nekdoneco123
Esteemed Citizen of ZV
"i will catch you if you fall" was the first full (kinda cheesy yeah) sentence i ever told you.
i meant it pretty literally at first. you, a tiny not even six weeks old puppy, didn't really grasp walking yet and stumble a lot.
you were the runt of the litter, your own mother allegedly cast you aside from the other pups in the basket, you were alone. my friend at the time gave you to me as a sort of "wanna give it a shot?" gift. you were this little worm-filled fur ball that didn't even fill a quarter of the shoe box i got you in.
i taught you how to walk properly. well, "properly". you picked up my limp, i found it fucking adorable. rest of the world not so much, i'd get "is her leg okay?" every so often for the rest of your life. you (probably because of being a runt) never got to grow to a full-sized kangal and looked like your skin was two sizes bigger. i didn't care. you are... were beautiful.
you probably never realized, but you changed my life from the ground up. i'm not even exaggerating. before i got you i was unemployed, living with my parents, living off my parents and only really cared about video games. took me about four months after i got you (when the puppy bills started pilling up and simply "helping with chores" wasn't enough) i got a job. a real shitty one, but this "do it for her" simpsons scene kept playing in my head. six months later i finished my driving license so i could show you the world and didn't have to ask others to drive us to vet anymore. one and some change year later i got us a house. a goddamned house! who knows what i'd be if it weren't for you.
when Victor and George entered our lives, you just accepted them. you who never really liked other dogs. you just accepted them, let them play with your toys, eat out of your bowls, sleep in your bed. maybe you knew what especially George will grow to mean to me, maybe you just realized they needed help. the both looked more like corpses than dogs...
when Victor fought his demons curled up and shivering in corner as if expecting when the beating comes after i put down my cup of tea a little too hard, you'd just sit there beside him. watched over him. whenever George bolted under the table terrified when thunderstorm started you did the same. you'd just sit there beside him.
i'm 100% sure you were also the reason George eventually stopped harming himself. you just kept changing the lives of everyone around you for the better. you made them feel safe, part of a family.
when i took you to the shelter after George died to pick a new friend. you picked Ron, he didn't really appeal to me at first, but it was your choice so it went... i only learned later that Ron was abandoned as a four months old puppy and spent more than three and a half year in that shelter, behind one fence. it's like you just couldn't help it and just kept changing lives of others....
when i eventually got Argo, his "family" arrived to drop him off and the first thing he did was go for my throat because he didn't know any better (and i was dumb enough to just approach 72kg caucassian shepherd and try to pet his head), you didn't give a shit that he's more than twice your size. you just pushed yourself between us and held your ground like a goddamn hero... and he backed down. just like that. who knows maybe i'd be dead if it weren't for you?
when sickness struck and i couldn't afford to feed you all and had to give Victor away (he was the youngest, with most chances to get a shot at nice life), you'd lay in bed with me for as long as it took for the depression to go away. you who were the first to beat me over the head with leash to go for a walk otherwise.
when George died, you did the very same.
when i came down with a fever, you'd force yourself under the covers and pushed your back against mine to heat me up. you who never really liked being under covers otherwise.
you were a goddamn healer and a therapist on top of life changer.
anytime i had to leave you stopped whatever you were doing and walked me to the gate. when i was approaching on return you were already there....
last year while we did have a close call, we did beat the tumors. not this time... no one is waiting at the gate for me, now. Ron is too busy spazzing out over every little thing, four years "free from prison" and he's still amazed by every little thing outside with this wonder of a little puppy. you did that. Argo learned what safety and having a real family is and simply grew lazy, he doesn't really watch over the gate, but over how made up the bed is. you did that as well. i may be the one who brings in the money, but you're the one who made this family...
and you know what? i'd fucking do all this all over again in a heartbeat if i could. i can't, all i get is to hope my belief there's nothing after is wrong and i'll get to see you again. maybe you really are with George and all your pups now?
huge chunk of me definitely died with you...
Bára, my first, my guardian, my partner, my lover, my favorite kisser, my little spoon, my therapist, my healer, my lady, my princess, my life changer, my hero, my world...
