i'm conflicted, I want zoo friends but I don't want anyone to know my true self

Doggyluv

Doggyluv

Zooville Settler
i've had this dilemma for a long time now. The thought of "coming out" to anyone scares the hell out of me, i have a hard time trusting and opening up to people and if i was outed my life would be over. But i can't shake the feeling that i'm alone, that i have no one to relate to, and express a major part of myself around. I have never even met anyone that i thought might be zoo. I'm envious of zoos that have other zoos in their life, when i hear of zoos with other zoo friends it kinda makes me depressed because i know its possible, it just hasn't happened for me yet. I just hope i don't go through my whole without meeting someone else like me, it seems possible but at the same time impossible. The thought of hanging out with another zoo seems so surreal. So if you feel the same way let me know how you cope, or if you have zoo friends in your life let me know how you met them.
 
I feel the same for a slightly different reason. Finding friends has always been hard for me and the fact that I am zoo does not really help it much. So I do not have many good friends in general.
I have met a few zoos who are now my friends. It usually takes years of online contact to even consider letting someone into your personal life. So be prepared for that. I met them on a local forum not an international one.
In the end hanging out with another zoo is almost exactly the same as any other person. The topic of zoo gets depleted rather quickly, then it is like talking to a person again. :D
 
Doggyluv said:
i've had this dilemma for a long time now. The thought of "coming out" to anyone scares the hell out of me, i have a hard time trusting and opening up to people and if i was outed my life would be over. But i can't shake the feeling that i'm alone, that i have no one to relate to, and express a major part of myself around. I have never even met anyone that i thought might be zoo. I'm envious of zoos that have other zoos in their life, when i hear of zoos with other zoo friends it kinda makes me depressed because i know its possible, it just hasn't happened for me yet. I just hope i don't go through my whole without meeting someone else like me, it seems possible but at the same time impossible. The thought of hanging out with another zoo seems so surreal. So if you feel the same way let me know how you cope, or if you have zoo friends in your life let me know how you met them.
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I hear you on that. It's why I'm here, actually. I have friends from all over the country and Canada. Probably in every single State actually. Thing is, they don't know I'm a zoo. It's a big enough part of my identity that it bothers me people close to me not knowing. Just feels like people don't truly know me because of of it. So here slowly making friends. You're not alone by any means. : )
 
Hello Doggyluv,
being zoo is just a part of your personality.

You bio says otherwise, but don't you have other interests where you could find people/friends?

And why is it so important for you to out yourself?
If your sexuality would be socially acceptable i'd say go for it, but outing yourself as a zoo, is a big nono.
 
while it'd be really nice to have ppl close to me know the real "me" (just so i didn't have to lie to their faces all the time) the risk far outweights the potential gain, which is none if you think about it.... it's not like i'd just suddenly start talking about my sexual life with my friends or whatever if i told them and they were okay with it. well, the one "gain" would probably be them stopping with the "oh, we have to find you a girl!" they bring up once in a while. so, to me it's just a lovely dream i don't dwell much on
 
I know it's difficult but nothing is impossible I met a friend with the same interest it took a very long time before I dared to talk about it. You probably have the greatest opportunity to find someone here in the contact thread.
 
Keily said:
I know it's difficult but nothing is impossible I met a friend with the same interest it took a very long time before I dared to talk about it. You probably have the greatest opportunity to find someone here in the contact thread.
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It is easier when you're a woman. It is an entirely different ball game when you are a man.

Doggyluv said:
The thought of "coming out" to anyone scares the hell out of me, i have a hard time trusting and opening up to people and if i was outed my life would be over. But i can't shake the feeling that i'm alone, that i have no one to relate to, and express a major part of myself around. I have never even met anyone that i thought might be zoo.
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Why do you think that I spend so much time on here?
 
Well, I don't really feel alone... maybe recently after a whole week of not leaving the same building (god damn government) but it is extremely tempting to tell someone around from time to time. Like having a cookie in front of my nose but eating it would be very risky. Still, I don't particularly care whether that person is zoo or not. Sure, it would be nice but not that different. By the way, I'm very easy to identify just by listening to my life goals so I think it is a matter of time until I find someone by pure chance. Isn't that the case for most exclusives? At least partially?
 
