For those who aren't exclusive zoos -- those looking for a human partner, as you are -- I think it only backfires to make what is then just a specific kink the fundamental priority of a relationship.
We had already been married. Love of my life. Best friends. Greatest love story ever written (and *still* being written, still becoming deeper and deeper). What we are today ("pansexual" zoos) we didn't begin that way. It's not unusual for people even in such a deep bond to still have parts of themselves they're cautious about revealing, afraid it might cause the other pain. We did have some things we openly shared and discussed, of course. Like, although we are in an open relationship sexually, I strongly urged her to stop seeing married men cheating on their wives. Mainly because that put us at ground zero of what almost *always* turns into a nuclear catastrophe, implicating her/us in the destruction of another human being -- his wife. Not only the guilt for her soul-ripping agony that we would incur once she found out, but very often opening the door of our own private lives to the ensuing drama.
And small things, like anal sex. Sorry. Tried it lots of times. I'm just not into it. Never sexualized the "out door" -- not of others or my own. I've been game. I've been a good sport. But... when it comes to buttholes, I'm pushing rope. She *really* likes anal. She likes rimming. I don't.
You could say we're not a "match" then, because sexually, we have those differences (and several others). But our love is not sex-based. Sex is not a priority or obsession or urgency or need. It's an option. Some of our relationships with others are sexual. Some aren't. And in the ones that are, a wide array of ways that it's expressed.
I had personally "exercised the option" with animals. I've had a wide-open, total relationship with animals since my earliest memories. When I married her, I stopped. No big deal. Even though I knew she loved animals deeply, and witnessed how animals loved her -- just adored her -- I never broached the topic. Neither had she. Loving animals, just like loving human beings (animals ourselves), should not be based on sexual activity. I've loved neutered and sexually disinterested animals as deeply as any that I've been sexual with.
It may never have come to anything until one day in bed, as I awoke, I realized she was stiffening, holding her breath, then gasping orgasmically. When she opened her eyes and looked my way, noticing I was now looking at her, she bit her lip, smiling. I asked if she was, you know, using the Hitachi. I didn't hear anything and was looking for the cord. She wagged her head and slowly pulled back the covers. There was her little dog with its snout nearly completely buried, frenetically going to town on her, and at this point pretty much causing pain now. She was squeezing her legs together, squirming, pushing her dog's head away, which was still furiously trying to get more.
She was worried that I might think she was the most disgusting thing on earth and wanted to know what this did to my impression, what it would do to our relationship.
How did I react? I whipped off my covers and started stroking a raging hard-on, which attracted the dog's attention right away, licking me to orgasm and speed-lapping up my cum while my wife's eyes were fixated on the action. She was grinning and laughing at how her dog was "attacking" my cock.
So... that turned into the revelation we had this thing in common. I discovered her sexual "openness" extended to openly sharing sexual pleasure from her pets, receiving mainly. And I learned how she secretly craved an opportunity to enjoy a horse, probably a mini. We both excitedly revealed to one another how we both think horse cock is the absolutely most beautiful tribute to cock on the planet. And she is attracted to donkeys, just as I am. She'd be open to that. And my yellow Lab became her first large breed vaginal sex soon after that. She has no qualms about my female large breed lover history. We haven't had a female since we got married, though, and we would never go get a dog just for that.
In conclusion -- and this is just our personal opinion, based on our background and our experiences, how our own idea of love has evolved -- lots of people are "doing it wrong." They're obsessed with sex. It's almost a single-minded mission for them.
Many want the kind of relationship *we* have (and some have told us this). So... they look for their "match," as if they can just walk into a relationship like a turn-key startup business and are successful right off the bat. They see what we have (and what a number of other people in this forum have), and they say, "I want that, too!" So ... that's where they intend to start. Not at the beginning, as we did, but at the end, where we've gotten to, what we evolved into.
We think that's putting the cart before the horse. And it's the most risky way to go about it.
One, it's a million-to-one long-shot that finding another person based on that one thing will match up in any other way. (A few people here, though, yes, we know, have done that, and we wish them continued happiness, but we're not betting on it).
Two, by placing too much emphasis on that one thing, putting your energy in finding someone just like that, you'll probably be passing up many, many opportunities to find the love of your life because that box was left unchecked on their application.
