Therapy

[MarlinCatch3]

Have you been in therapy and if so for what?
Did you enjoy it, did it work?

I’ve been in therapy a number of times in my life and I’m considering it again.

For me its been relationship therapy, sex therapy, work therapy. Now I’m considering therapy for migraines. I feel my migraines are due to lack of sleep which is driven by anxiety. However it could be that the root cause is physiological.

 

[milabue]

depression
therapy can't cure it, but it did help me cope with it a little bit better

 

[Schuppentier]

Never been to therapy. Had a depression after an accident that made it almost impossible to walk for some month. Got over it.

I think, in today's society, therapy and therapists get used way to easy. There are conditions that need therapy, but it has become a trend to "have a therapist" like it's some kind of status symbol or badge of approval.

They get so overused for any little bullshit some thinks he might have, that the cases that realy need therapy often do not get it,or don't get as mutch attention as they need.

Not everyone needs a therapist, actually the vast majority does not need them, but alot of people have them regardless. They just use them as a conversation piece, or to have them at an excuse to be lazy or to be an obnoxious piece of shit.

 

[wood_thrush]

I strongly advocate for therapy, and I also strongly advocate finding a therapist who is a good fit for you. I have had two therapists - the first one I didn't choose myself (this was long time ago) so while it was okay the one I have now is a much, much better fit. I am exceedingly thankful for him. I am completely out to him too. My therapist has never tried to change me - he accepts me for who I am. My suggestion to anyone to would be to come with questions and prepare to do some vetting.

Therapy can be enjoyable, however one needs to know that it is hard when done right. Therapy and serious work on my own issues is messy, painful and difficult. It is a slow process too. I think it's worth it though! I can confidently say it's helped me tremendously. Overall my quality of life is *much* better than it was. If anyone wants to know more I can share.

In terms of going 'for' anything, I was prompted by an ultimatum my ex girlfriend gave me. Remembering is really hazy for me since our relationship had always been tumultuous, but essentially she found out that I had had sexual experiences with dogs and that being something I was really interested in. Then I said I wasn't in order to save my relationship with her (I'm not doing that again, that was a *huge* mistake on my part), then I said I was about a year after in another one of our fights. All of it was rather murky, confusing and painful for me and she seemed to need a clearcut, black and white answer which I was honestly unable to give. There is a ton of other, really painful complicated stuff there too, a lot of which I contributed.

Although our relationship left me completely drained most of the time, something I learned in therapy was that I needed to take ownership over this and start protecting my time and emotional energy even if it meant the relationship would fall apart. Even though I went to therapy in an attempt to save my relationship, therapy also brought about the realization this relationship was way too much and that I needed to radically change my behavior and boundaries around it. It is really wild how things turn out sometimes in life.

I do want to say though, for the record, and so people get this side of it too, that we loved each other dearly and I know that she really is a wonderful woman, inside and out. She is truly beautiful, and I miss her. We were best friends, not just lovers. But our issues together have been insurmountable without significant help, namely couples counseling. In the end, we were unable to get that help sadly, for a variety of significant reasons.

This is the second time today I have written way more than I planned to. I hope that's okay. It occurs to me that typing about these things is perhaps helping to process and make peace with it all. Thanks in advance for allowing me the space.

 

[MarlinCatch3]

I had good and bad experiences with therapy. Bad was when I wasn’t committed to it but obliged to do it for the other person. What I needed then was space to grow and what I got from therapy was “You should be doing this and that ….”. The therapist knew I hated him.

I also had good therapy when I wanted to understand my working relationship with colleagues. I didn’t need this therapy Per-se but I volunteered for it and because I was all in it helped. There’s a danger of being one sided in therapy because your-therapist only gets what you tell him/her and you can mislead your therapist. I think this happened in my work therapy but I did discover my own short-comings (laziness) in the process as I mulled over business. I realized I could only be 100% productive when working on things I chose. So I had to work for myself. This therapist also knew that I knew he was full of shit but he also knew I was sorting through the issues myself and I wouldnt have been able to without him.

