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Outed myself to my parents as Zoo

BearInMind

BearInMind

Tourist
Greetings.

Well, to give you guys a quick outline of who I am and why that is relevant to my story:
I am male, 30+ years old , no pets, no girlfriend atm and I am living far enough away from the rest of my family, that weekly visits ain't an option.
Which is a fact that I quite enjoy, 'cause as nice as they are, they like to put there noses in to things where they don't belong.
Typical family I guess. ;)

So the holidays are one of those rare occasion on which I am able to spent a few days with everyone.
For the outing itself... well, it wasn't something that I have planed ahead. I mean I wanted to talk to someone I could trust about my sexuality
for quite some time. Just to get off of my chest so to say and have someone I could 'act' normal around.
The outing actually started as an "why are you still single"-talk.
Told them that I have convessed myself to my girlfried, since I didn't want to life like a gay man in the last century 20's. Hiding and keeping his head low whilst getting so frustrated that he beats up the childing or something...

After all, I am not so sure how well it went...
I've tried to explain that, as far as I can remember, I felt attracted to animals. Dogs and horses in particular. But I also love to have them around me. Being attracted to women and at rare occasions to men is also part of my sexual identity.
"But those poor critters... you hurt them!" I what?!
Took me a while to explain them that I am an animal lover, not an animal fucker or zoosadist.
I could never hurt an animal nore force them to something they don't want. It even makes me sick to see those "trapped sheep" videos where the animal is not able to run away. I even go so far and not get a pet as long as I struggle with my financial situation. I want my dog to be at good health at all times. Poor thing not getting a treatment 'cause I am not at good wealth? Unimaginable.
That did kinda cool things down a bit. Yet they kept talking to me I have some sort of mental illness that has to be cured.
"Can't you just keep fantazysing and swollow it down?" So I can life a lie for my entire life? No thank you. - Was my reaction.

I am not sure if I did the right thing here.
Still feels like they might call out on me as soon life with a pet.
 
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Honestly I probably would have just confided in someone on here or a furry forum somewhere. Telling someone you know irl can be dangerous, even if you really want to. But otherwise I hope it went well.
 
@BearInMind

Your coming out went about as good as it ever got for gay guys in the 1990's. It was not always a happy occasion with "coming out cakes" and applause. Best case scenario, back then, was confusion, misinterpretation, probably guilt on the part of the parents. There was zero information about us available to straight parents, besides negative propaganda.

Keep in mind, this is a strange thing for your parents to think about, and you might be the first person they have ever met that has the feelings you do. They are probably confused because you are not like they expected such a person to be, frankly the opposite. Consider their position, and you might feel proud of them.

From here, just go on being yourself. Live well, and live morally.
 
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Chances are, I'll never tell my parents. Even though they are very accepting and told me that if I'm gay they would support me, which I am not. I'm straight for humans, but I have a stronger attraction to animals of both sexes. So I'll probably find a girl who is also a Zoophile, so we can both have fun, and marry her.
 
I’m happy for you that you came out to your family if it’s something you felt you needed to do, and I’m sorry that they chalked it down to mental illness instead of just trying to understand it fully! I hope it went well and your family treat you as normal!
 
Well i think that went about as well as it could have, and a small kudos for having the courage to tell your family about your orientation. I wouldn't be able to tell my family about it, but to each their own i suppose. I sincerely hope the seed you have sown will grow into acceptance at some point :)
 
If it is a mental disorder, then I don't want to be cured. Zoophilia is very common, it's just so taboo that people don't talk about it enough. A study in the 70's found that nearly 5% of men are Zoophiles and 2% of women. Accounting for the exponential growth of arrests for bestiality in the 40+ years since, and it's clear to see that Zoophilia is far more common even than homosexuality and bisexuality combined. I'm sure if we got a "Me too" thing started we could experience a serious culture shock.
 
Flint said:
If it is a mental disorder, then I don't want to be cured. Zoophilia is very common, it's just so taboo that people don't talk about it enough. A study in the 70's found that nearly 5% of men are Zoophiles and 2% of women. Accounting for the exponential growth of arrests for bestiality in the 40+ years since, and it's clear to see that Zoophilia is far more common even than homosexuality and bisexuality combined. I'm sure if we got a "Me too" thing started we could experience a serious culture shock.
Click to expand...