I have met a few zoos who are now my friends. It usually takes years of online contact to even consider letting someone into your personal life. So be prepared for that. I met them on a local forum not an international one.
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for sure, it would definitely take a lot of time to trust someone enough i met online to meet irl

You bio says otherwise, but don't you have other interests where you could find people/friends?
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having friends and people in my life with similar interests and hobbies isn't the issue, i have a good circle of friends. thankfully

And why is it so important for you to out yourself?
If your sexuality would be socially acceptable i'd say go for it, but outing yourself as a zoo, is a big nono.
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I don't want to out myself, if my family and friends knew i doubt anyone would understand. If anyone is going to know im zoo its going to be another zoo

while it'd be really nice to have ppl close to me know the real "me" (just so i didn't have to lie to their faces all the time) the risk far outweighs the potential gain, which is none if you think about it.... it's not like i'd just suddenly start talking about my sexual life with my friends or whatever if i told them and they were okay with it. well, the one "gain" would probably be them stopping with the "oh, we have to find you a girl!" they bring up once in a while. so, to me it's just a lovely dream i don't dwell much on
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that's a good point

Like having a cookie in front of my nose but eating it would be very risky. Still, I don't particularly care whether that person is zoo or not. Sure, it would be nice but not that different
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good analogy

By the way, I'm very easy to identify just by listening to my life goals so I think it is a matter of time until I find someone by pure chance. Isn't that the case for most exclusives? At least partially?
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same here, i live a very zooy life. my job and future career goals are dog oriented, I have always put my dogs first in every aspect, i go out my way to help every dog i can, I get along with most dogs and people really notice that.

better if you share friendship with somebody out of your circle, another city maybe
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i agree, i have a few friends that would probably understand, they know how much i love dogs, how much my dogs and all dogs mean to me, and they know i would never hurt a dog. But even if they are understanding they might tell someone that is not understanding, then my life would be over



Thank you everyone for the kind words of support. here's to hope
 
Doggyluv said:
i've had this dilemma for a long time now. The thought of "coming out" to anyone scares the hell out of me, i have a hard time trusting and opening up to people and if i was outed my life would be over. But i can't shake the feeling that i'm alone, that i have no one to relate to, and express a major part of myself around. I have never even met anyone that i thought might be zoo. I'm envious of zoos that have other zoos in their life, when i hear of zoos with other zoo friends it kinda makes me depressed because i know its possible, it just hasn't happened for me yet. I just hope i don't go through my whole without meeting someone else like me, it seems possible but at the same time impossible. The thought of hanging out with another zoo seems so surreal. So if you feel the same way let me know how you cope, or if you have zoo friends in your life let me know how you met them.
Click to expand...



Let me just say hello. You can call me Beta. I'm somewhat new here too...
There is a bunch of community members, as you have seen on your thread, that feel the same as you. Possibly reach out to the people who have commented here???
I struggled with that same feelings you have now.... Now, I know I do not have the worst life ever, I realize everyday now how much i actually had the best..
But I let it tear me down bit by bit..
My husband is a zoo so I'm fortunate to have him and my pup. However, I struggled with who I was and accepting myself. My family has no idea. friends, no clue. Best friends. Nada.
One moment after having a rough day and my sister just continuously preaching to me about how prayer works etc... It came out of my mouth like word vomit. "I ain't going to act like I'm religious and I pray to your god" "your god would be repulsed by what I am and so would you. "
Of course, so caught off guard she was froze in place looking at me...
I got close so no-one could hear just to ask her if she remembered a story that my mom had told us about my aunt who masterbated her male dogs whenever they get aroused just to "release some stress". She said she did. So, I continued with "okay, good. Bc I do stuff like that with Aisland. He is initimate with me and I with him.
My sister was very quiet at first, had a few basic questions like how? When?
She became more exact with her questions, mostly I think bc shes known Aisland, since he was a pup lol We sat and spoke for what felt like hours. We laughed, cried, and then laughed some more mostly bc it was awkward speaking anything kink or sexual with my sister...