Why I’m going back into therapy? I’ve had sleep problems and that results in waking up during extremely traumatic dreams. I know the dreams aren’t reality but the trauma doesn’t go away quickly. The smells of the dream stay with me and I smell them in the linens again as soon as I come home and the traumatic memory comes back. I have a suspicion some of it might be related to either my prescriptions which recently changed or my workout which recently changed. I’m going back to my older prescription as soon as I can and I hope my sleeping returns to normal. If not then I will probably seek out some therapy.

 

[BrotatoChip]

I've had mostly bad therapy, but I think it was mostly due to me not being honest enough. I have extremely negative self-image, very high social anxiety and anxiety in general, depression, and a bunch of other stuff that I want to work on. It's weird because outwardly I'm decently successful and seemingly OK a lot of the time until very recently, but my situation doesn't reflect how my mind feels. I'm surprised every day that I haven't entirely destroyed my life.

 

[milabue]

Never been to therapy. Had a depression after an accident that made it almost impossible to walk for some month. Got over it.

I think, in today's society, therapy and therapists get used way to easy. There are conditions that need therapy, but it has become a trend to "have a therapist" like it's some kind of status symbol or badge of approval.

They get so overused for any little bullshit some thinks he might have, that the cases that realy need therapy often do not get it,or don't get as mutch attention as they need.

Not everyone needs a therapist, actually the vast majority does not need them, but alot of people have them regardless. They just use them as a conversation piece, or to have them at an excuse to be lazy or to be an obnoxious piece of shit.

I'm reminded of older times, and Talking Heads. "Why don't you talk to your analyst? That's what he's paid for." 'analyst' Freud-based psychoanalysis, more recent attampts to understand the mind... It is a work in progress, and one which will never be perfect. Ever.

 

[milabue]

I've had mostly bad therapy, but I think it was mostly due to me not being honest enough. I have extremely negative self-image, very high social anxiety and anxiety in general, depression, and a bunch of other stuff that I want to work on. It's weird because outwardly I'm decently successful and seemingly OK a lot of the time until very recently, but my situation doesn't reflect how my mind feels. I'm surprised every day that I haven't entirely destroyed my life.

Mh. I've always been honest when talking to professionals. There are standards which if they break them they will be punished under the law.

If I hadn't been honest, I wouldn't know if the doc was honest. I mean, if I made stuff up then the poor guy would be completely confused, and would give confused suggestions.

 

[milabue]

I've had mostly bad therapy, but I think it was mostly due to me not being honest enough. I have extremely negative self-image, very high social anxiety and anxiety in general, depression, and a bunch of other stuff that I want to work on. It's weird because outwardly I'm decently successful and seemingly OK a lot of the time until very recently, but my situation doesn't reflect how my mind feels. I'm surprised every day that I haven't entirely destroyed my life.

Also: best wishes.

 

[BrotatoChip]

Mh. I've always been honest when talking to professionals. There are standards which if they break them they will be punished under the law.

If I hadn't been honest, I wouldn't know if the doc was honest. I mean, if I made stuff up then the poor guy would be completely confused, and would give confused suggestions.

Totally. It's not even that I was worried about being outed or anything like that, I don't think. I think I think so poorly of myself that the fear of exposing what I don't like or what is not "normal" about myself would open me up to the possibility that someone would confirm that my horrendous self assessment was accurate and that I am, in fact, human garbage.

I'm also an extreme people pleaser, to the point that I want a therapist to feel like they're doing a good job by fixing me. It's really fucking sick.

I logically know these things, and I logically know that huge swaths of my thinking don't have basis in reality but I can't seem to get my brain to integrate this knowledge somehow. My own brain is both fascinating and really horrifying to me sometimes.

Thanks for the reply, it's really helpful to hear what I on some level know from someone else. I think I might be on the right path finally.