Telling my Fiancé ruined my relationship, destroyed my family, affected my job and nearly sent me to jail. My story and a warning if you care to read

This is how life is. One wrong choice one wrong things said and everything can change in a moment. All people have lines you can not cross. Many of those lines are unpredictable and irregular and often irrational. I have had a friend flip out on me because I "don't share enough" but if I did they wouldn't like that either. Most people are a no win situation.
Keep all your secrets yours at all cost.
Also she should have had to pay for half the house and she is very lucky it wasn't me. At that point I would have ceased to care and that is a very dangerous place for me to be.
Hopefully you find your peace.
Side note: just because someone is a voyeur doesn't make them a bad person. I know what gets seen in places such as this tends to be the bad ones that are just users but that is only a portion and the most obvious because they are so obnoxious. If everyone in a situation are consenting and aware who does it harm.
Take care and stay safe in all ways possible.
 
Dgordon22 said:
This is my story of how my life was utterly destroyed 15 years ago from me telling someone I loved about my interest in Beastiality. This may be a long post but might be of interest to someone thinking about telling a partner. Not saying all outcomes will be like this, but I post this as a warning for the worst case scenario.
First about me: I am in my mid 40's a male and pretty normal as far as humans go. I fully enjoy sex with my human partner but I also enjoy other sexual appetites and fantasies such as beastiality, roleplay and other things that really have no bearing here.

I had been dating girls since I was 16 and not mentioned my interest in dogs for fear of embarrassment. Plus in most relationships I lived in apartments and could not have a dog. That all changed when I fell in love with the girl in this story. We will call her "Amanda" even though that is not her real name. I also post on this forum using a VPN routed through 3 different countries and using a fake email and nickname, as I'm deathly afraid of ever having more attention drawn to me on this subject. You'll understand why in a few minutes. Amanda and me dated for about 6 months before moving in together. Everything in our relationship was great. I asked her to marry me about a year later and she accepted. We bought our own place and started getting ready for the marriage and kids in the future. We got a dog, a German Shepherd and I was not sexually active with the dog but I had thought about it, based on my previous experiences with dogs growing up. It had been many years since I had touched a dog in any sexual way at this point.

Our sex life was better than great! Amanda was wild from day one and she enjoyed all sorts of kinky things in the bedroom. One night we were laying in bed making out and talking about our fantasies. We had done this before but it got really serious this night. She asked me to tell her my darkest fantasy that I would never tell anyone else. I told her she already knew all my deepest thoughts but she kept on about how everyone has things they don't want anyone to know and we should just be honest with each other, since we were going to be married soon. She insisted she was cool with anything I fantasized about. She said she would go first to put me at ease. She told me she had a fantasy about being kidnapped and raped. She got very sexually excited about it, but after dating 30-40 different girls in my life, I had actually figured out that more than a few girls seem to have this same fantasy for some reason. So, it did not shock me to hear this.

She kept on me to tell her what I fantasized about and I should tell her my innermost secrets. I thought ok I'm gonna tell her about me wanting to see her with the dog. I explained how I'd love to watch the dog lick her pussy while I jacked off. As soon as the words left my mouth, I saw the look on her face change to puzzlement. She was like "what??" I said, I just have this fantasy about watching the dog lick your pussy and you moaning in pleasure, while I jack off. She sat up in bed and had a look of total shock. She said are you for real? You want me to have sex with a fucking dog? She grabbed the covers and pulled them up over her bare chest like she was suddenly ashamed to be naked in front of me. She sat there for a minute and I tried to explain that it was just a fantasy and let's forget about it. She looked me dead in the eyes and asked if I had ever touched our dog. I said, no, it was just a fantasy, I would never do that.(at this point I was beginning to feel panic, cause I knew she was not taking this well)

She jumped out the bed and went to the bathroom and I tried to get her to open the door and talk to me. She screamed at me to leave her alone. So I went to the living room and sat on the couch a while. She finally came out and asked me again if I had touched our dog in any way, like a sexual way. I said no, never. She asked me if any of my previous girlfriends had gone along with shit like this. I said no, I never told anyone anything like that before. She said she felt sick and disgusted. She asked me to leave the house. I was like are you serious, this is my house too. She started screaming at me to get out and go to a hotel and give her some time to think. She kept screaming and screaming, so I grabbed an extra shirt and pants and left. I stayed at a hotel that night and came back the next day but she wasn't there and didn't come home from work. I finally got through to her after calling like 50 times. She said she was at her friends house and would be staying there for a while. I told her I was sorry and to just come home so we could talk. She refused and said she had taken the dog with her as she didn't trust me around him. She had also explained the situation to her friend, whom I was best friends with her husband. When she told me that, my jaw just dropped open. I couldn't believe it.

To make this long story shorter, I'll abbreviate the next few weeks. She eventually came back home and we argued for a lot. She did not want anything to do with me now. She cried, I cried and we cried together but in the end she said it just disgusted her so much that she felt like I was as bad as a child molester. She went on and on about how animals are innocent and how could any person dare touch them or use them like that. She said they have the mind of a child and that's why she considers me no better than people who mess with kids. She threw her engagement ring at me and told me to pack and get out the house. I moved in with a friend for about 5-6 months. During that time I met another girl that worked for me. She had also been flirty at work but when she found out my engagement was off, she poured it on big time.

One day we were on break and my corporate job was at a large facility where we had multiple restaurants inside for employees to eat at. She sat down at my table and we began talking. She said she was wondering if I could come to her house after work and help her with something. She said she had been trying to install a shelf above her washing machine to put detergent on but couldn't so it herself. She needed one person to hold the shelf in place while the other drilled the holes and placed the screws underneath. I agreed to go as it would only take a few minutes. Once I got to her house we put the shelf up in 5 minutes. She said she wanted to make me supper as a thank you but I told her it wasn't necessary. She insisted so I stayed and after supper, she sat next to me on the couch and well, I think you can guess how things went next. We started dating and had been going out about 2 months when we were at a local grocery store together and low and behold, we ran into my ex fiancé and her mom. I had thought it was all in the past now, but how wrong I was.

They walked up to us and at first it seemed like we were just going to be friendly. I said hello and Amanda said hi and how was I doing. I said ok and I saw her looking at my new girlfriend so I introduced her. She said it was nice to meet her but I could tell she was pissed underneath her fake smile. I said we have to be going and we started to walk away. Amanda turned and looked directly at my new girlfriend and asked "has he asked you to fuck a dog yet?" I about died right there as it was so loud, I'm sure 20 other people in the store heard it. I said what the fuck and before I could get another word out, Amanda said "yeah, tell her how you asked me to have sex with our dog." She was shouting at this point. Luckily her mom said Amanda, that's enough lets get out of here and started dragging her away by her arm. I think her mom was as embarrassed as I was. Still, even as we put distance between each other, she was shouting, "if he hasn't asked you to fuck the family dog, he will soon."

Once outside the store and in the car, I was apologizing to my new girlfriend and she was asking me to explain what just happened. I was caught red handed so I knew that lying would not do any good. I told her I had one fucking fantasy about watching a girl with a dog and I had told Amanda that one night and she went berserk. I told her I no longer felt that way and I would never ask her to do something like that. She didn't say much else and it was very awkward driving back to the house. The entire demeanor of our relationship changed after that. We didn't talk about what happened again but she had a small dog and any time it came into the room and I would pet it, I could see her look at me sideways as if watching me. The sex seemed to get more bland and one day I just told her I was moving back to my home state. I'd had enough of that area and needed a fresh start. I knew my instincts were true when she didn't even try to talk me out of it. She said she would help me pack.

Back home where I grew up, I moved into my grandparents house where I was raised. They were getting older and as I looked for a new job, I figured I'd spend some time with them and help out. About a month after moving back, I came home from a new job I had just started. My grandfather, grandmother an Aunt and an Uncle were all there sitting at the dining table. I knew something was wrong as soon as I entered. They asked me to sit down and I did. I asked what was wrong and my grandfather said there was no easy way to explain so he handed me an envelope. I took a letter out and unfolded it. The letter was from Amanda and addressed to my grandparents. It basically read that she was sorry and missed them.(she had grown close to my family before we moved to Chicago for my job up there)
She said that she wanted them to know that the breakup was not her fault and that she had found out their grandson had some mental problems. She said I had asked her to have sex with our beloved dog and wanted her to commit crimes and sex acts on him, like a child molester does with children. She said she had no choice but to kick me out and that she was telling them this, because she believes I need mental help. She ranted and raved on about how I had destroyed her life and he didn't want me destroying other lives with other girls. She also said she knew my grandparents had a dog and she was concerned I might try to molest it or worse, rape it. I finished reading the letter and immediately said this was bullshit and I couldn't believe she was saying this shit to get back at me for the failed relationship.

