In a LTR with non-zoo partner

[Trajans_tofu]

Right so lately, I've been internally debating if will stay a closeted/repressed zoo forever or if I'll someday have an experience.

I'm in a LTR (basically married) with my girlfriend of 6+ years. I love her a ton but we have a fairly dead bedroom. Outside of sex, she's generally open-minded, but she thinks anything related to zoo is BEYOND disgusting. In fact, she thinks even the milder stuff that I'm into is disgusting, so... I keep it all secret. Like, 80% of my sexuality is secret. It's really fucking hard knowing she'd think of me as a disgusting pervert if she knew the truth. I think she'd absolutely leave me if she found out even half of what I enjoy.

So I've just been kinda living through fantasies. Every few hours, I imagine those "if I were single" fantasies. "I'd experiment so hard!" or "I'd meet people and finally have s great sex life!"...

But then I reality-check. I love my girlfriend and don't want to lose her. Even if I did, I the overlap of women who (a) find me attractive and I find attractive and (b) are into getting fucked / seeing me get fucked by animals....

Even though I'm fairly attractive, that overlap has got to be *so* tiny.


So I conclude that I'm probably better off just repressing this part of me. That is, until another fantasy creeps up.

I should really talk to a therapist.

 

[BitchLicker]

I'm no marriage councilor but really felt the need to stop and warn you about the dangers of trying to repress these things for long periods of time. I've seen it time and time again lead to either a real slow burn deterieration of the relationship over years where resentment builds because a person in the relationship doesn't feel like they can do the things they want or that person suddenly acts on the feelings, the partner finds out and things deterierate that way. Not to say this is something that will 100% happen to you but its something you should be aware of as I've seen it happen so many times in the kink communities my wife and I are more invovled with.

The above being said realtionships are always a game of compromise in some way. My wife and I have been together for over 20 years now and though we are both super open minded and pretty kinky there are kinks she has that I'm not 100% on and there are some I have that she isn't so keen on, zoo being an example of that. None the less I've always done what I can to ensure she has as good a time as she can possibly have and she makes the same efforts for me. If your love of your wife is that strong I'd recommend finding an outlet that lets you deal with your desires without fully repressing them. Porn and talking to someone into the same things can both help there. Also focusing on the things you do enjoy together as opposed to what she doesn't is something that should go without saying. Everyone is into something.