After it all she said she wished I would of been honest with her with who I am and not been so hard on myself.. And that she knew that Aisland and I were very close. More close then any dog and human she's ever known but wouldn't have guess that.
Made ME feel better by telling her and made me proud to be who I am behind closed doors lol I like that I took a risk and told her for me... However, it wasn't anymore than that for her besides being there for me lol within all the concerns and questions, No judgement. No disgust. Or misunderstandings. Which is the best outcome.
So if you believe, it is mentally needed. And you have friends or family to come out to, and your comfortable with them, do it. Go for it. For you.
However, be careful on who you choose to come out to, of course.

Anyone on this thread needing a friend. Feel free to msg me or another community member RickRimes
We try to reply to everyone that msgs. And be there for like minded friends around the world.
 
BetaPackofThree said:
Let me just say hello. You can call me Beta. I'm somewhat new here too...
There is a bunch of community members, as you have seen on your thread, that feel the same as you. Possibly reach out to the people who have commented here???
I struggled with that same feelings you have now.... Now, I know I do not have the worst life ever, I realize everyday now how much i actually had the best..
But I let it tear me down bit by bit..
My husband is a zoo so I'm fortunate to have him and my pup. However, I struggled with who I was and accepting myself. My family has no idea. friends, no clue. Best friends. Nada.
One moment after having a rough day and my sister just continuously preaching to me about how prayer works etc... It came out of my mouth like word vomit. "I ain't going to act like I'm religious and I pray to your god" "your god would be repulsed by what I am and so would you. "
Of course, so caught off guard she was froze in place looking at me...
I got close so no-one could hear just to ask her if she remembered a story that my mom had told us about my aunt who masterbated her male dogs whenever they get aroused just to "release some stress". She said she did. So, I continued with "okay, good. Bc I do stuff like that with Aisland. He is initimate with me and I with him.
My sister was very quiet at first, had a few basic questions like how? When?
She became more exact with her questions, mostly I think bc shes known Aisland, since he was a pup lol We sat and spoke for what felt like hours. We laughed, cried, and then laughed some more mostly bc it was awkward speaking anything kink or sexual with my sister...

After it all she said she wished I would of been honest with her with who I am and not been so hard on myself.. And that she knew that Aisland and I were very close. More close then any dog and human she's ever known but wouldn't have guess that.
Made ME feel better by telling her and made me proud to be who I am behind closed doors lol I like that I took a risk and told her for me... However, it wasn't anymore than that for her besides being there for me lol within all the concerns and questions, No judgement. No disgust. Or misunderstandings. Which is the best outcome.
So if you believe, it is mentally needed. And you have friends or family to come out to, and your comfortable with them, do it. Go for it. For you.
However, be careful on who you choose to come out to, of course.

Anyone on this thread needing a friend. Feel free to msg me or another community member RickRimes
We try to reply to everyone that msgs. And be there for like minded friends around the world.
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thank you so much for sharing your experience, talk about a best case scenario lol. I'm glad things went well for you, hopefully i have the same luck if/when the time comes. I dont think ill come out to anyone close to me anytime soon, i'm just going to focus on making like minded friends on here. I just suck at reaching out to people and making the first move.
 
Doggyluv said:
thank you so much for sharing your experience, talk about a best case scenario lol. I'm glad things went well for you, hopefully i have the same luck if/when the time comes. I dont think ill come out to anyone close to me anytime soon, i'm just going to focus on making like minded friends on here. I just suck at reaching out to people and making the first move.
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That is a good plan! There is alot of cool people on here to get to know and be distant friends ❤
Just be yourself, read, post, comment. You're amongst friends here. Mostly open-minded too lol
Don't think about it just get to making some moves lol

Of course protect your real identity, face, location etc.
Which most of All the members will do that and will have respect for you as well.
I would suggest finding some groups to join, that must be approved by admin. Or possibly just posting on a thread like you did here lol
As I said you can always pm me as well
 
Doggyluv said:
thank you so much for sharing your experience, talk about a best case scenario lol. I'm glad things went well for you, hopefully i have the same luck if/when the time comes. I dont think ill come out to anyone close to me anytime soon, i'm just going to focus on making like minded friends on here. I just suck at reaching out to people and making the first move.
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Trust me bubba, you are not alone in that matter... Its extremely difficult for us good fellas to not get brushed aside with the rest the crazy, too horny. perverts that frequent our gender. PM me if you wanna chat my friend.
 