I tried to play it off like she was a scorned and deranged ex lover. My Aunt looked at me and started to cry. She opened her purse and said she had also got a letter that read very similar to the one my grandparents had received. She said my grandfather had called her and told her about the letter he got and didn't know what to do. He didn't know if he should mention it to me or if it was real. She told him she got one too and that's when she came over and they waited for me to come home from work. Turns out Amanda mailed one to every single family member she could find addresses for. She wrote to my other grandparents, my other aunt and uncle, several cousins, even to my old best friend I grew up with. My life was over...

I eventually talked to everyone that got a letter and in all cases I tried and lied to make it seem like she was a scorned ex who had an agenda to destroy me. Most people said they understood and they didn't believe it. However, my life never felt the same way again, around any of my family. Some family members would even make jokes about it at family get togethers. Like we'd be in the backyard having a bbq and someone's dog would walk up and beg for food off your plate. One of my cousins or uncles would joke, that the dog should beg me for food because I had a special way with animals. Some people would laugh and others would say oh stop that. They would slap me on the back like it was the funniest thing ever. I'd laugh like I thought it was funny but inside I was still dying and embarrassed. It's been over 15 years since that happened and I still don't feel 100% comfortable around my family. There aren't that many jokes anymore but I get uncomfortable around family members pets, because I feel they are scrutinizing me if I pet their dog or show it any attention.

I talked to my ex Amanda about a year ago. She called my brother because I had changed my number and she could not find me. She said it was important she get in touch with me about a legal issue so my brother gave her my number. She called and said she got married and when she went to put her new husbands name on the deed to the house, she realized my name was still listed on it. She wanted me to sign over my half of the house to her and him. We had paid cash for the house at the time and after so many years I had forgotten that I was still on the deed. I told her no problem even though part of me wanted to make her life hell for what she did to me. I was scared that she would bring up that shit again and make things worse, so I just agreed to sign whatever she wanted. A couple weeks later the title company sent me some legal paperwork I had to sign in front of a notary at my bank. I Fedex'd the papers back and that was that. Or so I thought.

She called me to thank me for signing the papers and I said ok your welcome. She then asked if I had ever got the mental help I needed for my problem. I was shocked she brought this crap back up but I said I'm ok and have a good day and started to hang up. She blurted out that she hoped I didn't own any animals. She sort of framed it like a question and I said, no I don't but have a good day and I hung up. Fear instantly came up as I wondered would she start calling any of my family or friends and making another situation for me. I was scared for several weeks after that. I kept worrying I could get a call from a family member, my current wife or my boss that she had contacted them.

After a while, nothing happened and I moved on. To this day, I still worry about her popping up one day and making trouble. I doubt I will ever hear from her again. In fact I hope I never do, for my sanity sake. I did get remarried some years back and my wife knows nothing about my sexual attraction to dogs. Yes, we own 2 dogs and I have become extremely careful when it comes to any type of activity involving animals. I use VPN's and a secured laptop with a virtual drive to download dog videos, search for others like me and chat with women who are into it. My wife is bisexual so we do have sexual relationships with other girls and sometimes guys but my animal desires have no part in that. I have met other girls and had sex with them privately outside my marriage with animals. Some I paid as you may not like that type of thing, but I don't mind paying for the pleasure of fulfilling my sex fantasies. For my job, I have often made business trip excuses to go to Japan and I find it very easy to meet women there who are into it. I also find the sex trade market to be very easy there, if you don't mind paying for experiences with animals and women. I am just 1000 times more careful than ever before. I often use a fake name, I try to pay for access using crypto or cash and I will never tell my wife anything at all about this. I love her with all my heart but I will die before risking another incident like I experienced. I only share my desires with people I meet online who are already into this, or I go to a country where it is more accepted. I struggled with cheating on my wife without her knowing, but since we have often invite other sexual partners into our mutual relationship, I make excuses that what I do is not as bad. I wished we lived in a world where I could be totally honest and accepted about this one thing, but this is not reality.

This was my experience and you may not have the same outcome but I write this partly because I wanted to get it off my chest and because I want it to be a small warning. Be careful who you tell about your innermost thoughts! This is a fickle world we live in and not everyone is accepting as we are. Many in society have trouble accepting anything that is different than the status quo. A lot of places have laws now that will even prosecute you for this. They will splash your name all over the news and let the world know what your into, if you get caught. In my state, they have arrested people both men and women for having videos of sex with animals. They have charged them with animal abuse, crimes against nature and posted their mugshots for the world to see. I'm sure it ruined not only their family and friends relationships but their jobs as well. Not to mention you can get actual jail or prison time. So while I won't ever stop at this point, I do take great precautions so as not to be vulnerable. I see videos where people are showing their faces, their tattoos, pics of family hanging on the wall and other identifiers in the background, etc. I do not understand why or how you could take that risk. All it takes is one single person to make one phone call and your life would be a living hell. Not to mention blackmail as I really thought at one point that my ex would try to blackmail me if I refused to sign the papers for the deed on the house. I have dragged this post out long enough but I thank you for listening to my story if you read this far.

God Bless and good luck with your adventures but stay safe and smart out there.
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Sorry this happened to. You've had to go through hard times and undeservedly so, since you didn't do anything wrong in the first place. :confused:

As for the lesson to learn for others ... Keeping such secrets for oneself isn't the only possible moral from this story.

Talking about fantasies with one's partner early would be another option. I mean, it seems that one of the reasons this became so painful is that you were so close with her already, were planning your life together and that she was involved with your family. If she had been equally shocked when learning about this fantasy much earlier in the relationship and left you, then maybe this wouldn't have been such a big thing.

On the other hand: If you had never told her about that fantasy – then maybe you would have learned about her ugly going-berserk side even later in life because of something totally different. Maybe you would have had children at that point and would have had to go through an even more terrible divorce. So maybe it's better that you two broke up and it's just bad luck that it didn't happen earlier when it would have been less heart-wrenching.

Another point that crossed my mind: You've chosen the strategy to deny her allegations and people in this thread also recommended doing this ... Well, you know your situation best, and your family, but I wouldn't say that this was surely the best strategy for everyone. For someone else it may be better to just stand by the facts. I mean, it was just about a fantasy after all. Is it really so bad to admit that you found the thought of a girl getting licked in her crotch curious in a horny moment? Not everyone is like your fiancé was.

Not everyone would freak out because of a weird fantasy. People joke about such things. There are hints at that in movies or even cartoon series nowadays. Maybe people would mock you then as well, but I think it's easier to endure to be mocked for something one admitted than denying the truth and still be mocked. Once it's admitted, the fear of getting blackmailed over it would be gone, too. It may be scary, and maybe bears the risk of losing a few more people, if they are inclined that way, but afterwards you would know who stands by who you really are.

It surely depends on your cultural background, religion, family structure etc ...
 
Dgordon22 said:
This is my story of how my life was utterly destroyed 15 years ago from me telling someone I loved about my interest in Beastiality. This may be a long post but might be of interest to someone thinking about telling a partner. Not saying all outcomes will be like this, but I post this as a warning for the worst case scenario.
First about me: I am in my mid 40's a male and pretty normal as far as humans go. I fully enjoy sex with my human partner but I also enjoy other sexual appetites and fantasies such as beastiality, roleplay and other things that really have no bearing here.

I had been dating girls since I was 16 and not mentioned my interest in dogs for fear of embarrassment. Plus in most relationships I lived in apartments and could not have a dog. That all changed when I fell in love with the girl in this story. We will call her "Amanda" even though that is not her real name. I also post on this forum using a VPN routed through 3 different countries and using a fake email and nickname, as I'm deathly afraid of ever having more attention drawn to me on this subject. You'll understand why in a few minutes. Amanda and me dated for about 6 months before moving in together. Everything in our relationship was great. I asked her to marry me about a year later and she accepted. We bought our own place and started getting ready for the marriage and kids in the future. We got a dog, a German Shepherd and I was not sexually active with the dog but I had thought about it, based on my previous experiences with dogs growing up. It had been many years since I had touched a dog in any sexual way at this point.

