Think it's possible to get a wild deer to fuck you

UR20Z said:
As someone who has interacted with wild deer, up to and including successfully completing a mating with one of the does in the local herd - after putting in roughly 6 years of familiarization/trust-building - I can safely say that you obviously don't have a fucking CLUE how dangerous, unpredictable, and outright deadly even a DOE can be, never mind the raging, mindless, EXCEEDINGLY well-armed "I WANNA FUCK, AND I WANNA FUCK RIGHT NOW!" machine that is a buck in rut. There's not a trace of "dramatic" about it. Potential for about 3.2 metric fuck-tons of "traumatic", yes, but damn near zero "dramatic" unless it's built into the reporting of the story after it's already over.
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Ok good for you but you're alive, and just like there are videos and stories of aggressive deer there are video and stories of incredibly docile deer; it's almost like they have a brain and depending on what happens in their life they behave differently.

I've only ever been around deer that basically live in suburbia [or rather those are the only deer who have come close to me] and it's like 200 or 300 : 0 [that is 200-300 times they've walked within 20 meters of me and zero attacks, they haven't attacked me once]. But I'm sure if I went around to your neck of the woods I would have an antler in the gut in a couple seconds. Is basically like Jurassic Park where you live.

I'm trying to learn your dialect of mocking overreaction, do you un-der-stand m-e?
 
ADreamOfLiberty said:
Ok good for you but you're alive, and just like there are videos and stories of aggressive deer there are video and stories of incredibly docile deer; it's almost like they have a brain and depending on what happens in their life they behave differently.

I've only ever been around deer that basically live in suburbia [or rather those are the only deer who have come close to me] and it's like 200 or 300 : 0 [that is 200-300 times they've walked within 20 meters of me and zero attacks, they haven't attacked me once]. But I'm sure if I went around to your neck of the woods I would have an antler in the gut in a couple seconds. Is basically like Jurassic Park where you live.

I'm trying to learn your dialect of mocking overreaction, do you un-der-stand m-e?
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Mock away, chuckles. I've lived it, so I know the reality and difficulties involved in dealing with deer at "put penis into vagina" range. When you can make that claim without it beng a lie, we can discuss the niceties. Your response tells me you don't have that knowledge/experience, so it's a waste of time to bother debating the point with you.
 
ScotExotic said:
😂 I was just being cheeky but its funny how serious it was taken. It could work tho. And I do live in an area with a lot of deer. Depends on how acclimated to human activity they are. Doe scent drives them wild in rut and they might become blind to human shape in their sex fueled haze. Best idea out there so far.
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No, it wont....those scents arouse a bucks curiousity, not his Libido. Any scent correct enough to rouse his libido will have a shelf life of fifteen minutes. Preservatives won't allow for it to go any longer, because at the level you'd need to retard spoilage, it would ruin the original scent. You're obviously not hunters.
In the Rut, a doe in heat will generate that scent continuously for about three days then it tapers off. IF she isnt bred and not pregnant, she'll go back into heat in 28 days...for a shorter time....without a buck around she may cycle again, and possibly once more. Then it will stop, because the fawn's survival thru winter is impacted if it is born too late. By then there arent going to be many potent bucks around anyway....their interest will have waned by then. Even at the height of the rut, youd need the real thing to get him interested, but what are you going to do when he sees a mortal enemy in range of his front feet? Dont bet your ass on it, dude.
 
UR20Z said:
Mock away, chuckles. I've lived it, so I know the reality and difficulties involved in dealing with deer at "put penis into vagina" range. When you can make that claim without it beng a lie, we can discuss the niceties. Your response tells me you don't have that knowledge/experience, so it's a waste of time to bother debating the point with you.
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Oh ok, there are no docile deer until someone who has climaxed in a deer says so. Got it.
 
ADreamOfLiberty said:
Oh ok, there are no docile deer until someone who has climaxed in a deer says so. Got it.
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Read the OP.
Lichrat said:
I keep seeing the deer in my area grazing and I can't help but think if I can figure out how to make one want to mount and fuck me I can get plowed at the park often idk just a hot thought
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"Park" deer that have lost their fear of humans are the most dangerous kind. That's why you see all of those signs about not feeding them etc. They have all of the hair trigger defenses of wild deer and no problems at all using them on humans.
 
