say, just keep being you and have the patience to be here and active. It won't happen overnight, but, given time, it just might.Freakin A dude!
Spot on there. Many users (mostly men) throw their hooks out like a trawler immediately after joining. Even going as far as stalking female users.
No introduction, no hello, no nonsexual talk. Just a "Hi I wanna f#ck a dog or watch a girl do it hmu". And it is so annoying when you just wanna chit chat with someone likeminded.
I also feel like there are too many gay/trans/cd men on here giving no space at all for anyone wanting a regular chat without being sexual in nature. I am quite tolerant about others sexuality but it gets my gears grinding when you can't express your own because they feel they are more privileged than everyone else.
I know what I want and I do NOT see animals as pleasure toys. People need to educate themselves a bit more and stop watching commercial crap with animals being abused.
And for anyone who wants to talk I am here. But try to stay away from too many sexually loaded questions etc.
Have a Nice one
saddlebum66
Supreme Citizen of ZV
A good sign? like the tattooed paws, it means nothing. "Adam and Eve" has shops all over, adverts on Television in the US, and carries dildos and vibrators that, though stylized, are knot shapes. They've been doing so since the early 80s. And how do you get to see the toys in the dresser or nightstand? Snoop? If your enamorata catches you doing so, its not likely to go farther than the hallway or front stoop.
There are women here. Yeah they're rare, but they're here. You need to up your game, figure out what you can give HER. If she has her dog, home and a job, she needs you why? Answer that question and you have a chance. Over at BF, I found ten. All worth the effort.
HWW
Tourist
Very true, excellent advice.
DaddyDomDog
Esteemed Citizen of ZV
I found one just making jokes. On here most accounts are men pretending. The odd genuine woman shows up but you won't find them this way. You're better off posting about interests and trying to make genuine connections instead of going around "woman please fuck dog for me"
YoungBreedee
Tourist
I agree! A lot of girls... me included... are more reserved when it comes to sharing what we are into. In today's world, things like revenge porn exist and it's terrifying to think of what would happen if this kinda stuff was shared with family/friends/colleagues. My best advice is get to know a person for their personality and inner beauty first before then having a deep conversation about what you like/want when it comes to sex- talk it out and put it all out on the table so you can both have an enjoyable and pleasurable experience.
inamorata008
Zooville Settler
Very well put, and v accurate. Takes a long time to develop trust. Lots of flaky and unreliable people out there - guys mainly, but there are more than a few women / girls in the same category.
K9Evangelist
Tourist
In real life I've discovered that a woman will drop hints once she feels emotionally and physically safe with a guy. And she thinks he's very open minded.
So let a woman know you're not a prude and don't push things. Be patient and don't be a jerk. And learn the art of dropping hints that can be taken several ways.
So let a woman know you're not a prude and don't push things. Be patient and don't be a jerk. And learn the art of dropping hints that can be taken several ways.
M
MrsShemon
Guest
Correct. For someone to share that they are in to something like this, a huge amount of trust is needed.
She needs to feel that she can trust you to 100% and that you would never do something that would risk it to be known.
And that kind of trust takes some time to earn.
Exceptions do happens, of course. Someone that just wants to "Find a dog to breed me" can't be compared to a girlfriend that opens up about her darkest desires to her boy/girlfriend.
K9Evangelist
Tourist
If a girl doesn't open up to you, you need to think about why she doesn't. It's time for some serious reflection. It could be she won't open up to anyone. Or she just won't open up to you because you haven't earned her trust. Too many men don't understand how important trust is. They're always trying to "game" the system and manipulate others. And women are on the alert for that.
inamorata008
Zooville Settler
100% agree with this. I have 2 online g/fs who have similar interests, neither of whom I encountered on here but on other non-zoo sites, but both of whom I had been talking to for well over a year. Once suspicions had been aroused that they might be interested, it was very much a question of subtle hints and questions, at each time being fully prepared to back off or change tack if they responded negatively. As it is, one is 100% into the topic, and the other is curious and very keen to engage my interests and participate in role play. But establishing the trust first was essential, we were talking about all sorts of things first before this topic was broached.
inamorata008
Zooville Settler
Can I just say I applaud the inclusion of the word enamorata / inamorata in this post...
vargasbintoon
Tourist
agreed with all of this. Men have a high probability of being dangerous, or failing that, just being annoying and weird. Couple that with a less common sexual interest, or at least one that's looked down enough upon to *seem* less common than it really is, and you have a combination where it's obvious that it will be on the rare side to find a woman irl who's into it. Even if they *are* into it, they may never admit it if you mention it to them because the risks are too great.
All it takes is you becoming a scorned lover for them to be faced with the possibility of you blabbing about her sexual interests to anyone that will listen, or worse, sharing pictures or what not that you still possess.
I've warmed up to the idea recently of bringing up my sexual interests earlier in the course of forming a relationship with a woman, but if I were to do that, I'd have to be a little more clever about it. Maybe act a little bestial during sex. Being a bit beastlike and "rough", maybe letting out some sounds that are vaguely growl-like and see if she responds to it. Maybe watch porn together and randomly 'find' a video where a girl is using a bad dragon toy on herself. Be comfortable and assertive in your more common kinks and establish trust that you would never betray that side of her, regardless of what happens in your relationship.
OP is 22 so he might just need some time to mature, but I'm telling you OP that you need to figure out how you want to present yourself as a mature man. I'm not saying you aren't, necessarily, but you probably come off as a 22 year old. You need to exude a sense of safety with your partners and you need to actually *live* that. She needs to trust you and you need to actually do everything you need to do to deserve that trust.