Our sex life was better than great! Amanda was wild from day one and she enjoyed all sorts of kinky things in the bedroom. One night we were laying in bed making out and talking about our fantasies. We had done this before but it got really serious this night. She asked me to tell her my darkest fantasy that I would never tell anyone else. I told her she already knew all my deepest thoughts but she kept on about how everyone has things they don't want anyone to know and we should just be honest with each other, since we were going to be married soon. She insisted she was cool with anything I fantasized about. She said she would go first to put me at ease. She told me she had a fantasy about being kidnapped and raped. She got very sexually excited about it, but after dating 30-40 different girls in my life, I had actually figured out that more than a few girls seem to have this same fantasy for some reason. So, it did not shock me to hear this.

She kept on me to tell her what I fantasized about and I should tell her my innermost secrets. I thought ok I'm gonna tell her about me wanting to see her with the dog. I explained how I'd love to watch the dog lick her pussy while I jacked off. As soon as the words left my mouth, I saw the look on her face change to puzzlement. She was like "what??" I said, I just have this fantasy about watching the dog lick your pussy and you moaning in pleasure, while I jack off. She sat up in bed and had a look of total shock. She said are you for real? You want me to have sex with a fucking dog? She grabbed the covers and pulled them up over her bare chest like she was suddenly ashamed to be naked in front of me. She sat there for a minute and I tried to explain that it was just a fantasy and let's forget about it. She looked me dead in the eyes and asked if I had ever touched our dog. I said, no, it was just a fantasy, I would never do that.(at this point I was beginning to feel panic, cause I knew she was not taking this well)

She jumped out the bed and went to the bathroom and I tried to get her to open the door and talk to me. She screamed at me to leave her alone. So I went to the living room and sat on the couch a while. She finally came out and asked me again if I had touched our dog in any way, like a sexual way. I said no, never. She asked me if any of my previous girlfriends had gone along with shit like this. I said no, I never told anyone anything like that before. She said she felt sick and disgusted. She asked me to leave the house. I was like are you serious, this is my house too. She started screaming at me to get out and go to a hotel and give her some time to think. She kept screaming and screaming, so I grabbed an extra shirt and pants and left. I stayed at a hotel that night and came back the next day but she wasn't there and didn't come home from work. I finally got through to her after calling like 50 times. She said she was at her friends house and would be staying there for a while. I told her I was sorry and to just come home so we could talk. She refused and said she had taken the dog with her as she didn't trust me around him. She had also explained the situation to her friend, whom I was best friends with her husband. When she told me that, my jaw just dropped open. I couldn't believe it.

To make this long story shorter, I'll abbreviate the next few weeks. She eventually came back home and we argued for a lot. She did not want anything to do with me now. She cried, I cried and we cried together but in the end she said it just disgusted her so much that she felt like I was as bad as a child molester. She went on and on about how animals are innocent and how could any person dare touch them or use them like that. She said they have the mind of a child and that's why she considers me no better than people who mess with kids. She threw her engagement ring at me and told me to pack and get out the house. I moved in with a friend for about 5-6 months. During that time I met another girl that worked for me. She had also been flirty at work but when she found out my engagement was off, she poured it on big time.

One day we were on break and my corporate job was at a large facility where we had multiple restaurants inside for employees to eat at. She sat down at my table and we began talking. She said she was wondering if I could come to her house after work and help her with something. She said she had been trying to install a shelf above her washing machine to put detergent on but couldn't so it herself. She needed one person to hold the shelf in place while the other drilled the holes and placed the screws underneath. I agreed to go as it would only take a few minutes. Once I got to her house we put the shelf up in 5 minutes. She said she wanted to make me supper as a thank you but I told her it wasn't necessary. She insisted so I stayed and after supper, she sat next to me on the couch and well, I think you can guess how things went next. We started dating and had been going out about 2 months when we were at a local grocery store together and low and behold, we ran into my ex fiancé and her mom. I had thought it was all in the past now, but how wrong I was.

They walked up to us and at first it seemed like we were just going to be friendly. I said hello and Amanda said hi and how was I doing. I said ok and I saw her looking at my new girlfriend so I introduced her. She said it was nice to meet her but I could tell she was pissed underneath her fake smile. I said we have to be going and we started to walk away. Amanda turned and looked directly at my new girlfriend and asked "has he asked you to fuck a dog yet?" I about died right there as it was so loud, I'm sure 20 other people in the store heard it. I said what the fuck and before I could get another word out, Amanda said "yeah, tell her how you asked me to have sex with our dog." She was shouting at this point. Luckily her mom said Amanda, that's enough lets get out of here and started dragging her away by her arm. I think her mom was as embarrassed as I was. Still, even as we put distance between each other, she was shouting, "if he hasn't asked you to fuck the family dog, he will soon."

Once outside the store and in the car, I was apologizing to my new girlfriend and she was asking me to explain what just happened. I was caught red handed so I knew that lying would not do any good. I told her I had one fucking fantasy about watching a girl with a dog and I had told Amanda that one night and she went berserk. I told her I no longer felt that way and I would never ask her to do something like that. She didn't say much else and it was very awkward driving back to the house. The entire demeanor of our relationship changed after that. We didn't talk about what happened again but she had a small dog and any time it came into the room and I would pet it, I could see her look at me sideways as if watching me. The sex seemed to get more bland and one day I just told her I was moving back to my home state. I'd had enough of that area and needed a fresh start. I knew my instincts were true when she didn't even try to talk me out of it. She said she would help me pack.

Back home where I grew up, I moved into my grandparents house where I was raised. They were getting older and as I looked for a new job, I figured I'd spend some time with them and help out. About a month after moving back, I came home from a new job I had just started. My grandfather, grandmother an Aunt and an Uncle were all there sitting at the dining table. I knew something was wrong as soon as I entered. They asked me to sit down and I did. I asked what was wrong and my grandfather said there was no easy way to explain so he handed me an envelope. I took a letter out and unfolded it. The letter was from Amanda and addressed to my grandparents. It basically read that she was sorry and missed them.(she had grown close to my family before we moved to Chicago for my job up there)
She said that she wanted them to know that the breakup was not her fault and that she had found out their grandson had some mental problems. She said I had asked her to have sex with our beloved dog and wanted her to commit crimes and sex acts on him, like a child molester does with children. She said she had no choice but to kick me out and that she was telling them this, because she believes I need mental help. She ranted and raved on about how I had destroyed her life and he didn't want me destroying other lives with other girls. She also said she knew my grandparents had a dog and she was concerned I might try to molest it or worse, rape it. I finished reading the letter and immediately said this was bullshit and I couldn't believe she was saying this shit to get back at me for the failed relationship.

I tried to play it off like she was a scorned and deranged ex lover. My Aunt looked at me and started to cry. She opened her purse and said she had also got a letter that read very similar to the one my grandparents had received. She said my grandfather had called her and told her about the letter he got and didn't know what to do. He didn't know if he should mention it to me or if it was real. She told him she got one too and that's when she came over and they waited for me to come home from work. Turns out Amanda mailed one to every single family member she could find addresses for. She wrote to my other grandparents, my other aunt and uncle, several cousins, even to my old best friend I grew up with. My life was over...

I eventually talked to everyone that got a letter and in all cases I tried and lied to make it seem like she was a scorned ex who had an agenda to destroy me. Most people said they understood and they didn't believe it. However, my life never felt the same way again, around any of my family. Some family members would even make jokes about it at family get togethers. Like we'd be in the backyard having a bbq and someone's dog would walk up and beg for food off your plate. One of my cousins or uncles would joke, that the dog should beg me for food because I had a special way with animals. Some people would laugh and others would say oh stop that. They would slap me on the back like it was the funniest thing ever. I'd laugh like I thought it was funny but inside I was still dying and embarrassed. It's been over 15 years since that happened and I still don't feel 100% comfortable around my family. There aren't that many jokes anymore but I get uncomfortable around family members pets, because I feel they are scrutinizing me if I pet their dog or show it any attention.

I talked to my ex Amanda about a year ago. She called my brother because I had changed my number and she could not find me. She said it was important she get in touch with me about a legal issue so my brother gave her my number. She called and said she got married and when she went to put her new husbands name on the deed to the house, she realized my name was still listed on it. She wanted me to sign over my half of the house to her and him. We had paid cash for the house at the time and after so many years I had forgotten that I was still on the deed. I told her no problem even though part of me wanted to make her life hell for what she did to me. I was scared that she would bring up that shit again and make things worse, so I just agreed to sign whatever she wanted. A couple weeks later the title company sent me some legal paperwork I had to sign in front of a notary at my bank. I Fedex'd the papers back and that was that. Or so I thought.