UR20Z said:
So you've got a death wish, huh? Or didja just not bother to stop and consider the reality that a deer's cock is ROUGHLY 12-16 inches long, it's about as thick as your thumb, about equivalent to a broom handle in stiffness, and more-or-less pointed when ready for use, and that a buck's entire sexual repertoire consists of "mount up, find the hole, *THRUST*, dismount, done"? (yeah, a typical deer mating takes about 5-8 seconds from the time the buck's front feet leave the ground, to all four back on the dirt with the act completed) And that the "*THRUST*" portion lasts for about 3/4 of a second, and during that time, he drives the entire length he's capable of in as deep as he can in a single stroke, hard enough that the thrust often lifts both him and the doe's hind end off the ground, and frequently causes the doe to faceplant hard enough to give her a bloody nose?

No? What a surprise... :rolleyes:

Ponder the idea of lining up a foot or so of broom handle with a semi-sharp end on your asshole, then letting somebody take a nice swing at it with a sledgehammer to drive it in to full depth at a single stroke - no wiggling or fiddling or guiding or "easing it in" - Just one sudden WHACK to full depth, ripping through anything that happens to present an obstacle.

Ever heard of a nifty little thing called "peritonitis"? Doubtful - Suggest you look it up and learn how much fun it is to die from. Word from days gone by says that it's one of the more painful, lingering forms of death there is, short of outright torture. (Think westerns where somebody gets gut-shot as an illustrative case) Tales come down from those days of strong men begging someone to shoot 'em in the head to end the agony.

Still think you're gonna get anything "sexy" out of your "bright idea"?
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Oh wow It's like this crazy thing called imagination is just not real and every post on here should be taken super seriously XD

Ps: you didn't tell me anything I didn't already know so calm your tits xP
 
caikgoch said:
Neither of you have been within the same county as a wild deer. Living deer are very triggered by anything human shape. I've pushed deer out of the way with a tractor (large with a cab kind of tractor) then had them jump and disappear into the distance when I opened the cab door.
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Too much Dismalland. Waaaay too much Bambi. The World, as Cai points out, works in particular ways, will-we, nil-we.
Its not as noticeable out here in Mulie Country, but east of the Rockies and especially east of the Big River, deer often graze quietly in fields, on lawns and in gardens. Even in broad daylight, they will calmly go about stuffing their faces....til a vehicle stops. Its then "BOLT CITY!!!". Every deer in the group is moving at 90 per until they are out of physical sight. At that point they will stop to assess the danger, and move further away from the alarm if needed.
When that white flag goes up, its disappear time because the last one gone is "lunch". Its how deer have evolved, how they've survived wolves, coyotes, pumas, American Lions
( largest ever, luckily extinct for about 10 K years) and every other predator in their world, including Man. We dont retain a 10th of the instincts and hunting skills of our ancestors of even five thousand years ago....no wild deer will willingly be laid hands on alive. Story ends here. Some of us DO know whereof we speak.
 
UR20Z said:
Ah, yes... I remember that one from back when it first got spread around. Dude was lucky to come out of it alive, though as I recall, he was quite the unhappy camper - I forget exact details, but seems to me that when he was interviewed after his trip to the hospital, he spoke of a cracked forearm, multiple pulls, strains, a sprained ankle and fucked up knee, ripped cartilage in his ribs/breastbone, multiple broken ribs and a punctured lung, plus assorted cuts, scrapes and bruises over most of his body.

And y'know how he got that bit of "hot-n-horny fun" started? Yep, that's right... it was supposed to be a "funny" video of how doe-piss could make a buck crazy. He doused himself in it, had his wife/girlfriend start the camera, and you can see how well things went...
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Sometime in 1972 or 73, this happened out on one of the Range areas at Ft Meade, in Md. The nit was Bowhunting, and had taken
a doe's bladder from a friends kill. He dipped Cotton balls in the urine, placed them around his Stump, sat down and promptly fell asleep. Round about full sunup he woke to find an angry buck standing literally between his outstretched legs. The Buck put his head down and shook it on the Hunter's face and chest....and boogied. I helped take the hunter out of there that morning. A Hundred and thirty six stitches later they turned him loose. He looked for that buck for years, but would never give up the way he could identify it. Buck likely died of old age. so did the Hunter, but that was just dumb luck.
 