RickRimes said:
Trust me bubba, you are not alone in that matter... Its extremely difficult for us good fellas to not get brushed aside with the rest the crazy, too horny. perverts that frequent our gender. PM me if you wanna chat my friend.
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that's actually something i'm worried about, i don't want people i reach out to thinking i want to get with their dog or whatever. I just want some like minded friends. I would love to chat, ill send ya a pm
 
I've been zoo my entire life since age 10, and I've talked with many American zoofriends on the internet since before the days of even AIM. They're always 80% men and 90% crazy. They want zoosex NOW and can't contain themselves. I've had to stop talking to like 50% of them because of the direction of their conversation. It's quite unnerving actually. Especially when you're a closet zoo just looking for friends to chat with. Are things different in other parts of the world?
 
MysteryWag said:
I've been zoo my entire life since age 10, and I've talked with many American zoofriends on the internet since before the days of even AIM. They're always 80% men and 90% crazy. They want zoosex NOW and can't contain themselves. I've had to stop talking to like 50% of them because of the direction of their conversation. It's quite unnerving actually. Especially when you're a closet zoo just looking for friends to chat with. Are things different in other parts of the world?
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i'm pretty sure ppl "into it" just because it's taboo/kinky/degrading or whatever are all over the world...
 
Doggyluv said:
What do u mean?
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If you want to have friends you've got em on here, and they don't need to know anything about your personal circumstances i.e. you can be as open as you want about your needs and aspirations but no one can judge you or cause you any embarrassment. As long as you don't let on any personal details eg my name isn't NewToThis its. J.....
 
Doggyluv said:
i've had this dilemma for a long time now. The thought of "coming out" to anyone scares the hell out of me, i have a hard time trusting and opening up to people and if i was outed my life would be over. But i can't shake the feeling that i'm alone, that i have no one to relate to, and express a major part of myself around. I have never even met anyone that i thought might be zoo. I'm envious of zoos that have other zoos in their life, when i hear of zoos with other zoo friends it kinda makes me depressed because i know its possible, it just hasn't happened for me yet. I just hope i don't go through my whole without meeting someone else like me, it seems possible but at the same time impossible. The thought of hanging out with another zoo seems so surreal. So if you feel the same way let me know how you cope, or if you have zoo friends in your life let me know how you met them.
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i think a lot of us feel the same about coming out to people, only people that know im zoo are an EX and people ive met from here IRL
even with people ive met before irl im still nervous re-meeting but always find its worth it.
just take your time getting to know someone (or more) nice before actually meeting, your not alone.

The zoo mates i have - ive met through this site and chatted for about six months before meeting, but since then i feel so much better about what we share with our dogs and about 100% more normal being part of a massive zoo community.

one of my zoo Friends has become trusted enough to be invited to my home, stay a few night and share an experience with my girls (K9) and have a great ongoing mate-ship , But for the few trusted Friends ive also come across a lot of waste of time people so be choosy and dont rush in if you do decide to meet irl.
wishing you the best :)
 
One thing thats nice about meeting a fellow zoophile is that theyve never met you, and they start off only knowing that your a zoophile, then they get to know your personality, whereas if it were vice versa, it might have a different affect.
 
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I know the feeling all too well. I want to get to know more zoos/furry zoos but I kind of already suck at meeting and talking to people as it is. I really only interact with people in one particular way and if it's not through that then I honestly kinda struggle to go out of my way to talk to people.

Based on my experiences though, those kinds of things tend to just happen naturally, so I'm pretty patient in that regard.
 
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