She called me to thank me for signing the papers and I said ok your welcome. She then asked if I had ever got the mental help I needed for my problem. I was shocked she brought this crap back up but I said I'm ok and have a good day and started to hang up. She blurted out that she hoped I didn't own any animals. She sort of framed it like a question and I said, no I don't but have a good day and I hung up. Fear instantly came up as I wondered would she start calling any of my family or friends and making another situation for me. I was scared for several weeks after that. I kept worrying I could get a call from a family member, my current wife or my boss that she had contacted them.

After a while, nothing happened and I moved on. To this day, I still worry about her popping up one day and making trouble. I doubt I will ever hear from her again. In fact I hope I never do, for my sanity sake. I did get remarried some years back and my wife knows nothing about my sexual attraction to dogs. Yes, we own 2 dogs and I have become extremely careful when it comes to any type of activity involving animals. I use VPN's and a secured laptop with a virtual drive to download dog videos, search for others like me and chat with women who are into it. My wife is bisexual so we do have sexual relationships with other girls and sometimes guys but my animal desires have no part in that. I have met other girls and had sex with them privately outside my marriage with animals. Some I paid as you may not like that type of thing, but I don't mind paying for the pleasure of fulfilling my sex fantasies. For my job, I have often made business trip excuses to go to Japan and I find it very easy to meet women there who are into it. I also find the sex trade market to be very easy there, if you don't mind paying for experiences with animals and women. I am just 1000 times more careful than ever before. I often use a fake name, I try to pay for access using crypto or cash and I will never tell my wife anything at all about this. I love her with all my heart but I will die before risking another incident like I experienced. I only share my desires with people I meet online who are already into this, or I go to a country where it is more accepted. I struggled with cheating on my wife without her knowing, but since we have often invite other sexual partners into our mutual relationship, I make excuses that what I do is not as bad. I wished we lived in a world where I could be totally honest and accepted about this one thing, but this is not reality.

This was my experience and you may not have the same outcome but I write this partly because I wanted to get it off my chest and because I want it to be a small warning. Be careful who you tell about your innermost thoughts! This is a fickle world we live in and not everyone is accepting as we are. Many in society have trouble accepting anything that is different than the status quo. A lot of places have laws now that will even prosecute you for this. They will splash your name all over the news and let the world know what your into, if you get caught. In my state, they have arrested people both men and women for having videos of sex with animals. They have charged them with animal abuse, crimes against nature and posted their mugshots for the world to see. I'm sure it ruined not only their family and friends relationships but their jobs as well. Not to mention you can get actual jail or prison time. So while I won't ever stop at this point, I do take great precautions so as not to be vulnerable. I see videos where people are showing their faces, their tattoos, pics of family hanging on the wall and other identifiers in the background, etc. I do not understand why or how you could take that risk. All it takes is one single person to make one phone call and your life would be a living hell. Not to mention blackmail as I really thought at one point that my ex would try to blackmail me if I refused to sign the papers for the deed on the house. I have dragged this post out long enough but I thank you for listening to my story if you read this far.

God Bless and good luck with your adventures but stay safe and smart out there.
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Wow, you have really been put through hell. I hope you can soon get some massive amounts of joy in your life, god knows you deserve it.
 
Wow! I have to say, that was painful to read…I can’t imagine what actually living it is like. Amanda sounds like a pure psycho. A normal adult would not react like that. I’m in the camp of not telling anyone.
 
hindsight is worthless but i would have responded somewhere along the lines of "i tried to create as shocking a fantasy as yours of being kidnapped and raped so you wouldn't feel vulnerable sharing your secrets" as soon as the horror crept in
 
DoggoL0v3r said:
Sorry to hear, also now i'm just even less willing to ever tell it to anyone (not like it was a possibility for me to consider before, but just even less now)
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Its very difficult and is indeed a risk. I was fortunate in my circumstance and understand I am apart of a minority. Comfort should come before fantasy..
 
Thanks for posting this as it's another validation point for all the failed (open) relationships I've come across since I first established an on-line presence back when (although under a different nick). Trying to live in both the 'mundane' and zoo worlds can be challenging and turn into a disaster at anytime. When I was dating my ex and I told her of my zoo focus ONLY after I became aware that she'd played with her animals in her teens. I came to realize that as much as I tried my primary focus is/was NOT with humans which I accept and embrace. Sadly there are times in life when some things are better left unsaid BUT there can be consequences if/when one is not totally open with a human partner.
 
Wow that was a horrifying read. I think for all people here, it’s worth remembering the idea of bringing this up like “my ex had this kink….” So that if it goes south, you’re one step removed and can say it’s totally not your thing etc
 
I've been caught by a gf watching the video and masturbating to them before because my back was to the office door. She brought it up a few times when she was really mad that it was sick, but I played it off like it wasn't something I'd ever do with someone...I just liked watching some extreme stuff once in a while. That kind of worked for the most part.

If you want to know if your partner is curious about trying zoo, make a fake profile somewhere and chat with them as someone else. Then get a little sexual and ask what some of the most extreme things are they've seen. Then you can mention someone sending you a link to a dog with someone (that way it's not you going out to find the video and you can play it off if they really think it's sick). Continue talking with them and go further slowly...tell them you get turned on sometimes watching those kinds of videos, and maybe tell them you walked in on a partner having fun with a dog, etc. That's about the only SAFE way to see if they'll admit to having ANY interest.

Other than that, here's some unsolicited advice. Sorry it's long, but I've been caught with conversations and media on my phone and computer. It was never fun! Hopefully this will help someone else. :)

CELL PHONE
- NEVER assume you've covered your tracks completely. Treat your phone like a gun...it's ALWAYS loaded (with things that will get you in trouble).
- Put a lock on your phone, including one that protects it if someone reboots it.
- Hide your phone when you're home and have it in silent mode.
- If someone asks to see your phone, say it's dead. NEVER give it to ANYBODY.
- Get a second phone if you have the money that you hide at the office, in your vehicle, or somewhere at home REALLY creative like in a storage container in the garage in a box marked for something they'll NEVER want to get into like pest poison. You can get pay-as-you-go phones if you don't want another line on your bill. DON'T use a credit card or bank card to pay for the phone or time! You can go to Walmart and use cash to buy refill cards.
- Use a VPN to access questionable sites. I run NordVPN, but it's been kind of slow in the past year. Whatever program you use, MAKE SURE they don't keep records and don't cooperate with investigations; of course, if they don't keep records, they don't have anything to hand over to law enforcement.
- Install a program that can erase your history daily and whenever you close out of a browser. I've used CCleaner for years and it seems to work fine.
- Install a program that can overwrite all the"free space" daily or at your command. I have an Android and use iShredder with the Gutmann method of overwriting the free space 35 times...might be overkill, but I'd rather take that chance. (The "free" or blank part of your phone's storage can be recovered by experts if you don't use strong enough erasing methods. Just deleting your files WILL NOT protect you!) https://www.protectstar.com/en/products/ishredder-android

COMPUTER
- Basically the same idea as covering your tracks on a cell phone: use a VPN, have a program that erases your history as soon as you close a browser (this program should also erase your tracks in other areas like the last files opened), and have a program overwrite and erase the "free" space on the hard drive.
- Make sure any programs that you use to view or listen to media NEVER save a history!
- Don't let your computer "conveniently" keep a list of the last files you opened.
- Use headphones to listen to things you don't want people to hear instead of just turning the speakers down low.
- NEVER have your back to the door(s) of the room. You need to know when someone enters or is just standing there.
- Lock the door to the room if you're doing something you don't want people to know about.
- Keep all your personal files on the cloud somewhere. I have a Google drive account that is NOT set to sync with my computer. Those files are only available to my phone or computer if I log in to view them.
- Don't have your computer save usernames or passwords to questionable sites.
- If you want to keep a backup of the files in the cloud, make sure you HIDE THEM WELL! Maybe even get a safe deposit box. Just remember to pay it or the bank will get to see them, and don't get statements for the safe deposit box sent to the house.
- You can also save files and questionable items in a storage locker. Same rules not having statement sent to your house, and don't use a payment method where someone can see the charges.
- Use an extra cell phone that runs a webcam program (like IP Webcam) so you can put it outside the room where your computer is. You can then open a browser window and see who's coming down the hall so you have time to look normal before they get to you.

