Thinking about telling my best friend

[Olivertheaussie]

I think it's my turn to write a post like this. Me and my best friend, both 21 yo guys, have been friends for coming up on 10 years. He knows, almost, everything about and I know almost everything about him. Tonight we were playing a few rounds of cs:go and an opportunity arose where I could confess my sexuality to him but I didn't take it. He's not the kind of person to judge anyone for anything, he just takes it as "to each their own". I'm very nervous about this part of me becoming known to anyone that I haven't met through zoo and beast medias. Here, discord, kik, etc. How does telling someone you see as a brother differ from telling a family member/significant other. Should I tell him or keep it secret, above all I'm worried that because of the taboo nature of being a zoo it could end our friendship.

 

[egoldstein]

I can't say whether you should or shouldn't, that is for you to decide as you know them and the risk is yours.

I've shared that information with some people and I haven't had it be an issue, but I will say that for the most part people don't really want to know. Unless you have a compelling reason or the friend is actively asking, I would suggest keeping it to yourself.
Share that part of you with the community here and if you trust your friend and they broach the topic, maybe consider sharing then, but there's usually little to gain and much to lose.

 

[MypupandI69]

My best friend trusted me with his bad experiences in his past. I trusted him with this secret. We both except each other for who we are and all though he doesn't understand it he still has my back just as much as I have his. If you and your friend have the level of trauma in your relationship that will keep you together to hell and back no matter what the fuck happens like me and my friend does he will try to see your point of view. And even if he doesn't understand he'll still except you but that's a 1:1000000 type of friendship to have. And really that's the only friend you can really trust with everything.

 

[rockymountaindog]

I have always contemplated telling some of my closest friends. But I always fear the backlash and resentment. Doesn't help that we have grown apart in the last few years. I kind of hinted at it with one of my not so close gay friends hoping that maybe he could be more understanding. Boy was I wrong about that. I have stay quiet about the subject ever since.

 

[Olivertheaussie]

I have always contemplated telling some of my closest friends. But I always fear the backlash and resentment. Doesn't help that we have grown apart in the last few years. I kind of hinted at it with one of my not so close gay friends hoping that maybe he could be more understanding. Boy was I wrong about that. I have stay quiet about the subject ever since.

I think he has a clue about it because I once commented on a "beautiful husky" I saw and he made a suggestive comment in return but I haven't broached the subject since.

 

[MypupandI69]

I would ask his opinion on certain subjects such as animal marriage or mention an interesting porn video that you saw mention that you don't necessarily agree with it but find it intriguing. If he reacts negatively then deny everything and change the topic to idk lesbians or something. That's the only way I can think of opening up about it without opening up about it and outing yourself. It's not bullet proof but hey no methods other than not bringing it up in the first place are.

 

[FloofyNewfie]

You know your own friend more than any of us on here. But, I will say, once the cat is out of the bag, the cat is out of the bag. There isn't any turning back once you've told someone.

I've told 2 of my best friends and one went fine, and the other not so much. I've told this story before, and don't feel like repeating myself, so I'll keep it as brief as I can.

1st friend I had known for a few years at the time. In that time we had grown to be really good friends. One day we were discussing what kinks we had (and to be clear, I DO NOT see zoophilia as a kink, but rather a sexual orientation.) But, I mentioned that I was sexually attracted to animals and had done sexual things with them in the past. He asked a few questions about it. And, in the end he was like "You do you. Different folks, different strokes." He still occasionally asks if I plan to settle down with a girlfriend, because I don't think he quite understands just how zooey I am. But overall, nothing bad ever came of it. We don't really talk about it, but no harm was done.

2nd friend, it was a different story. I had known this guy for probably over 8 years at the time. At that time I was suffering through some manic episodes and ended up telling him about my orientation during a weak point in time. At first he seemed fine by it, he thought it was odd, but he knew I was an animal lover at heart. A week or two later he was frantically messaging me worried that I was hurting and raping animals. But after a somewhat lengthy conversation, I managed to calm him down. He was like, "yeah, I know you love animals. I should have known better than to freak out like that" well, that was the gist of the resolution to that conversation anyways. We hung out a few more times, but after 1 or 1.5 or maybe 2 months after I had told him, he 100% ghosted me. He still would hang out with other friends regularly, but he was completely done with me. I thought we were pretty damn close at the time, but... apparently not close enough to accept my zoosexuality.

So, if you do plan to tell your friend, be careful. I thought for sure that those two friends would accept me for me. They knew me, and I knew them. But, only 1/2 people I've told I'm still in contact with. Luckily the second now ex-friend, kept my secret as far as I'm aware. So, at least there's that.