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i'm new and sad :(

sadzoo said:
im new , 19 female
i don't know if venting is allowed here but i can't really find anywhere else to talk so here goes
i've been aware of being a zoo for a while now but i kept pushing it down and trying to ignore it and every once in a while it reared it's ugly head and i even once made and soon after deleted social media accounts to engage with the zoo community but i deleted them out of guilt and thought i could just ignore being a zoo until i die or something , i imagine i can have sex with animals in heaven lol , but anyway i keep thinking about it again and even daydreaming about a future where i have my own house and dog ... i want to be a vet but honestly depression is not letting me study for it...i have the most beautiful stud though i am not into horses (weird because im such a horse girl) i'm more into canines , dogs and wolves.
anyway sorry if this is such a word salad i'm having a hard time coming to terms with things
Click to expand...
I’m sorry it makes you feel guilt
 
sadzoo said:
im new , 19 female
i don't know if venting is allowed here but i can't really find anywhere else to talk so here goes
i've been aware of being a zoo for a while now but i kept pushing it down and trying to ignore it and every once in a while it reared it's ugly head and i even once made and soon after deleted social media accounts to engage with the zoo community but i deleted them out of guilt and thought i could just ignore being a zoo until i die or something , i imagine i can have sex with animals in heaven lol , but anyway i keep thinking about it again and even daydreaming about a future where i have my own house and dog ... i want to be a vet but honestly depression is not letting me study for it...i have the most beautiful stud though i am not into horses (weird because im such a horse girl) i'm more into canines , dogs and wolves.
anyway sorry if this is such a word salad i'm having a hard time coming to terms with things
Click to expand...
Big hugs and welcome to the zoo 🤗 x
 
Welcome, and as I bet a lot of people tell you: things get better as you ease into adulthood. When you’re young and all over the place things can be frustrating.

Just trust the process. Times change.
 
sadzoo said:
im new , 19 female
i don't know if venting is allowed here but i can't really find anywhere else to talk so here goes
i've been aware of being a zoo for a while now but i kept pushing it down and trying to ignore it and every once in a while it reared it's ugly head and i even once made and soon after deleted social media accounts to engage with the zoo community but i deleted them out of guilt and thought i could just ignore being a zoo until i die or something , i imagine i can have sex with animals in heaven lol , but anyway i keep thinking about it again and even daydreaming about a future where i have my own house and dog ... i want to be a vet but honestly depression is not letting me study for it...i have the most beautiful stud though i am not into horses (weird because im such a horse girl) i'm more into canines , dogs and wolves.
anyway sorry if this is such a word salad i'm having a hard time coming to terms with things
Click to expand...
hi and wel cum :cool:
 
sadzoo said:
im new , 19 female
i don't know if venting is allowed here but i can't really find anywhere else to talk so here goes
i've been aware of being a zoo for a while now but i kept pushing it down and trying to ignore it and every once in a while it reared it's ugly head and i even once made and soon after deleted social media accounts to engage with the zoo community but i deleted them out of guilt and thought i could just ignore being a zoo until i die or something , i imagine i can have sex with animals in heaven lol , but anyway i keep thinking about it again and even daydreaming about a future where i have my own house and dog ... i want to be a vet but honestly depression is not letting me study for it...i have the most beautiful stud though i am not into horses (weird because im such a horse girl) i'm more into canines , dogs and wolves.
anyway sorry if this is such a word salad i'm having a hard time coming to terms with things
Click to expand...
I have been there, being zoo doesn't go away, depression does with medicine or living in a way that makes you happy. I was depressed three years ago and fooling myself that I was happy without dogs in my life but I wasn't and having them at home has made all the difference for me. Good luck!
 
Welcome! And as others have said be careful! I found out I was zoo at 13. Lonely, lots of unsupervised time in the country and a very VERY horny dog made for some interesting times. Grew up, married, family all that but I'm still very much what I am. Accept yourself and find that peace. You have a ton of life ahead of you so no need to be in a risk either. I wish you well in your journey!
 
27 m here was into zoo at the age of 7 found out years ago my dad was into it as well with alot of subtle hinting don't be so hard on yourself welcome to the community it can be hard but it's always your secret it's what makes you, you especially if you dream of it I think most of us do here
 
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