Im New: How am I supposed to accept being a zoo?

C

CinderSapForest

Tourist
i feel so… scared about this. i’m worried i’ve made a mistake even making an account here, that it’ll somehow come back to bite me someday. i don’t know.

i’ve never had a zoo experience before, but i’ve watched so much porn for it. I guess it started from just simple fanfiction, and then i got curious about what it really looked like, and it just snowballed into this. I’m a trans man, 25, and i practically can’t get off without watching someone getting fucked by animals. i don’t finish with other humans, i only get close when i close my eyes and imagine it’s a dog instead.

but everything became so much worse when i rescued a dog off the street. i live with a family member, I knew she’s wanted one for ages and just couldn’t bring herself to try to find a dog, so when i found him i knew he’d be perfect. And he is! around the smaller side, a perfect gentlemen, and for the weeks leading up to my familial roommate getting him fixed, i couldn’t stop thinking about letting him fuck me. it never happened, but i was consumed by the idea, kept thinking “he’s small, it’s perfect for a first try, no one has to know”

and now im here. i just… this is the hardest thing i’ve ever had to come to accept. i’ve tried so many times to stop watching the stuff, force myself to become normal or whatever, and it never works. i always come back to it. i feel like a criminal. i think viewing the porn is the only legal thing in my area, so i’m not a criminal yet… but i’m terrified that because of this… i’m going to become one eventually.
 
I was of a similar mindset, less focused on criminality I've committed crimes before. More the ethics had me worried. But when I started to understand that animals communicate (no duh) that all I had to do was respect their boundaries and let them be heard if anything goes forward.
 
What you do behind your closed doors is totally your right. Just don’t go around telling everyone what you do. And on the net use pseudonyms. Cover up tattoos and you can share what ever you want. You’re a human with a special love for animals. Don’t ever feel like a criminal. Don’t ever feel wrong about what you like. This hurts no one and the animals you love love you back. Trust me they enjoy sex probably more than any of us.
 
When you accept lifes truths. NOBODY knows what the fucks going on. We arent going to live forever. Society and its laws mean well. But are very recent, ever changing, and extremely nuanced systems. The average adult breaks "laws" and "social requirements" daily, either on purpose or out of ignorance.

All that should matter is how you feel about the whole thing, and you do right by yourself by fulfilling those desires, and not hiding from it. You are who you are, no more than anyone can just tell you "you arent trans" or you arent 25 years old. Those are truths, and so are yiu zoosexual desires. Once you realize people dont pay nearly as much attention to you as you think they do. Do right by yourself and your loved ones. Take on a mate be it human or animal and care for them to the best of your ability.
 
I'm not trying to assume...but I'd guess to say that most of the internal struggle would come from what society thinks? Or that your somehow taking advantage. In some cases ppl do....but if it's in your core.....there's nothing to feel bad about. It's a part of you and there's no1 that has the right to judge who we are. If it's to intense of a regretful feeling....the. youll.have to fgure out how to.push it down. But it's much easier to accept what brings you joy. Just educate yourself on things less from a porn standpoint and just dive into some of the hidden culture we all enjoy in. I wish ya the best of luck, and always up for chatting.
 
Shame is corrosive so you should probably work on that. Thing is, the vast majority of people are unlikely to consider this okay for the forseeable future, so I would advice against hoping for the masses to validate your preferences. What really matters here is what you think yourself - you need to be okay with your own preferences. The law should never form your moral foundations because laws change over time and many laws are based on ignorant bullshit.
 
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