No, sorry. That study is not representative of the populace, or at least not of the populace nowadays. Those 5% - I think I recall - are people who stated they had sex with an animal. First of all self-reporting in studies is always questionable, and second, just having sex with the cows when you were so horny a power outlet would have done the job too is not zoophilia.
The populace has also changed, nowadays half the people live and grow up in the cities. So no parents' cows around.

I have no idea where you pull you exponential growth from, but that might just as well be the new laws against it being applied instead of the occurence growing with a constant law enforcement being applied to that.

"Zoophilia is far more common even than homosexuality and bisexuality combined. "

That is just dellusional.

I love my mare, but let's not be idiots on purpose when it comes to numbers and verifiable distributions and all that.
 
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And @BearInMind I forgot to say, thank you for coming out. It might not seem like you accomplished much, but those guys can never again go through life believing that people like us are despicable monsters.

They might not approve of us, and they might think we need mental help. Free psychotherapy sounds good to me. I have been to one before for grieving related reasons, and it's great. Sign me up. Being sent to someone whose job it is to help me sounds a lot better that being put in a cell.

But because of you, now they know I might be a real person and not some kind of monster. That might save my life one day.

Harvey Milk's mass coming out campaign in California is what helped defeat the Briggs Initiative, and coming out is going to play a large role in changing the situation for zoos in the western world.

It's not really a sacrifice because you have a lot of good people doing it with you. The movement is finally starting to come together.
 
pferdefreund said:
No, sorry. That study is not representative of the populace, or at least not of the populace nowadays. Those 5% - I think I recall - are people who stated they had sex with an animal. First of all self-reporting in studies is always questionable, and second, just having sex with the cows when you were so horny a power outlet would have done the job too is not zoophilia.
The populace has also changed, nowadays half the people live and grow up in the cities. So no parents' cows around.

I have no idea where you pull you exponential growth from, but that might just as well be the new laws against it being applied instead of the occurence growing with a constant law enforcement being applied to that.

"Zoophilia is far more common even than homosexuality and bisexuality combined. "

That is just dellusional.

I love my mare, but let's not be idiots on purpose when it comes to numbers and verifiable distributions and all that.
Click to expand...
Damn, didn't know that. That's disappointing.
 
BearInMind said:
Greetings.

Well, to give you guys a quick outline of who I am and why that is relevant to my story:
I am male, 30+ years old , no pets, no girlfriend atm and I am living far enough away from the rest of my family, that weekly visits ain't an option.
Which is a fact that I quite enjoy, 'cause as nice as they are, they like to put there noses in to things where they don't belong.
Typical family I guess. ;)

So the holidays are one of those rare occasion on which I am able to spent a few days with everyone.
For the outing itself... well, it wasn't something that I have planed ahead. I mean I wanted to talk to someone I could trust about my sexuality
for quite some time. Just to get off of my chest so to say and have someone I could 'act' normal around.
The outing actually started as an "why are you still single"-talk.
Told them that I have convessed myself to my girlfried, since I didn't want to life like a gay man in the last century 20's. Hiding and keeping his head low whilst getting so frustrated that he beats up the childing or something...

After all, I am not so sure how well it went...
I've tried to explain that, as far as I can remember, I felt attracted to animals. Dogs and horses in particular. But I also love to have them around me. Being attracted to women and at rare occasions to men is also part of my sexual identity.
"But those poor critters... you hurt them!" I what?!
Took me a while to explain them that I am an animal lover, not an animal fucker or zoosadist.
I could never hurt an animal nore force them to something they don't want. It even makes me sick to see those "trapped sheep" videos where the animal is not able to run away. I even go so far and not get a pet as long as I struggle with my financial situation. I want my dog to be at good health at all times. Poor thing not getting a treatment 'cause I am not at good wealth? Unimaginable.
That did kinda cool things down a bit. Yet they kept talking to me I have some sort of mental illness that has to be cured.
"Can't you just keep fantazysing and swollow it down?" So I can life a lie for my entire life? No thank you. - Was my reaction.

I am not sure if I did the right thing here.
Still feels like they might call out on me as soon life with a pet.
Click to expand...

No hate i'm just not in the same situation like you to understand but why even bother telling them? Its not like they want to watch you do stuff with animals nor want to hear your experiences all the time? Imo ones Sex life is very Private i personally dont even care telling people i'm into beast because its my Private sex life? With my Partner
 
Woke said:
No hate i'm just not in the same situation like you to understand but why even bother telling them? Its not like they want to watch you do stuff with animals nor want to hear your experiences all the time? Imo ones Sex life is very Private i personally dont even care telling people i'm into beast because its my Private sex life? With my Partner
Click to expand...