"Love isn't something that you find," as the song says; "it's something that you do." We'd add, "It's something that you custom build, without clear instructions, no blueprint. Play it by ear. Feel your way through it one bit at a time."
How do you find a zoo partner? We would say finding a partner at all is hard enough already without putting a specific sexual requirement on it. Remember, your own sexuality is not a fixed thing. Neither is another person's. And when you have a loving partner, you'll likely deemphasize some things and be attracted to others. Together. As a couple. And some other things, they'll either be things that fade away or are accepted as your own thing, something you can still pursue on your own. I didn't discover I liked to suck cock till I was 45. And it was her encouraging me to try that out. She was "bi" (damn, we hate labels, but... limiting as they are, they're necessary sometimes). And the idea of bi and gay guys turned her on. She kept encouraging me to try it. When I did, I wondered what had been my hangup over it all those years. Heck, I may even still someday discover I like anal. Could happen! (Just doesn't seem likely at the present moment, that's all). And if that happens? It's because of her influence, the influence my best friend's interests have over me.
But we don't need any of them. And we don't need to fuck animals. Our relationship with our animals isn't based on sex. Ourselves, we were very, very happily married *before* we knew we had zoophilic interests. Being mounted by a male dog, she'd have probably never ventured there except she just happened to be married to a person "into" that -- as she learned later. But if that ended today, we know we'd be okay. We're still with a person we're committed to, deeply trust, and hope to be with in the next life, if that's a possibility. If one of us could not have sex anymore for some reason, we'd still be as deeply in love as ever. I would not go out looking for someone to "bust a nut" with (I HATE that expression). And she does not need me to "perform" the way I did when I was 25. If it ever hurt me for her to be with another man, it would be over. I know this because on earlier occasions, when she thought she'd "over enjoyed" someone, that it may have caused me pain, she was devastated. She doesn't *need* other men. But I know she likes cocks. She likes guessing what kind of cock this man has, or that one. And I'd wrap up all the cocks in the world in a giant bouquet and give them to her, just to watch her enjoy seeing them, touching them. Why in the world would I want to limit her to just one. Mine. When there are so many, many different kinds -- each belonging to a very different, unique man?
Sex is not a need. It's a craving, sure, and it's an opportunity to share certain kinds of pleasure. We have preferences, sure, but there are so many ways to satisfy the "itch" that one preference alone should never be the basis for any relationship, human or animal. Just a possibility. A "that would sure be nice" thing. A nice option when you can get it. But, oh well, if not, c'est la vie. (If you're *desperate* for sex, if it's become such an obsession for you that you're despairing over it, get counseling. Seriously).
And that's the secret behind how we came together. It's because we looked at it that way that we "found" each other -- basically that when we met, we found each other attractive to the other, offering each other a relationship based on so much more than sex could ever be.
As for people who are "shopping" for a zoo partner? -- Stay the fuck away from our female relatives: our daughters, mothers, sisters, nieces, female cousins. You creep us the hell out. Not your interest in bestiality but your obsession with it, blinding you to the wonders of the unique people that each of them is. (Guys who say things like, "It's hard enough to find a girl to fuck, let alone one who's a zoo." Those guys open their mouth like that and betray the very reason they aren't "getting any").
I can already hear people countering this with, "We don't see the difference. YOU "found" a woman who would have sex with an animal. That just means you won the fucking lottery, you gloating summabitch." Or cries of despair that they'll probably never be that "lucky."
They didn't even hear the part that it's not something we were ever gambling on in the first place. It wasn't the point. Being with someone you're just happy being with is the point. The rest works itself out.
EDIT: (Add on) Those who persist, who still want to go the other way round, starting out by looking for boyfriend/girlfriend candidates from a select pool of known zoophiles, we don't have any advice. We ourselves have never "advertised." And we've never sought ought zoos, either of us, on a website. The female zoos we've met with in person over the years were all friends of hers who, even in THESE cases... were friends already. They just later discovered they were zoos, too (but none of them were looking for a human man... just liked being each other's secret keepers).
) but the *reason* they have them is not *because* they are zoo. Neither of those neutered males were sexually active. Not even interested.
