Top things not to say during sex

[420Fatty]

If I were asked, I wouldn't mind, but I guess that's just me.

Now, what not to say...

"Hi, I work for the US Census Bureau."

More respectable than selling insurance. Though I have to wonder what's the point of the census when you KNOW 90% of the money goes to our war based economy. What's that, you can't kill a virus with a nuke and we lack the proper tools needed to fight said virus? Oh nooooes, I feel so bad for yoooou.

 

[pferdefreund]

Did you know, that e to the (i times pi) plus 1 equals 0 ?

 

[Mare Lover 1975]

But my mare loves it when I do that.

 

[Pillar]

I'm telling mommy all the mean things you say about me.

 

[ShadowFox88]

Wife: Your dick tastes like Dog pussy!

 

[ShadowFox88]

Husband: Your pussy tastes like Horse jizz

 

[FloofyNewfie]

Wife: Your dick tastes like Dog pussy!

Me to the wife: Wait? How do you know what dog pussy tastes like? *raises eyebrow*

Edit: Ope, your second post just showed up for some reason.

 

[Pillar]

Damn it, I knew I was going to fuck this up!

 

[Knot4U]

Oops wrong hole, sorry!!!

 

[Pillar]

Can I stick this in your ear? What do you mean "your penis won't fit?"

 

[420Fatty]

I love you.

 

[RedBeast]

Have you got a bag for my head because yours has fallen off

 

[Pillar]

Are you gay?

 

[Bigpaws_Bear]

Are you gay?

No but my boyfriend is.

 

[Knot4U]

Are you gay?

Yes, aren't you ?

 

[Bigpaws_Bear]

Yes, aren't you ?

I sucked a little cock in High School, but not enough to claim to be Bi.

 

[Knot4U]

I sucked a little cock in High School, but not enough to claim to be Bi.

Maybe it's time for you to suck a big cock.

 

[IAmAFunGuy]

City Folk Be Like:
"Why does your cock taste like bacon?"
Rednecks Be Like:
"I'm using bacon grease for lube"

 

[Bigpaws_Bear]

Maybe it's time for you to suck a big cock.

Bring it!

 

[knottyguymke]

That's a rash, not a herpes sore

 

[420Fatty]

Our son is a better fuck than you are.

 

[Reeferwolf]

By the way your mom called.

 

[420Fatty]

Not everyone who voted for trump is a racist, But every racist voted for trump.

 

[Pillar]

You're such a cuck.

 

[420Fatty]

You're such a cuck.

This is more confusing than anything else.
Are you fucking a guy while his wife who is pregnant with your child watches or what the fuck?

 

[Stoli]

You have cancer.

 

[Bigpaws_Bear]

I failed my HIV test again yesterday,

 

[IAmAFunGuy]

I know we've been trying to get pregnant, for nearly a year now. I hate to tell you this, but I'm not able to have kids due to an accident that involves a pair of scissors.

 

[Painted Pony]

I failed my HIV test again yesterday,

You didn't study hard enough!

What do you mean that's four inches?! I measured it myself!

 

[IAmAFunGuy]

City Folk Be Like:
"Why does your cock taste like bacon?"
Rednecks Be Like:
"I'm using bacon grease for lube"

Also Redneck:
"You said you wanted to suck a pig"