Thank you all for the thoughtful replies. It warms my heart the level of concern you have for my future K9 companion. First, I want to assure you that I will get my dog to be my animal companion first and foremost. Part of moving forward is letting go of my fantasies and working towards a sustainable future for myself. Gone are the thoughts of having a collie, a german shepherd, or a larger breed dog. I really am thinking of a black lab. whatever dog I get will be with me for life. Even if he doesn't end up my lover, he will be loved and cared for. His health, saftey, and well-being would be my number one concern.
I have just started my path of stripping away the fantasies, coming to terms with my true nature, and planning on where to go next. It's a hard place to be, losing the person you planned on growing old with. Now is the time to face my fear of loneliness, my fear of being rejected, and my fear of not being able to explore my true sexuality. I know I have a rode of self discovery ahead of me. Thanks for listening to me ramble.