STEPPING OUTSIDE YOUR RELATIONSHIP
- If you feel like you can't share your kinks with your partner, and you really need an additional partner to explore with, make sure you cover your tracks!
- Don't let your phone keep a history of where you drive and when. Google Maps will have EXACTLY where you went and when if you don't tell it not to track you.
- Pay for everything in cash, or have your extra partner use their card and pay them back if need be.
- Have a friend who can cover for you who will say you're with them. Tell them when you'll be with your extra partner, so if someone calls them they can cover for you. Have them say you're in the bathroom and they'll have you call when you come out.
- If you have a partner who checks your odometer, that's a rough one. Sorry!
- Watch out for doorbells that take video of you as you come and go from your home.
- Take your change of clothes with you so you don't have to come back home in clothes that smell like someone else.
- Use a fake name with your extra partner if you don't intend on telling them about your primary relationship, and don't bring your wallet/purse into the hotel room or their house so they can snoop through it while you're in another room.
- Be careful paying for things in front of your extra partner if you don't want them seeing your real name on a credit/debit card. Same goes for handing your driver's license to someone else. You can always tell them you don't like your photo if they ask to see it...be AGGRESSIVE about how much you don't like it if they insist.
- Don't leave your extra partner in your vehicle alone unless you hide or remove your registration info. (I had someone find out my real name and my address this way!)

I'm sure I'm leaving things out. Anyway, I hope this save someone some of the problems I've run into over the years. I'd love to hear other ideas! Imho, I would never suggest just coming straight out to a partner about what your kinks are. Find another way to see how they feel about them first.
 
I am very sorry about your loss. As being a female myself I would have reacted like this a few years back (I am 32 now). I think I have matured enough to let other people's fantasies come out and ready to hear about them even if i do not want to be a part of it or support it. I think maturity is what when you hear what others have to say without making a noise or making it a mental illness case. Maybe your ex wasn't mature enough at that time. Maybe I am wrong?
 
Twelvepaws said:
Your ex girlfriend is a mean fucking whorebitch shitface ringworm bitch. She wants to know your darkest desire, and when you tell her, she attacks you and even attacks you with it 15 years later (!). Why is it that almost always only women do this? Have you ever heard of a man doing this?
A stupid bitch, such people are unnecessary for the planet.
Is it normal for her to be kidnapped by strangers and raped? She should see a psychologist because even 15 years later this is still on her mind, she can't forget it. She has mental problems...
A large stallion should lie in her bed, stupidmotherfuckerbitch.

You also made a mistake, because from the very first time you should have gotten angry and shouted at her that she was attacking you with false accusations because of the breakup. It is likely that you preferred to remain silent, which betrayed yourself. And or, you should have reported her for defamation. She had no proof anyway.

This is what I hate in western countries, here in the east, if a woman behaves like this, his husband slaps her, but to the extent that the sidewalk gives the other slap and everything is solved.
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Well a couple slaps isn't really a better solution, but yeah, he should've countered with her own rape fantasy when the fight started
 
I sincerely feel for you. Not all, but some women are just like that. They pull Jedi mind tricks on others just to have a huge dramatic event in their life because they just can’t be happy being happy. I dealt with Jedi mind tricks tor 20 years with my ex. I never gave in or admitted anything. I never cheated on her. She was sure I did. She kicked me out asked for a divorce And I said okay. Signed the papers and moved on. A few months later I moved in with another woman having sex and she called me two months after that to tell me She signed her last name as mine instead of hers making the filing void. The. She had the nerve to destroy me because I was cheating on her for her signature screwup. That whole situation destroyed my business friendships and more so now I moved back to my home state too a bunch of years back and I quit dating women all together. Never had even a desire to be with a guy but Guys don’t pull BS on me. It’s just mutual pleasures and that’s the only me of it. I’ll get a dog after my mother passes. She stays with me and I take care of her. Keep your head up. Everything is gonna be ok
 
Wow sorry I only read the first several paragraphs but. I hear these stories and am really grateful to have the people in my life that I have. I am not blaming you or anything but seriously there must have been warning signs about this Amanda person from the get go. ... I've told like ten people (a few close friends, a coworker, my mom, and three exs) including every girl I've ever dated, and no one has made a big deal about it. In fact explaining my sexuality is one of the first things I have told, and will tell, someone I'm in a relationship with. It's something I would never want to keep from a significant other because it's probably the issue that causes me the most psychological distress. Also I would never want her to find out on her own and be in shock,, or something.

Also the aftermath of telling people this has always been the same. Our relationships have not changed one iota.

I usually would explain as follows: "my sexuality is very strange... I'm kind of a zoophile..." then I proceed to elaborate that I've never done anything (which is not precisely true, although the past is the past) and that I have no idea why I'm attracted to certain kinds of dogs and this one particular horse I know. I also explain that it's relatively common, and that there has been research on it. I encourage them to look into it more.

I tell people I'm close with (minus my coworker, but that's a different story) So they can better understand the main underlying issue with my mental health. And also to normalize it in a way. Zoophilia is out there, it exists, and I'm someone who experiences it-- your son, friend, boyfriend, peer... just so you know. Lol
 
Dgordon22 said:
This is my story of how my life was utterly destroyed 15 years ago from me telling someone I loved about my interest in Beastiality. This may be a long post but might be of interest to someone thinking about telling a partner. Not saying all outcomes will be like this, but I post this as a warning for the worst case scenario.
First about me: I am in my mid 40's a male and pretty normal as far as humans go. I fully enjoy sex with my human partner but I also enjoy other sexual appetites and fantasies such as beastiality, roleplay and other things that really have no bearing here.

I had been dating girls since I was 16 and not mentioned my interest in dogs for fear of embarrassment. Plus in most relationships I lived in apartments and could not have a dog. That all changed when I fell in love with the girl in this story. We will call her "Amanda" even though that is not her real name. I also post on this forum using a VPN routed through 3 different countries and using a fake email and nickname, as I'm deathly afraid of ever having more attention drawn to me on this subject. You'll understand why in a few minutes. Amanda and me dated for about 6 months before moving in together. Everything in our relationship was great. I asked her to marry me about a year later and she accepted. We bought our own place and started getting ready for the marriage and kids in the future. We got a dog, a German Shepherd and I was not sexually active with the dog but I had thought about it, based on my previous experiences with dogs growing up. It had been many years since I had touched a dog in any sexual way at this point.

Our sex life was better than great! Amanda was wild from day one and she enjoyed all sorts of kinky things in the bedroom. One night we were laying in bed making out and talking about our fantasies. We had done this before but it got really serious this night. She asked me to tell her my darkest fantasy that I would never tell anyone else. I told her she already knew all my deepest thoughts but she kept on about how everyone has things they don't want anyone to know and we should just be honest with each other, since we were going to be married soon. She insisted she was cool with anything I fantasized about. She said she would go first to put me at ease. She told me she had a fantasy about being kidnapped and raped. She got very sexually excited about it, but after dating 30-40 different girls in my life, I had actually figured out that more than a few girls seem to have this same fantasy for some reason. So, it did not shock me to hear this.

She kept on me to tell her what I fantasized about and I should tell her my innermost secrets. I thought ok I'm gonna tell her about me wanting to see her with the dog. I explained how I'd love to watch the dog lick her pussy while I jacked off. As soon as the words left my mouth, I saw the look on her face change to puzzlement. She was like "what??" I said, I just have this fantasy about watching the dog lick your pussy and you moaning in pleasure, while I jack off. She sat up in bed and had a look of total shock. She said are you for real? You want me to have sex with a fucking dog? She grabbed the covers and pulled them up over her bare chest like she was suddenly ashamed to be naked in front of me. She sat there for a minute and I tried to explain that it was just a fantasy and let's forget about it. She looked me dead in the eyes and asked if I had ever touched our dog. I said, no, it was just a fantasy, I would never do that.(at this point I was beginning to feel panic, cause I knew she was not taking this well)

She jumped out the bed and went to the bathroom and I tried to get her to open the door and talk to me. She screamed at me to leave her alone. So I went to the living room and sat on the couch a while. She finally came out and asked me again if I had touched our dog in any way, like a sexual way. I said no, never. She asked me if any of my previous girlfriends had gone along with shit like this. I said no, I never told anyone anything like that before. She said she felt sick and disgusted. She asked me to leave the house. I was like are you serious, this is my house too. She started screaming at me to get out and go to a hotel and give her some time to think. She kept screaming and screaming, so I grabbed an extra shirt and pants and left. I stayed at a hotel that night and came back the next day but she wasn't there and didn't come home from work. I finally got through to her after calling like 50 times. She said she was at her friends house and would be staying there for a while. I told her I was sorry and to just come home so we could talk. She refused and said she had taken the dog with her as she didn't trust me around him. She had also explained the situation to her friend, whom I was best friends with her husband. When she told me that, my jaw just dropped open. I couldn't believe it.