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These threads always just amuse the shit out of me. I get that the average person knows jack shit about actual deer, and I can see exactly how the same folks would manage to get themselves killed fucking with horses. Literally or figuratively. And horses are thoroughly domesticated, deer never will be and that is a night and day difference.
 
saddlebum66 said:
CWD, I know of....but I dont know about Mad Cow....but I do believe, as a vector, it has to be consumed
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Chronic Wasting Disease, Creutzfeldt–Jakob, Mad Cow, and Scrapie are all the same thing. The various diseases are all caused by a Prion which was undetectable until recent advances in technology so no one ever connected them.
 
caikgoch said:
Chronic Wasting Disease, Creutzfeldt–Jakob, Mad Cow, and Scrapie are all the same thing. The various diseases are all caused by a Prion which was undetectable until recent advances in technology so no one ever connected them.
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I see. Insidious little nasties, prions.
 
caikgoch said:
Chronic Wasting Disease, Creutzfeldt–Jakob, Mad Cow, and Scrapie are all the same thing. The various diseases are all caused by a Prion which was undetectable until recent advances in technology so no one ever connected them.
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Purely as a matter of interest, CJD, Mad Cow, and Scrapie are definitely the human, bovine, and ovine (sheep) respectively, presentations of the same affliction, all caused by the same prion. CWD *MAY OR MAY NOT* be the same prion, though the last data I saw seemed to be leaning away from it being identical - perhaps a "mutation" (if prions can be said to mutate with any accuracy) of the CJD/mad cow/scrapie prion, and apparently confined to deer only, so far as could be determined when i found the discussion. Then there's the (so far, anyway...) deer-only (and apparently geographically isolated to a few cases in northeast Minnesota and the northern tip of Wisconsin, with a couple suspected cases in Maine) condition sometimes called "Blue Tongue" or "Drunk Deer Syndrome" - both names derived from the most obvious symptoms - that, according to the most current evidence I'm aware of, SEEMS to be a completely different, previously unidentified infection that may or may not be a prion.

Fair warning: "current" in this case means "what I stumbled across on the topic roughly 2 years ago" - Whether it remains accurate today is a "take your best guess" concept...
 
UR20Z said:
CWD *MAY OR MAY NOT* be the same prion,
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I'm basing my opinions on research ongoing in West Texas. TPW is sure enough to have a reporting and quarantine system in place. My introduction was through Forest Service contacts (TAMU) 20 years ago.
 
"We're good, it's our pet."

And is why people say that "tame" deer are just wild deer that learned not to be afraid of humans.

If you want a real wild animal that will hump you, go to moose country. Moose are so lost in the rut that will hump statues, cars, even freight trains. No promises on outcomes.
 
caikgoch said:
"We're good, it's our pet."

And is why people say that "tame" deer are just wild deer that learned not to be afraid of humans.

If you want a real wild animal that will hump you, go to moose country. Moose are so lost in the rut that will hump statues, cars, even freight trains. No promises on outcomes.
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A good many years back (at least 10, maybe closer to 20) someone posted a sequence of stills showing a moose doing his damndest to play a nice little game of "hide-the-salami" with what looked to be a roughly 1/2-life-size bronze statue of a bison. Might've been one of the funniest, most pathetic, and arousing (all at the same time) sequence of still photos I've ever laid eyes on.

"Tame" deer... Such a wonderful idea, so rarely (if it ever has been) achieved... As you say, with deer, "tame" means exactly NOTHING beyond "not afraid of people".
 
caikgoch said:
I'm basing my opinions on research ongoing in West Texas. TPW is sure enough to have a reporting and quarantine system in place. My introduction was through Forest Service contacts (TAMU) 20 years ago.
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Plenty fair enough. Like I said, my info was current about 2 years ago, so no question that there could be new discoveries I haven't gotten wind of. It's not a topic I put any effort into keeping up-to-date on - just part of the treasure trove (or junk heap - guess it depends on who you ask...) of knowledge that I soak up and store if it catches my interest for longer than a few seconds. Being an information sponge is something I've always had to live with. Sometimes it turns out useful. Problem is, if ya squeeze me, there's no telling exactly what's gonna dribble out! :)
 
UR20Z said:
Plenty fair enough. Like I said, my info was current about 2 years ago, so no question that there could be new discoveries I haven't gotten wind of. It's not a topic I put any effort into keeping up-to-date on - just part of the treasure trove (or junk heap - guess it depends on who you ask...) of knowledge that I soak up and store if it catches my interest for longer than a few seconds. Being an information sponge is something I've always had to live with. Sometimes it turns out useful. Problem is, if ya squeeze me, there's no telling exactly what's gonna dribble out! :)
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I quit worrying about it too much, just simply made a solid policy of no neural tissue, period, full stop, at all, ever, for no one.
 
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