28.4.2014 - 5.2.2024
(my pfp is her when she was a puppy)
i meant it pretty literally at first. you, a tiny not even six weeks old puppy, didn't really grasp walking yet and stumble a lot.
you were the runt of the litter, your own mother allegedly cast you aside from the other pups in the basket, you were alone. my friend at the time gave you to me as a sort of "wanna give it a shot?" gift. you were this little worm-filled fur ball that didn't even fill a quarter of the shoe box i got you in.
i taught you how to walk properly. well, "properly". you picked up my limp, i found it fucking adorable. rest of the world not so much, i'd get "is her leg okay?" every so often for the rest of your life. you (probably because of being a runt) never got to grow to a full-sized kangal and looked like your skin was two sizes bigger. i didn't care. you are... were beautiful.
you probably never realized, but you changed my life from the ground up. i'm not even exaggerating. before i got you i was unemployed, living with my parents, living off my parents and only really cared about video games. took me about four months after i got you (when the puppy bills started pilling up and simply "helping with chores" wasn't enough) i got a job. a real shitty one, but this "do it for her" simpsons scene kept playing in my head. six months later i finished my driving license so i could show you the world and didn't have to ask others to drive us to vet anymore. one and some change year later i got us a house. a goddamned house! who knows what i'd be if it weren't for you.
when Victor and George entered our lives, you just accepted them. you who never really liked other dogs. you just accepted them, let them play with your toys, eat out of your bowls, sleep in your bed. maybe you knew what especially George will grow to mean to me, maybe you just realized they needed help. the both looked more like corpses than dogs...
when Victor fought his demons curled up and shivering in corner as if expecting when the beating comes after i put down my cup of tea a little too hard, you'd just sit there beside him. watched over him. whenever George bolted under the table terrified when thunderstorm started you did the same. you'd just sit there beside him.
i'm 100% sure you were also the reason George eventually stopped harming himself. you just kept changing the lives of everyone around you for the better. you made them feel safe, part of a family.
when i took you to the shelter after George died to pick a new friend. you picked Ron, he didn't really appeal to me at first, but it was your choice so it went... i only learned later that Ron was abandoned as a four months old puppy and spent more than three and a half year in that shelter, behind one fence. it's like you just couldn't help it and just kept changing lives of others....
when i eventually got Argo, his "family" arrived to drop him off and the first thing he did was go for my throat because he didn't know any better (and i was dumb enough to just approach 72kg caucassian shepherd and try to pet his head), you didn't give a shit that he's more than twice your size. you just pushed yourself between us and held your ground like a goddamn hero... and he backed down. just like that. who knows maybe i'd be dead if it weren't for you?
when sickness struck and i couldn't afford to feed you all and had to give Victor away (he was the youngest, with most chances to get a shot at nice life), you'd lay in bed with me for as long as it took for the depression to go away. you who were the first to beat me over the head with leash to go for a walk otherwise.
when George died, you did the very same.
when i came down with a fever, you'd force yourself under the covers and pushed your back against mine to heat me up. you who never really liked being under covers otherwise.
you were a goddamn healer and a therapist on top of life changer.
anytime i had to leave you stopped whatever you were doing and walked me to the gate. when i was approaching on return you were already there....
last year while we did have a close call, we did beat the tumors. not this time... no one is waiting at the gate for me, now. Ron is too busy spazzing out over every little thing, four years "free from prison" and he's still amazed by every little thing outside with this wonder of a little puppy. you did that. Argo learned what safety and having a real family is and simply grew lazy, he doesn't really watch over the gate, but over how made up the bed is. you did that as well. i may be the one who brings in the money, but you're the one who made this family...
and you know what? i'd fucking do all this all over again in a heartbeat if i could. i can't, all i get is to hope my belief there's nothing after is wrong and i'll get to see you again. maybe you really are with George and all your pups now?
huge chunk of me definitely died with you...
Bára, my first, my guardian, my partner, my lover, my favorite kisser, my little spoon, my therapist, my healer, my lady, my princess, my life changer, my hero, my world...
28.4.2014 - 5.2.2024
(my pfp is her when she was a puppy)