To make this long story shorter, I'll abbreviate the next few weeks. She eventually came back home and we argued for a lot. She did not want anything to do with me now. She cried, I cried and we cried together but in the end she said it just disgusted her so much that she felt like I was as bad as a child molester. She went on and on about how animals are innocent and how could any person dare touch them or use them like that. She said they have the mind of a child and that's why she considers me no better than people who mess with kids. She threw her engagement ring at me and told me to pack and get out the house. I moved in with a friend for about 5-6 months. During that time I met another girl that worked for me. She had also been flirty at work but when she found out my engagement was off, she poured it on big time.

One day we were on break and my corporate job was at a large facility where we had multiple restaurants inside for employees to eat at. She sat down at my table and we began talking. She said she was wondering if I could come to her house after work and help her with something. She said she had been trying to install a shelf above her washing machine to put detergent on but couldn't so it herself. She needed one person to hold the shelf in place while the other drilled the holes and placed the screws underneath. I agreed to go as it would only take a few minutes. Once I got to her house we put the shelf up in 5 minutes. She said she wanted to make me supper as a thank you but I told her it wasn't necessary. She insisted so I stayed and after supper, she sat next to me on the couch and well, I think you can guess how things went next. We started dating and had been going out about 2 months when we were at a local grocery store together and low and behold, we ran into my ex fiancé and her mom. I had thought it was all in the past now, but how wrong I was.

They walked up to us and at first it seemed like we were just going to be friendly. I said hello and Amanda said hi and how was I doing. I said ok and I saw her looking at my new girlfriend so I introduced her. She said it was nice to meet her but I could tell she was pissed underneath her fake smile. I said we have to be going and we started to walk away. Amanda turned and looked directly at my new girlfriend and asked "has he asked you to fuck a dog yet?" I about died right there as it was so loud, I'm sure 20 other people in the store heard it. I said what the fuck and before I could get another word out, Amanda said "yeah, tell her how you asked me to have sex with our dog." She was shouting at this point. Luckily her mom said Amanda, that's enough lets get out of here and started dragging her away by her arm. I think her mom was as embarrassed as I was. Still, even as we put distance between each other, she was shouting, "if he hasn't asked you to fuck the family dog, he will soon."

Once outside the store and in the car, I was apologizing to my new girlfriend and she was asking me to explain what just happened. I was caught red handed so I knew that lying would not do any good. I told her I had one fucking fantasy about watching a girl with a dog and I had told Amanda that one night and she went berserk. I told her I no longer felt that way and I would never ask her to do something like that. She didn't say much else and it was very awkward driving back to the house. The entire demeanor of our relationship changed after that. We didn't talk about what happened again but she had a small dog and any time it came into the room and I would pet it, I could see her look at me sideways as if watching me. The sex seemed to get more bland and one day I just told her I was moving back to my home state. I'd had enough of that area and needed a fresh start. I knew my instincts were true when she didn't even try to talk me out of it. She said she would help me pack.

Back home where I grew up, I moved into my grandparents house where I was raised. They were getting older and as I looked for a new job, I figured I'd spend some time with them and help out. About a month after moving back, I came home from a new job I had just started. My grandfather, grandmother an Aunt and an Uncle were all there sitting at the dining table. I knew something was wrong as soon as I entered. They asked me to sit down and I did. I asked what was wrong and my grandfather said there was no easy way to explain so he handed me an envelope. I took a letter out and unfolded it. The letter was from Amanda and addressed to my grandparents. It basically read that she was sorry and missed them.(she had grown close to my family before we moved to Chicago for my job up there)
She said that she wanted them to know that the breakup was not her fault and that she had found out their grandson had some mental problems. She said I had asked her to have sex with our beloved dog and wanted her to commit crimes and sex acts on him, like a child molester does with children. She said she had no choice but to kick me out and that she was telling them this, because she believes I need mental help. She ranted and raved on about how I had destroyed her life and he didn't want me destroying other lives with other girls. She also said she knew my grandparents had a dog and she was concerned I might try to molest it or worse, rape it. I finished reading the letter and immediately said this was bullshit and I couldn't believe she was saying this shit to get back at me for the failed relationship.

I tried to play it off like she was a scorned and deranged ex lover. My Aunt looked at me and started to cry. She opened her purse and said she had also got a letter that read very similar to the one my grandparents had received. She said my grandfather had called her and told her about the letter he got and didn't know what to do. He didn't know if he should mention it to me or if it was real. She told him she got one too and that's when she came over and they waited for me to come home from work. Turns out Amanda mailed one to every single family member she could find addresses for. She wrote to my other grandparents, my other aunt and uncle, several cousins, even to my old best friend I grew up with. My life was over...

I eventually talked to everyone that got a letter and in all cases I tried and lied to make it seem like she was a scorned ex who had an agenda to destroy me. Most people said they understood and they didn't believe it. However, my life never felt the same way again, around any of my family. Some family members would even make jokes about it at family get togethers. Like we'd be in the backyard having a bbq and someone's dog would walk up and beg for food off your plate. One of my cousins or uncles would joke, that the dog should beg me for food because I had a special way with animals. Some people would laugh and others would say oh stop that. They would slap me on the back like it was the funniest thing ever. I'd laugh like I thought it was funny but inside I was still dying and embarrassed. It's been over 15 years since that happened and I still don't feel 100% comfortable around my family. There aren't that many jokes anymore but I get uncomfortable around family members pets, because I feel they are scrutinizing me if I pet their dog or show it any attention.

I talked to my ex Amanda about a year ago. She called my brother because I had changed my number and she could not find me. She said it was important she get in touch with me about a legal issue so my brother gave her my number. She called and said she got married and when she went to put her new husbands name on the deed to the house, she realized my name was still listed on it. She wanted me to sign over my half of the house to her and him. We had paid cash for the house at the time and after so many years I had forgotten that I was still on the deed. I told her no problem even though part of me wanted to make her life hell for what she did to me. I was scared that she would bring up that shit again and make things worse, so I just agreed to sign whatever she wanted. A couple weeks later the title company sent me some legal paperwork I had to sign in front of a notary at my bank. I Fedex'd the papers back and that was that. Or so I thought.

She called me to thank me for signing the papers and I said ok your welcome. She then asked if I had ever got the mental help I needed for my problem. I was shocked she brought this crap back up but I said I'm ok and have a good day and started to hang up. She blurted out that she hoped I didn't own any animals. She sort of framed it like a question and I said, no I don't but have a good day and I hung up. Fear instantly came up as I wondered would she start calling any of my family or friends and making another situation for me. I was scared for several weeks after that. I kept worrying I could get a call from a family member, my current wife or my boss that she had contacted them.

After a while, nothing happened and I moved on. To this day, I still worry about her popping up one day and making trouble. I doubt I will ever hear from her again. In fact I hope I never do, for my sanity sake. I did get remarried some years back and my wife knows nothing about my sexual attraction to dogs. Yes, we own 2 dogs and I have become extremely careful when it comes to any type of activity involving animals. I use VPN's and a secured laptop with a virtual drive to download dog videos, search for others like me and chat with women who are into it. My wife is bisexual so we do have sexual relationships with other girls and sometimes guys but my animal desires have no part in that. I have met other girls and had sex with them privately outside my marriage with animals. Some I paid as you may not like that type of thing, but I don't mind paying for the pleasure of fulfilling my sex fantasies. For my job, I have often made business trip excuses to go to Japan and I find it very easy to meet women there who are into it. I also find the sex trade market to be very easy there, if you don't mind paying for experiences with animals and women. I am just 1000 times more careful than ever before. I often use a fake name, I try to pay for access using crypto or cash and I will never tell my wife anything at all about this. I love her with all my heart but I will die before risking another incident like I experienced. I only share my desires with people I meet online who are already into this, or I go to a country where it is more accepted. I struggled with cheating on my wife without her knowing, but since we have often invite other sexual partners into our mutual relationship, I make excuses that what I do is not as bad. I wished we lived in a world where I could be totally honest and accepted about this one thing, but this is not reality.