No offense taken. ;)
I just wanted them to see my true self. As silly as it might sounds, but it was killing me, not to able to say: I have someone who knows who I really am.
And from my experience, it is best to start with those you love, than with 'some girl you met a few weeks ago, just because you feel she might have the same interest'.
 
BearInMind said:
Caps and font color is not make your point stronger.
Click to expand...

But more prominent.

Besides, I am not living under a stone. I am perfectly happy. But as for outing, I see it as a game theory problem: The probability to gain anything from it is very very low. And the potential gain is not much. The probability to lose everything you have - and are in fact (see the current Whitney Wisconsin thread, the current vet thread and pretty much every other thread on the guys and girls who got doxxed from their videos) - is very high.

If you multiply those for the expectations you have on that gamble, for me it is the obvious choice not to out oneself as long as possible.

How many more people does one need to see to blow up their lives, lose their jobs, and even go to jail, until that point finally settles?

I have seen several dozen people utterly annihilating their lives and losing their animals, I have seen about 4 to 5 people losing their entire careers, and I have known 2 people (not closely personal but we talked) who later went to jail for half a year and a year.

And what for? What was the potential payoff that would have countered that risk? Just why? This is why I always tell the noobs not to out themselves. A thousand people have tried before you, you will not be different. And as we saw, even the laws can change under your feet. If you were out because it was legal, and now it is illegal, guess what you cannot take back then. And guess what will happen next.

next edit: Forgot that dozen or so who told me their parents / partners / eventual authorities admitted them to some form of mental health treatment - mild and not so mild therapy. Which I would judge to be potentially worse and more dangerous than jailtime.
 
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I find it interesting... i'm assuming all the people who say "OMG DONT TELL ANYONE" are probably also wanting for zoophilia to at some point be acceptable to society? Hmm...how's it going to get to that point if all the zoos forever stay quiet? It's not going to just become accepted magically on its own. People are MUCH more likely to be accepting towards something if they know someone who fits into the category being discussed.
 
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HyperWoof said:
I find it interesting... i'm assuming all the people who say "OMG DONT TELL ANYONE" are probably also wanting for zoophilia to at some point be acceptable by society? Hmm...how's it going to get to that point if all the zoos forever stay quiet? It's not going to just become accepted magically on its own. People are MUCH more likely to be accepting towards something if they know someone who fits into the category being discussed.
Click to expand...

You got to be aware of the zeitgeist you live in. Right now it makes more sense to wait for the Overton window to widen enough on its own by e.g. Western societies becoming less monotheistic (read Christian mostly) or similar. We are so far away from "acceptance" at the moment, even if all of us here who are not simply into the bestiality as a fetish would go full activist, we would not see "acceptance" in our lifetimes. Society and zeitgeist etc are massively moving into the other direction right now, where they make it specifically illegal when before it was mostly overlooked.

You also got to be aware of the numbers. Zoos are such a teeny tiny group, nobody gives a shit in politics.

And last time we had a poll on that question I answered "I don't need acceptance, I just need it to not be specifically illegal" - merely for the record.
 
I understand the loneliness of being around people who you feel do not know you. Some may even think they love you but you feel like they only love a part of you. Kind of like Elsa in the original frozen, they only love the good one, the mask you put on. But this it not Frozen and we don't have amazing magical powers. It seems nice to be free but there is a price for everything.
Me being outed was not my choice, it was a mistake. It came close to costing me everything and had to tell and live a lie for a time to repair it. There was a lot of lost time and hurt feelings.
This is what I learned. People only love part of you no mater who you are. I have met zoos in real life and I thought I was free, even fell in love with one but he could not love all of me either. He could love the zoo in me but not the sadness that I bring nor many of the other little pieces that make up who I am, having no direct connection with me being zoo.
I am not a crusader, I do not have the desire to stand and rage against humanity, who will always find "lesser" people to grind under their boot heals. It is not in me to right all the wrongs of the world.
What is in me is to bite my tongue and let people love whatever small part of me that they can love and I try to to do the same for them. The person that discovered me hated me for a while and it hurt a lot. Not sure she ever forgave me completely and not sure if she could have if she knew it never did stop but I loved her and I took care of her and I would not have missed out on the time I got back for all the coming out freedom.
Society says we are wrong, so for now we are wrong. If anyone want to rage against that and be a martyr that is your choice, try to be a likeable one, but that is not me.
I have chosen to let people love pieces of me when I know they cannot love all of me because I loved pieces of them too.
 
