Top things not to say during sex

[oldgoat75]

I think i'll stick to the dog,I can feel him in me

 

[saddlebum66]

Wait a sec, babycake....I have to pull the quilt off, so the chickee under the bed can breathe

 

[oldgoat75]

well that was a waste of 30mins.

 

[Ondine]

Can you slow down a little bit?

 

[saddlebum66]

That? Oh....gonorrhea of the big toe....but that bitch now has a case of Athlete's Twat!

 

[pupwhoshaggedme]

If you haven't been able to come out to your significant other because they are against zoo.....saying your pet's name while having sex lol.

 

[saddlebum66]

No, Darlin'....thats not ALL of it....its just enough to win the prize

 

[KendallRae]

I just pooped.

 

[Pillar]

Damn you're cold.

 

[oldgoat75]

love you in me, as long as i don't have to look at you

 

[Pillar]

I'd rather jerk off.

 

[caloumal974]

ha! ... je sens un truc là !

 

[oldgoat75]

pass the tv remote

 

[draco7215]

Is it in yet?

 

[oldgoat75]

you need to shower more,,

 

[saddlebum66]

Why did I call you a "safe harbor" girl? Because there's not a chance of hitting both sides at the same time

 

[FloofyNewfie]

Damn girl, you seem to be able to take a fist and a half. Just how many dick have been inside you? I'm not small, but sex with you feels like throwing a hot-dog down a water well!

 

[aragos32727]

How to have Rodeo sex instructions.
Step 1: initiate sex with your girlfriend.
Step 2: please turn in the doggy style position. Step 3: whisper in her ear "I fucked your sister".
Step 4: hold on

 

[Huskeroni]

Do you smell it? The smelly smell that smells smelly…
My bad, I think I left the fish outside the fridge!

 

[Bigpaws_Bear]

I've already "fished out" 2 used condoms, should I expect more?

 

[saddlebum66]

When you said you wanted me to "yodel in the Canyon" it never occurred to me you meant The GRAND Canyon.....

 

[Pillar]

Joe Rogan, AMERICA! ??

 

[CetaceanLover23]

Man to the woman: "Holy shit is that a fucking cheeseburger up there?!" XD

 

[oldgoat75]

Don't know why i bother,your not worth the effort

 

[FloofyNewfie]

Huh, now I realize why everyone says that canine pussy feel better than a woman's. Who knew?

 

[Pillar]

Don't know why i bother,your not worth the effort

Damn dude, that's a burn.

 

[James85]

Get the squirrel!

 

[FordLannock]

What do you mean wrong hole? You're sister likes it this way! Guess you're not identical twins after all!

 

[Furf2b2b]

ARF ? WTF ? You're Knott my Wife , And Knott MY House , BUTT , YOU've GOT a hot ASS to fuck STILL!!

 

[oldgoat75]

what do you mean your wife doesn't know you like screwing men,,really looking forward to the look on her face when i tell her.