This was my experience and you may not have the same outcome but I write this partly because I wanted to get it off my chest and because I want it to be a small warning. Be careful who you tell about your innermost thoughts! This is a fickle world we live in and not everyone is accepting as we are. Many in society have trouble accepting anything that is different than the status quo. A lot of places have laws now that will even prosecute you for this. They will splash your name all over the news and let the world know what your into, if you get caught. In my state, they have arrested people both men and women for having videos of sex with animals. They have charged them with animal abuse, crimes against nature and posted their mugshots for the world to see. I'm sure it ruined not only their family and friends relationships but their jobs as well. Not to mention you can get actual jail or prison time. So while I won't ever stop at this point, I do take great precautions so as not to be vulnerable. I see videos where people are showing their faces, their tattoos, pics of family hanging on the wall and other identifiers in the background, etc. I do not understand why or how you could take that risk. All it takes is one single person to make one phone call and your life would be a living hell. Not to mention blackmail as I really thought at one point that my ex would try to blackmail me if I refused to sign the papers for the deed on the house. I have dragged this post out long enough but I thank you for listening to my story if you read this far.

God Bless and good luck with your adventures but stay safe and smart out there.
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not that she didnt trust you around the dog, she really didnt trust the dog around you. she is jealous of the dog but there is conflict between jealousy and pride. people dont feel comfortable to admit jealousy for the animal because they view animals as property. it is easier for them to put the burden of responsibility on and let go of things that dont belong to them or the things they value less as property. this occurs commonly in cultures that view everything in terms of property ownership. the cultures in question might believe the idea that anal sex belongs to gays. certain people "sort" you to where they believe you beling or to what they believe you belong with as if you were merchandise on a shelf.

so it is a love hate relationship for someones property they cant hate it because owning it makes them look good but they cant love it if they are jealous so they redirect that hate to you to make ownership of something they hate, but need, easier to cope with. the dissonance is similar to a person who loves animals but eats meat.

fantasies of kidnap and rape may be an indication of fetishizing property ownership and a warning of what you had the misfortune of experiencing. this occurs in both men and women.

what you do with animals and your sexual attractions to animals are not bad. good thing is your life is not as much a living hell as people who are obsessed with and need ownership, everybody and the dog are allegedly out to get what they have. yes this is dangerous for you and the the rest of us. the laws were made by these anxiety ridden people who cannot or will not relax their control, to make them feel like they are in control but this only encourages their aggression. people like this might even move to places that aggravate their control anxiety by giving them the control they cant bear to lose, rather than just being happy without it.
 
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First I am sorry that she reacted this way, she overreacted! But you can also see that you "dodged a bullet" with her. Yes this is an unusual desire, yes this can be considered a kink, but you didn't ask her to do it. You clearly stated this was a fantasy. She was out to punish you and destroy you. This is a bit of an unusual reaction. Even if she was horrified by this (which she clearly was) she was more than that, she was vindictive and hate filled. And she has to live with that hate in her. This is the kind of thing that really destroys a person inside. But it belongs to her not you and she has to own it (whether she wants to or not). Unfortunately for you, you got caught up in this self hate and my heart goes out to you.
This kind of over-reaction always brings to mind what her fantasies are and what is she hiding?
 
hell that's rought and also the way she acted after you told her is terrible i can understand someone who isn't into this be weirded out but what she did is a lot she says you are basically a pedophilia but then she fucks with your entire life just for fun she sent letters to people you know destroyed your relationship with that other girl and she even started screaming like a maniac in public she is the one who need help with her mental health
 
Hells teeth!
What a ghastly specimen she is. Surely there was something hiding deep inside her to get a response like that?
I sincerely wish you all the best going forwards in life after having to deal with that.
 
I’m sorry you had that experience. I can totally relate to what you were going through. Amanda just overreacted. I think she is the one who needs mental health help. You should not have let her blackmail you. You just told her that was your fantasy. There was no evidence that you did anything sexually with the dog. Even if you came out as a zoo, they don’t have any evidence against you.
 
ADreamOfLiberty said:
Everybody thinks baby animals are cute, but these people lean into it hard. They take their parental instincts and they roleplay so deep they can't remember it's imaginary.

Cute = innocent = child => asexual
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The really weird thing to me is that most people who argue that animals are equivalent to minor children and can't consent apply that logic *solely* to zoosexuality, completely ignoring that if they extend that logic consistently, 1) everyone really should be vegan because animals don't "consent" to being killed and eaten either and 2) animals have sex with each other in the wild, all the time.

For that matter, anti-zoo laws *literally do* prohibit standard animal husbandry practices carried out by livestock breeders around the world on a regular basis; it's just quietly unenforced that way.
 
Dgordon22 said:
This is my story of how my life was utterly destroyed 15 years ago from me telling someone I loved about my interest in Beastiality. This may be a long post but might be of interest to someone thinking about telling a partner. Not saying all outcomes will be like this, but I post this as a warning for the worst case scenario.
First about me: I am in my mid 40's a male and pretty normal as far as humans go. I fully enjoy sex with my human partner but I also enjoy other sexual appetites and fantasies such as beastiality, roleplay and other things that really have no bearing here.

I had been dating girls since I was 16 and not mentioned my interest in dogs for fear of embarrassment. Plus in most relationships I lived in apartments and could not have a dog. That all changed when I fell in love with the girl in this story. We will call her "Amanda" even though that is not her real name. I also post on this forum using a VPN routed through 3 different countries and using a fake email and nickname, as I'm deathly afraid of ever having more attention drawn to me on this subject. You'll understand why in a few minutes. Amanda and me dated for about 6 months before moving in together. Everything in our relationship was great. I asked her to marry me about a year later and she accepted. We bought our own place and started getting ready for the marriage and kids in the future. We got a dog, a German Shepherd and I was not sexually active with the dog but I had thought about it, based on my previous experiences with dogs growing up. It had been many years since I had touched a dog in any sexual way at this point.

Our sex life was better than great! Amanda was wild from day one and she enjoyed all sorts of kinky things in the bedroom. One night we were laying in bed making out and talking about our fantasies. We had done this before but it got really serious this night. She asked me to tell her my darkest fantasy that I would never tell anyone else. I told her she already knew all my deepest thoughts but she kept on about how everyone has things they don't want anyone to know and we should just be honest with each other, since we were going to be married soon. She insisted she was cool with anything I fantasized about. She said she would go first to put me at ease. She told me she had a fantasy about being kidnapped and raped. She got very sexually excited about it, but after dating 30-40 different girls in my life, I had actually figured out that more than a few girls seem to have this same fantasy for some reason. So, it did not shock me to hear this.

She kept on me to tell her what I fantasized about and I should tell her my innermost secrets. I thought ok I'm gonna tell her about me wanting to see her with the dog. I explained how I'd love to watch the dog lick her pussy while I jacked off. As soon as the words left my mouth, I saw the look on her face change to puzzlement. She was like "what??" I said, I just have this fantasy about watching the dog lick your pussy and you moaning in pleasure, while I jack off. She sat up in bed and had a look of total shock. She said are you for real? You want me to have sex with a fucking dog? She grabbed the covers and pulled them up over her bare chest like she was suddenly ashamed to be naked in front of me. She sat there for a minute and I tried to explain that it was just a fantasy and let's forget about it. She looked me dead in the eyes and asked if I had ever touched our dog. I said, no, it was just a fantasy, I would never do that.(at this point I was beginning to feel panic, cause I knew she was not taking this well)

She jumped out the bed and went to the bathroom and I tried to get her to open the door and talk to me. She screamed at me to leave her alone. So I went to the living room and sat on the couch a while. She finally came out and asked me again if I had touched our dog in any way, like a sexual way. I said no, never. She asked me if any of my previous girlfriends had gone along with shit like this. I said no, I never told anyone anything like that before. She said she felt sick and disgusted. She asked me to leave the house. I was like are you serious, this is my house too. She started screaming at me to get out and go to a hotel and give her some time to think. She kept screaming and screaming, so I grabbed an extra shirt and pants and left. I stayed at a hotel that night and came back the next day but she wasn't there and didn't come home from work. I finally got through to her after calling like 50 times. She said she was at her friends house and would be staying there for a while. I told her I was sorry and to just come home so we could talk. She refused and said she had taken the dog with her as she didn't trust me around him. She had also explained the situation to her friend, whom I was best friends with her husband. When she told me that, my jaw just dropped open. I couldn't believe it.

To make this long story shorter, I'll abbreviate the next few weeks. She eventually came back home and we argued for a lot. She did not want anything to do with me now. She cried, I cried and we cried together but in the end she said it just disgusted her so much that she felt like I was as bad as a child molester. She went on and on about how animals are innocent and how could any person dare touch them or use them like that. She said they have the mind of a child and that's why she considers me no better than people who mess with kids. She threw her engagement ring at me and told me to pack and get out the house. I moved in with a friend for about 5-6 months. During that time I met another girl that worked for me. She had also been flirty at work but when she found out my engagement was off, she poured it on big time.