Well, sounds like everyone here got a little distracted or off topic.
Yes, I want to be accepted for who I am. But I don't want the world to know who I am, just those who are the closest to me.
I am not on a crusade. I mean, check out my original post. There is nothing written about changes in society or what times we are living in etc. That is what people made out of it. I am nothing but a son who wanted his parents to understand that he is not some kind of freak or monster, but a person that has the ability to care for and love animals as much as humans.
Screw society. It is a proven fact that humans act dumber, the bigger the group they are in. So I have little to no hope to be able to be a completely outed Zoo and be accepted during my lifetime. All I have is the hope to be able to be who I am amongst those I most care about.
 
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That is what makes it so powerful, @BearInMind. Their relationship with you makes them informed about you. Maybe doing something powerful was not why you did it, but that is what happened.

Somehow, you got the idea that you SHOULD be able to trust your closest friends and family. Whether you got that idea from a book, a fellow zoo, or your mom and dad themselves, it is a powerful idea.
 
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I hope things continue to go well for you. You apparently need that acceptance. It could have gone very different and you could have been in the spotlight. Once you put that out there it has a life of its own and where ever it goes from the people you told is now out of your control. I hope you never face any bad consequences over this but you could. It still could return to hurt you. Things have a terrible way of unraveling when you do not expect it. Good luck.
 
I hope so as well. Maybe OP updates us down the road in one two etc years what happened with the info and him.
 
My entire family and relatives know that I don't want anything such as a relationship with humans.
But they don't know of my zoophile side though.

I prefer to live alone, because that's a lot quieter and much more peaceful and everything I own is mine, entirely.
for me humans are annoying, the sounds they make and in general, their presence.

Animals are the total opposite of that, they could make noise all day.. such as Ostriches running around on their pasture, hissing and so on... that doesn't bother me at all.

Wish zoophiles were globally accepted the same way gays or lesbians are accepted: weird, but ok.
 
I'm glad you came out as zoo to your parents (I did also). I also want to say that being a zoo is NOT a "mental disorder". The notion that being sexually attracted to animals is a "mental illness" is bullshit, and that perception is caused by anti-zoo prejudice. People should accept their zoo feelings and be proud of them (there is nothing "wrong" with them). Humans are animals after all.

pferdefreund said:
As for OP and every bypasser:

Do. Not. Tell. Anyone.

Unless you also enjoy juggling with chainsaws while having an overdose of highly experimental drugs. Then go ahead.
Click to expand...

If someone (a zoo) is in a relationship with another human (and they met via "conventional" means, such as a normal dating website), should the zoo reveal his/her zoosexuality to the other person?

Also, is writing an anonymous zoo blog too risky?

pferdefreund said:
You got to be aware of the zeitgeist you live in. Right now it makes more sense to wait for the Overton window to widen enough on its own by e.g. Western societies becoming less monotheistic (read Christian mostly) or similar. We are so far away from "acceptance" at the moment, even if all of us here who are not simply into the bestiality as a fetish would go full activist, we would not see "acceptance" in our lifetimes. Society and zeitgeist etc are massively moving into the other direction right now, where they make it specifically illegal when before it was mostly overlooked.
Click to expand...

The question is, how are people supposed to fight these bullshit anti-zoo laws? In the United States, there have been more than 10 new anti-zoo laws in only the past 5 years. In 2013, sex with animals was legal in Alabama, New Hampshire, Texas, Nevada, Vermont, Kentucky and others, and now in 2020 it is illegal in all of those states. And the same thing is happening in Europe -- more and more anti-zoo laws keep being made. When is this anti-zoo bullshit going to end?

Also, what advice would you give to people who are actively having sex with animals within a jurisdiction in which sex with animals is illegal?
 
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Woke said:
No hate i'm just not in the same situation like you to understand but why even bother telling them? Its not like they want to watch you do stuff with animals nor want to hear your experiences all the time? Imo ones Sex life is very Private i personally dont even care telling people i'm into beast because its my Private sex life? With my Partner
Click to expand...

I agree that the details of one's sex life are a private matter, yet it's absolutely normal for people to tell others whom they are in love with. It is also common for other people, especially one's family and friends, to be interested in and ask about your partnership status.
 
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