One day we were on break and my corporate job was at a large facility where we had multiple restaurants inside for employees to eat at. She sat down at my table and we began talking. She said she was wondering if I could come to her house after work and help her with something. She said she had been trying to install a shelf above her washing machine to put detergent on but couldn't so it herself. She needed one person to hold the shelf in place while the other drilled the holes and placed the screws underneath. I agreed to go as it would only take a few minutes. Once I got to her house we put the shelf up in 5 minutes. She said she wanted to make me supper as a thank you but I told her it wasn't necessary. She insisted so I stayed and after supper, she sat next to me on the couch and well, I think you can guess how things went next. We started dating and had been going out about 2 months when we were at a local grocery store together and low and behold, we ran into my ex fiancé and her mom. I had thought it was all in the past now, but how wrong I was.

They walked up to us and at first it seemed like we were just going to be friendly. I said hello and Amanda said hi and how was I doing. I said ok and I saw her looking at my new girlfriend so I introduced her. She said it was nice to meet her but I could tell she was pissed underneath her fake smile. I said we have to be going and we started to walk away. Amanda turned and looked directly at my new girlfriend and asked "has he asked you to fuck a dog yet?" I about died right there as it was so loud, I'm sure 20 other people in the store heard it. I said what the fuck and before I could get another word out, Amanda said "yeah, tell her how you asked me to have sex with our dog." She was shouting at this point. Luckily her mom said Amanda, that's enough lets get out of here and started dragging her away by her arm. I think her mom was as embarrassed as I was. Still, even as we put distance between each other, she was shouting, "if he hasn't asked you to fuck the family dog, he will soon."

Once outside the store and in the car, I was apologizing to my new girlfriend and she was asking me to explain what just happened. I was caught red handed so I knew that lying would not do any good. I told her I had one fucking fantasy about watching a girl with a dog and I had told Amanda that one night and she went berserk. I told her I no longer felt that way and I would never ask her to do something like that. She didn't say much else and it was very awkward driving back to the house. The entire demeanor of our relationship changed after that. We didn't talk about what happened again but she had a small dog and any time it came into the room and I would pet it, I could see her look at me sideways as if watching me. The sex seemed to get more bland and one day I just told her I was moving back to my home state. I'd had enough of that area and needed a fresh start. I knew my instincts were true when she didn't even try to talk me out of it. She said she would help me pack.

Back home where I grew up, I moved into my grandparents house where I was raised. They were getting older and as I looked for a new job, I figured I'd spend some time with them and help out. About a month after moving back, I came home from a new job I had just started. My grandfather, grandmother an Aunt and an Uncle were all there sitting at the dining table. I knew something was wrong as soon as I entered. They asked me to sit down and I did. I asked what was wrong and my grandfather said there was no easy way to explain so he handed me an envelope. I took a letter out and unfolded it. The letter was from Amanda and addressed to my grandparents. It basically read that she was sorry and missed them.(she had grown close to my family before we moved to Chicago for my job up there)
She said that she wanted them to know that the breakup was not her fault and that she had found out their grandson had some mental problems. She said I had asked her to have sex with our beloved dog and wanted her to commit crimes and sex acts on him, like a child molester does with children. She said she had no choice but to kick me out and that she was telling them this, because she believes I need mental help. She ranted and raved on about how I had destroyed her life and he didn't want me destroying other lives with other girls. She also said she knew my grandparents had a dog and she was concerned I might try to molest it or worse, rape it. I finished reading the letter and immediately said this was bullshit and I couldn't believe she was saying this shit to get back at me for the failed relationship.

I tried to play it off like she was a scorned and deranged ex lover. My Aunt looked at me and started to cry. She opened her purse and said she had also got a letter that read very similar to the one my grandparents had received. She said my grandfather had called her and told her about the letter he got and didn't know what to do. He didn't know if he should mention it to me or if it was real. She told him she got one too and that's when she came over and they waited for me to come home from work. Turns out Amanda mailed one to every single family member she could find addresses for. She wrote to my other grandparents, my other aunt and uncle, several cousins, even to my old best friend I grew up with. My life was over...

I eventually talked to everyone that got a letter and in all cases I tried and lied to make it seem like she was a scorned ex who had an agenda to destroy me. Most people said they understood and they didn't believe it. However, my life never felt the same way again, around any of my family. Some family members would even make jokes about it at family get togethers. Like we'd be in the backyard having a bbq and someone's dog would walk up and beg for food off your plate. One of my cousins or uncles would joke, that the dog should beg me for food because I had a special way with animals. Some people would laugh and others would say oh stop that. They would slap me on the back like it was the funniest thing ever. I'd laugh like I thought it was funny but inside I was still dying and embarrassed. It's been over 15 years since that happened and I still don't feel 100% comfortable around my family. There aren't that many jokes anymore but I get uncomfortable around family members pets, because I feel they are scrutinizing me if I pet their dog or show it any attention.

I talked to my ex Amanda about a year ago. She called my brother because I had changed my number and she could not find me. She said it was important she get in touch with me about a legal issue so my brother gave her my number. She called and said she got married and when she went to put her new husbands name on the deed to the house, she realized my name was still listed on it. She wanted me to sign over my half of the house to her and him. We had paid cash for the house at the time and after so many years I had forgotten that I was still on the deed. I told her no problem even though part of me wanted to make her life hell for what she did to me. I was scared that she would bring up that shit again and make things worse, so I just agreed to sign whatever she wanted. A couple weeks later the title company sent me some legal paperwork I had to sign in front of a notary at my bank. I Fedex'd the papers back and that was that. Or so I thought.

She called me to thank me for signing the papers and I said ok your welcome. She then asked if I had ever got the mental help I needed for my problem. I was shocked she brought this crap back up but I said I'm ok and have a good day and started to hang up. She blurted out that she hoped I didn't own any animals. She sort of framed it like a question and I said, no I don't but have a good day and I hung up. Fear instantly came up as I wondered would she start calling any of my family or friends and making another situation for me. I was scared for several weeks after that. I kept worrying I could get a call from a family member, my current wife or my boss that she had contacted them.

After a while, nothing happened and I moved on. To this day, I still worry about her popping up one day and making trouble. I doubt I will ever hear from her again. In fact I hope I never do, for my sanity sake. I did get remarried some years back and my wife knows nothing about my sexual attraction to dogs. Yes, we own 2 dogs and I have become extremely careful when it comes to any type of activity involving animals. I use VPN's and a secured laptop with a virtual drive to download dog videos, search for others like me and chat with women who are into it. My wife is bisexual so we do have sexual relationships with other girls and sometimes guys but my animal desires have no part in that. I have met other girls and had sex with them privately outside my marriage with animals. Some I paid as you may not like that type of thing, but I don't mind paying for the pleasure of fulfilling my sex fantasies. For my job, I have often made business trip excuses to go to Japan and I find it very easy to meet women there who are into it. I also find the sex trade market to be very easy there, if you don't mind paying for experiences with animals and women. I am just 1000 times more careful than ever before. I often use a fake name, I try to pay for access using crypto or cash and I will never tell my wife anything at all about this. I love her with all my heart but I will die before risking another incident like I experienced. I only share my desires with people I meet online who are already into this, or I go to a country where it is more accepted. I struggled with cheating on my wife without her knowing, but since we have often invite other sexual partners into our mutual relationship, I make excuses that what I do is not as bad. I wished we lived in a world where I could be totally honest and accepted about this one thing, but this is not reality.

This was my experience and you may not have the same outcome but I write this partly because I wanted to get it off my chest and because I want it to be a small warning. Be careful who you tell about your innermost thoughts! This is a fickle world we live in and not everyone is accepting as we are. Many in society have trouble accepting anything that is different than the status quo. A lot of places have laws now that will even prosecute you for this. They will splash your name all over the news and let the world know what your into, if you get caught. In my state, they have arrested people both men and women for having videos of sex with animals. They have charged them with animal abuse, crimes against nature and posted their mugshots for the world to see. I'm sure it ruined not only their family and friends relationships but their jobs as well. Not to mention you can get actual jail or prison time. So while I won't ever stop at this point, I do take great precautions so as not to be vulnerable. I see videos where people are showing their faces, their tattoos, pics of family hanging on the wall and other identifiers in the background, etc. I do not understand why or how you could take that risk. All it takes is one single person to make one phone call and your life would be a living hell. Not to mention blackmail as I really thought at one point that my ex would try to blackmail me if I refused to sign the papers for the deed on the house. I have dragged this post out long enough but I thank you for listening to my story if you read this far.

God Bless and good luck with your adventures but stay safe and smart out there.
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women ☕️
 
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